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buddhism with agonistic afterlife beliefs?
I think that's what I am. I accept the Buddhist moral ideals (at least more or less accept them to the best of my abilities), I'm a vegetarian, I practice yoga and meditation (a bit). However. I used to be a believer in an afterlife of a kind and the Buddhist one made the most sense to me, however now I more and more begin to realize that this desire to live on is just a "group trance" where people simply delude themselves. Till reincarnation becomes scientifically proven and generally accepted by the scientific community I'll treat it as 50/50. If I die and get reborn or freed then splendid, if I die and nothing happens I won't care.
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I honestly don't ponder much about rebirth or even the whole cosmology. I firmly believe that the Buddha meant those concepts as a reality tough, but I just can't get myself to put too much faith in it.
I guess in my case I am just a bit jaded. I used to be very catholic, but after a few people close to me and also very religious had a terrible end my faith in things beyond this world/life just died with them.
Maybe, if I might digress, in my case I am just too hurt to put my faith in anything. Your post actually make me see that and gave me something to reflect upon, because I don't think I can follow the Dharma very far if I am just justifying my skepticism and denying what I feel.