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will it just snap into place?
Eh?
Will the pieces fall into place someday and i'll say "**** it!!! I'm Buddha!"
I feel like I have a certain understanding of Dharma, but I don't apply it, or it's not.... like ingrained yet , its still outside of me...
I feel though that my ego is hanging on a thin thread, about to break off any moment, but it needs a big....whats the word 'jostle'?....
my understanding is like looking through a dirty dirty window...it just needs to be cleaned a bit more to see,
I'm on the edge of a precipice, I know I should let go and jump.. but there is still a bit of fear holding me from doing it..
Will the pieces fall into place someday and i'll say "**** it!!! I'm Buddha!"
I feel like I have a certain understanding of Dharma, but I don't apply it, or it's not.... like ingrained yet , its still outside of me...
I feel though that my ego is hanging on a thin thread, about to break off any moment, but it needs a big....whats the word 'jostle'?....
my understanding is like looking through a dirty dirty window...it just needs to be cleaned a bit more to see,
I'm on the edge of a precipice, I know I should let go and jump.. but there is still a bit of fear holding me from doing it..
0
Comments
Is something wrong?
There is nothing wrong. In fact, it is all good.
What you are feeling is vital for installing a 24/7 practice. It could be compared with the work that goes into digging a new channel for the water of your habits to run down, a new 'line of least resistance'. Because, you see, practice does not somehow become irrelevant when we 'wake up', au contraire, it becomes the state and activity of choice.
I would add that you sound as if you are in that place where we expect that "all will be well and all will be well and all manner of things will be well" somehow turns us into a cross between Superman and Mahatma Gandhi. Just you wait and see!
I try to meditate 5-10min a day. I focus on breathing. It felt strange at first but now I can't imagine not doing it daily. I feel so "re-generated" after meditating. Even for such a short time.
I now pay close attention to cause/effect on what I am doing. This is a huge change for me. Realizing how I act/react to ALL situations ,even the simplest forms, so I can work on building/repairing kamma.
I have googled and found some good reading on Buddhism and beliefs and have been reading through the material when I have time.
I have been reading about death and trying to fully grasp the understanding and belief and working to get in my mind that it's a natural occurrence and to not "fear" it.
By doing the above for 2 weeks, I can honestly say, I feel real good.
I have that feeling of inner peace that I haven't had in a long long time.
I am looking at numerous people and situations in ways I never have.
My belief is that will continued practice and building on the above that the inner peace will only get stronger as I go on.
Just my 2 cents
B
And thank you Simon, wise as always
Whatever your state, keep practicing.
Not like that. It's not about assuming a new identity. The pieces may fall into place, someday, but not until you've abandoned any hope for such a result.
A teacher can really help you with this.
Stop trying to understand. Just practice, and talk to a teacher about your experience.