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Sharing a Changing Practice
Moving into a practice of non-practice, non-doing or non-renunciation. This is an approach that I have always known, even before taking refuge, and always understood it to be the end result of the “logic” of Non-duality. A pure condition is no “closer” to the unconditioned than an impure one, and the purification of bodymind brings an equidistant result. So one must simply let go at once, allowing bodymind and world to unfold without obstruction. Paradoxically this is only real to me after many years of renunciative practice. If I had not made all that effort in the trenches , the perfection of things as they are would mean nothing more than ordinary unconscious dispersion. So the notion of “doing nothing” seems to be tricky. Perhaps there are those who's karmic situation allows for “sudden awakening, sudden cultivation” but for me it has been “Sudden awakening, gradual (ongoing) cultivation”
My practice as it is now is to be/act naturally within the weightless effort of recognition. Body-mind and world are ownerless and unobstructed. The pivot point of practice is simple recognition, remembering when in dispersion. In the moment of recognition things are already unbound.. But.... I must choose recognition instead of dispersion. It is never an issue of not being able to wake-up, but not wanting to. The compensations of being born yet again are chosen over freedom. The melodrama of being born is picked over the perfect peace of remaining unborn. Why is this? I have suffered enough through privation, illness, the death of loved ones, and am working through a major illness with my partner now, yet somehow I am willing to invest once again, in becoming an entity with an agenda. Even though I know full well it is just another run on the hamster wheel.
Anyway.. Would be interested if anyone is at a similar place in practice. And please ...a disclaimer ..I am not saying this is the approach to practice so if you are at a very different place I respect that.
My practice as it is now is to be/act naturally within the weightless effort of recognition. Body-mind and world are ownerless and unobstructed. The pivot point of practice is simple recognition, remembering when in dispersion. In the moment of recognition things are already unbound.. But.... I must choose recognition instead of dispersion. It is never an issue of not being able to wake-up, but not wanting to. The compensations of being born yet again are chosen over freedom. The melodrama of being born is picked over the perfect peace of remaining unborn. Why is this? I have suffered enough through privation, illness, the death of loved ones, and am working through a major illness with my partner now, yet somehow I am willing to invest once again, in becoming an entity with an agenda. Even though I know full well it is just another run on the hamster wheel.
Anyway.. Would be interested if anyone is at a similar place in practice. And please ...a disclaimer ..I am not saying this is the approach to practice so if you are at a very different place I respect that.
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Comments
You're only a hop, skip and a jump, relatively speaking, from where I am, outside Ottawa.
But I think you're probably worlds ahead of me when it comes to Buddhist practice and understanding because I'm afraid that I didn't understand a lot of your post. I got some key parts but then got lost on others. But I'm still very new to Buddhism. I'm content that I understand today a lot of what I didn't understand yesterday. Maybe tomorrow I'll understand even more.
I'm sure there are more than a few folks around here who are at a similar place with their practices as you and you'll have some wonderful conversations. I've learned a lot from hanging around this joint and I've grown very fond of our little online sangha. I bet you will too.
It's lovely to meet you, Richard. Please make yourself at home.
Yep, all the time. In fact, here I am on the internets, when the correct action is to be writing my manuscript...
Before you can desire to wake up, you have to be aware that it's an option. Then you need the capacity to calmly endure the pain which waking up brings. Sitting meditation develops both of these necessary qualities.
It's my absolute favourite dessert. Love, love, love it.