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Help me please?
I am in a tough situation for me, i am attracted to this girl and she is attracted to me. We are not in a relationship but i often go to the park or she often comes to my house, i find it very hard not to be flirtatious with her and we often hug or cuddle up together. I really want to get passed this and become just good friends but i find it really hard as she is very beautiful.
Can anyone suggest any techniques or ways to get over this stage.
Thank you.
Hope your all happy and well.
Can anyone suggest any techniques or ways to get over this stage.
Thank you.
Hope your all happy and well.
0
Comments
I mean, why don't you want a relationship?
And if you really, really REALLY - didn't want one - why keep giving in to the temptation of letting her come to your house?
Why not be more honest and open with her, about what you want, and don't want (whatever they are)?
Think you're going to have to give us a bit more on this one....
Wellcome to our forum, by the way!
I realise i phrased the question very badly and took some time to meditate on the matter and realised that i was seeing a problem where there was none, i am very lucky to have such a good friend, and in the past a kind of bodhisattva
I hope i can help some of you in future
How would you know that?
And why not now?
Why do you not wish to be in a relationship with her?
Are you thinking of ordaining?
Is celibacy an important factor in your life?
Does she know this?
Just helping you possibly sort the thoughts out.
Nice to have you with us......:)
I meant that i have been in situations in the past where she has helped me out and given me a kind of awakening on how i am living life and what i need to change. I did not mean she was no longer helping me.
I do not wish to be in a relationship with her because at this moment in time we are best friends, we are very close and i am happy with that, i feel that if we were to be in a relationship that the only thing to change would be the physical side to it and i do not wish to change the whole basis of our friendship.
It is not that i wish to be celibate or become ordained it is the fact that i do not want to destroy our friendship.
It is appreciated
~nomad
Yep. Most threads I see of this nature are about wanting to get past that friends state.
I’m going to go now and see if my couch is stuck to my ceiling.
~nomad
you could probably manage to let her know how u feel, AND keep the option open for the future, should u decide to go for her.
In my opinion, your attitude here is very wise.
Friendship is the most important thing.
If later both of you developed compatable mutual goals for your futures, then the friendship you have nurtured would provide the foundation of a relationship that many couples lack.
However, apart from that, in my opinion, it is unskilful to harm a friendship due to some physical attraction.
Friendship, appreciation, gratitude and the other mature emotions you have expressed are mature expressions of real love.
Also, try to look beyond the surface and look deeper at the beauty you see. How much of the beauty is physical and how much is of the heart or spirit.
Kind regards
DDhatu
Your words have helped clarify this in my mind and helped strengthen my resolve to build upon and further strengthen our relationship and put this before any sensual motivation.
It is appreciated, Jackus.