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A Temple For Two? :D

CameranCameran
edited September 2009 in Buddhism Basics
Just thinking in the future a little bit,
but say i met a girl who was really into buddhism aswell,
and we really are starting to fall in love..we both decide to
go on a retreat, are we aloud to display affection there?
Or would we have to be like..seperated haha i dunno just curious.
Let me know you wonderful people you! :) haha

Comments

  • LincLinc Site owner Detroit Moderator
    edited September 2009
    In a hypothetical situation where you met a hypothetical girl who hypothetically got into Buddhism and went with you on a hypothetical retreat, you'd have to ask the people hypothetically running it what they're hypothetically comfortable with because everyone's different :p

    (ps: you're worrying/pondering too much)
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited September 2009
    ...and continuing the hypothetical theme. hypothetically speaking, you'd hypothetically probably be able to hypothetically tell whether the hypothetical connection and affection between you would be acceptable or not, and if not, hypothetically, you'd probably be quietly taken to one side and hypothetically spoken to.... I think that - hypothetically or not - you'd be aware of what is proper and acceptable, and what is not.

    Going on a retreat is exactly that.
    Retreating.
    It's a committed, if temporary change to the way you live your life normally, in order to deepen your understanding and manifestation of your calling.
    it's not a jolly-jaunt, get-away-from-it-all holiday for two.....
  • fivebellsfivebells Veteran
    edited September 2009
    On the retreats I've attended, when we kept silence, it's been strictly to improve the effect on us. People have been obviously hooking up, and it hasn't been overtly squashed.

    People adopt silence because it intensifies and often speeds the results of practice. It's not a moral posture, it's a practical one.

    It probably depends on who you ask, though.
  • TheFoundTheFound
    edited September 2009
    I think it's a lame question i dunno why but, i don't like it.

    so probably, i'd say

    just don't fuck around..take it like a hero.... for her sake too..
    ask yourself why u going to the retreat or wherever for? you know.... not because you wanna mack on some girl....or to get more attached to each other, you gotta make sure you both get 100% out of it, but it's not like a vacation so much, you know...

    hmmm how about this, go with her, whatever, but imagine her the whole time as a corpse with no skin. might even impress some people :eek::eek::eek:

    HAHAHHAHAHHA
  • sarasara
    edited September 2009
    Cameran - go alone.

    A retreat centre is not a holiday park or a vacated film set.

    I have to say, the question makes me uncomfortable too but I know you're young and it was meant in a harmless way ;)
  • fivebellsfivebells Veteran
    edited September 2009
    sara wrote: »
    I have to say, the question makes me uncomfortable too but I know you're young and it was meant in a harmless way ;)

    If someone makes you uncomfortable like this, they've done you a favor. They've brought to light an attachment to be released.

    You seem to be implying that the question was in some way inappropriate. I don't think that's true at all.
  • sarasara
    edited September 2009
    Yeah. Re-reading my post it looks like I'm assuming I'm right and then justifying it which seems quite patronising. Sorry Cameran.

    I agree that it's important to be taken out of one's comfort zone. But once out of it I reserve the right to feel uncomfortable and to express my discomfort.

    I agree though that I should take ownership of it.

    My problem with the question is that it seems to cheapen buddhism by making it look like the backdrop to a bad porn film.

    I have already posted on here tonight about how much I detest popular culture's portrayal of all things 'zen' and buddhist.

    But hey, why am I so worried about it right?
  • fivebellsfivebells Veteran
    edited September 2009
    sara wrote: »
    I have already posted on here tonight about how much I detest popular culture's portrayal of all things 'zen' and buddhist.

    What do you detest about it?

    If Buddhism as a movement is portrayed in a derogatory way, does that change your relationship to the teachings and practices espoused by the Buddha?
  • sarasara
    edited September 2009
    No it doesn't. It just irks me.
  • fivebellsfivebells Veteran
    edited September 2009
    sara wrote: »
    No it doesn't. It just irks me.
    Brethren, if outsiders should speak against me, or against the Doctrine, or against the Order, you should not on that account either bear malice, or suffer heart-burning, or feel ill will. If you, on that account, should be angry and hurt, that would stand in the way of your own self-conquest. If, when others speak against us, you feel angry at that, and displeased, would you then be able to judge how far that speech of theirs is well said or ill?' 'That would not be so, Sir.'
    'But when outsiders speak in dispraise of me, or of the Doctrine, or of the Order, you should unravel what is false and point it out as wrong, saying: "For this or that reason this is not the fact, that is not so, such a thing is not found among us, is not in us."'
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited September 2009
    It's a mild irritation at the perpetuation of stereotype, fuelled by ignorance and apathy....

    I understand it.
    I've been party to it.
    Now, it just makes me smile.....
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