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A few questions from a beginner
Sorry if these questions have already been asked. They probably have, in one form or another, and it's okay if you just redirect me to the places where they have been asked...
First of all, what does it mean to be good? Not to harm others? What does it mean not to harm others? Who are others? Whenever I decide to be a better person, I get enthusiastic at first... Then I realize I'm not sure if I know what's right in many situations, and ask myself if it's all just relative...
There's this concept that there are three types of people: those who are giving too much, those who are taking too much, and fair people... Should I be fair or is it impossible to give too much? I sometimes do feel that some people have put me in a position of taking too much, because they're giving me too much... My mother, for example. And what if I just refused taking/receiving too much? Would that hurt her? Does she like giving too much? Again, is there too much?
And, of course, there are situations when you just don't know what the right thing to do is... Should I give money to homeless people? Maybe they'll spend it on drugs. Is abortion always wrong? Should I tell a friend if I knew her boyfriend cheated on her but he says he won't do it anymore?
Or... Is it better to spend your life in modesty and helping other people or in gaining money and power using whatever it takes and then using that power to help people?
With how much freedom can I express myself? Even seemingly harmless things I say can have a negative effect on other people. What if someone who is good and happy reads this topic and starts looking at things in another way, in a worse way, and becomes a worse person?
What about animals and plants? Aren't we also animals? Do animals have free will? Can they be good or bad? Do we have have free will? Isn't it all just a bunch of chain reactions? Isn't everything in nature beyond good and evil?
Should we try not to hurt just people or animals too? If only people, what makes us special? If animals too, what about plants? If plants too, what makes them different from every other living organism? What about really really small bugs in the carpet? Is it okay to kill a virus?
That's enough for the first time, hope someone can help.
First of all, what does it mean to be good? Not to harm others? What does it mean not to harm others? Who are others? Whenever I decide to be a better person, I get enthusiastic at first... Then I realize I'm not sure if I know what's right in many situations, and ask myself if it's all just relative...
There's this concept that there are three types of people: those who are giving too much, those who are taking too much, and fair people... Should I be fair or is it impossible to give too much? I sometimes do feel that some people have put me in a position of taking too much, because they're giving me too much... My mother, for example. And what if I just refused taking/receiving too much? Would that hurt her? Does she like giving too much? Again, is there too much?
And, of course, there are situations when you just don't know what the right thing to do is... Should I give money to homeless people? Maybe they'll spend it on drugs. Is abortion always wrong? Should I tell a friend if I knew her boyfriend cheated on her but he says he won't do it anymore?
Or... Is it better to spend your life in modesty and helping other people or in gaining money and power using whatever it takes and then using that power to help people?
With how much freedom can I express myself? Even seemingly harmless things I say can have a negative effect on other people. What if someone who is good and happy reads this topic and starts looking at things in another way, in a worse way, and becomes a worse person?
What about animals and plants? Aren't we also animals? Do animals have free will? Can they be good or bad? Do we have have free will? Isn't it all just a bunch of chain reactions? Isn't everything in nature beyond good and evil?
Should we try not to hurt just people or animals too? If only people, what makes us special? If animals too, what about plants? If plants too, what makes them different from every other living organism? What about really really small bugs in the carpet? Is it okay to kill a virus?
That's enough for the first time, hope someone can help.
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Comments
Many many questions. I can see your sincerity and your keen desire to understand.
Buddhism is all about how you create your inner environment ... creating one of compassion for others, and of not putting so much emphasis on one's self, of slowly prying apart the grip of our urgent need to try to always be happy and never be unhappy. (There are some very articulate and wise people on this site who will hopefully throw in their 2 cents).
As you start changing that inner environment, the motivation for your actions, the intention behind your actions, also starts to change. What's right or wrong? ... I think Buddhists consider actions from right intention to be right actions.
But for now, anytime someone does something for you, you "owe" them (so says my teacher, who fixes a many-course Tibetan meal once a year for all the people who have done things for him, explaining it as clearing up his "debt"). So your mom helps you, which is what moms do to an annoying degree (it's like we can't help ourselves!) So do things for her too. And if you need to do something for yourself (rather than having her do it), gently tell her so ... help her to see how she can best help you by letting you do it for yourself.
Can you give too much? I don't think that's something we have to worry about, as we generally don't give enough!
Is it better to spend one's life in modesty or to strive for money and power? Each person must listen to their heart on the paths they take in life. And you will hear your answer when you need it -- trust that.
thought, you do truly understand that everything we do impacts others. This is basic Buddhist principle. But if someone becomes "worse" because of something you have said ... that is their responsibility. You can't be responsible for the world, only for yourself.
As for animals, when Buddhists are encouraged to develop loving kindness for all sentient beings, that includes animals. If someone develops compassion, how can they hurt any other being without themselves feeling pain?
Is it all just a bunch of chain reactions? Well, yes, I suppose -- we operate primarily out of our imprints and habits, and what we do in every moment creates our future. Change those imprints and habits, and the path/outcome changes. Buddhism is one way to do this.
The Buddha 's advice to parents is straightforward: help your children become generous , virtuous , responsible, skilled, and self-sufficient adults .
It simply means giving them the basic skills they'll need in order to find true happiness. The rest will take care of itself.
The single most important lesson parents can convey to their children is that every action has consequences.
Each moment presents us with an opportunity, and it is up to us to choose how we want to think, speak, or act. It is these choices that eventually determine our happiness.This is the essence of kamma , the basic law of cause and effect that underlies the Dhamma.
It is also the message behind one recorded teaching the Buddha gave to his child, Rahula. This sutta offers parents some important clues about teaching Dhamma to young children -- in terms of both the content of what to teach and the method to use. In this sutta the Buddha reprimands the seven year old Rahula for telling a small lie.
The content of the Buddha's lesson here is clear and simple: it concerns right speech , and helping Rahula keep himself true to the fundamental principles of virtue .
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/mn/mn.061.than.html
"What do you think, Rahula: What is a mirror for?
"For reflection, sir.
"In the same way, Rahula, bodily actions, verbal actions, & mental actions are to be done with repeated reflection.
"Whenever you want to do a bodily action, you should reflect on it: 'This bodily action I want to do — would it lead to self-affliction, to the affliction of others, or to both? Would it be an unskillful bodily action, with painful consequences, painful results?' If, on reflection, you know that it would lead to self-affliction, to the affliction of others, or to both; it would be an unskillful bodily action with painful consequences, painful results, then any bodily action of that sort is absolutely unfit for you to do. But if on reflection you know that it would not cause affliction... it would be a skillful bodily action with pleasant consequences, pleasant results, then any bodily action of that sort is fit for you to do."
Same for verbal and mental actions.
"Good" means not to kill, steal, lie, get extremely drunk, and engage in sexual misconduct. It also means to not think about doing these things or talk about doing them.
For example, to abandon eating meat and be vegetarian (except in cases of sickness where meat is prescribed as a cure, which is often the case in Ayurvedic and Tibetan medicine) is a good action that benefits oneself and all sentient beings.
Also, to be good means to have loving, compassionate, joyful and non-prejudicial attitudes to oneself and all sentient beings.
It means to be generous, ethical, patient, hard-working, meditative and wise. It also means to accumulate many good deeds and spiritual wisdom by listening to the Dharma.
In short, all that is good is encompassed by the Bodhisattva vows of Samantabhadra.
The difference between plants and sentient beings is the word "sentient". Sentient means "having senses" - eyes, ears, tongue, nose, body, and mind senses. Generally, sentient beings have some or all of these. Hence, they are sentient and can directly experience those sensations connected with those senses. This means that plunging a knife into the cow, for example, stimulates those senses and there is extreme pain - just as if you stabbed a person.
With plants, it is different. Plants are not considered "sentient beings" because they lack eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body and mind. Plants are not completely devoid of stimulus-response, as they react to sunlight, music, vibrations and so on. However, cutting a branch off a tree does not induce pain in a plant the same as cutting a leg off a sheep, for example. Because the plant does not have the nervous system required to stimulate a response of "pain", which sentient beings have as a warning system that something is not right with the organism.
Therefore, there is much less karma in removing a branch from a tree than there is in removing a wing from a chicken, for example.
If you can avoid killing, you should. However, whilst vacuuming the house, you will suck up spiders, lice, and so on. There is no bad karma from this because you do not have an evil or greedy thoughts, or ignorance that leads you to destroy their life. Also, if you suffer from a virus in your body and you take medicine to destroy it, there is no bad karma involved. Still, if you are concerned about it, you can mentally pray that the bugs and so on will be reborn in heaven or in a realm where they can hear the Dharma. Also, you can dedicate all your daily good deeds to the enlightenment of all creatures, and that way your karmic "footprint" is even less.
Here are the vows of Samantabhadra, the All-good Bodhisattva (Samanta = All, bhadra = good)
First, Pay homage and respect to all Buddhas.
[SIZE=-1]Second, Praise the Thus Come Ones (Tathagatas)[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]Third, Make abundant offerings.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]Fourth, Repent misdeeds and evil karma.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]Fifth, Rejoice at others' merits and virtues.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]Sixth, Request the Buddhas to turn the Dharma wheel.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]Seventh, Request the Buddhas to remain in the world.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]Eigth, Follow the teachings of the Buddhas at all times.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]Ninth, Accommodate and benefit all living beings.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]Tenth, Transfer all merits and virtues universally."[/SIZE]
May every living being, drowning and adrift,
[SIZE=-1]Soon return to the Land of Limitless Light![/SIZE] (Amitabha's Pure Land)
If you can uphold, or recite, or think about these vows, then you are doing the good work of all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas throughout all times.
Yes, but am I not responsible for having said that? If I dig a huge hole somewhere and some people fall into it, they are responsible for not being more careful, but am I not responsible too (for digging a hole in a place where people could fall into it)? Why would verbal actions be any different from physical actions?
I might have a few more questions after I think about your answers...
The examples in the post I'm quoting can be sticky questions indeed. When we say something with good intention and it hurts someone or when we do something in all innocence and someone gets hurt where lies the blame?
I don't know. We would have to examine each case separately and apply the Buddha's recommendations to each.
You've already received some wonderful advice so I'll add only one thing: When asking yourself these and other questions remember that the Buddha taught 'The Middle Way', the way that avoids all extremes. Apply that first and see if that changes your understanding.
If I think of anything else that might be of help to you I'll come here and let you know.
It's lovely to meet you and I hope you find this forum as helpful as I have.