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New Member Intro
Discovered this site a few weeks ago and have found it welcoming and interesting. I've only recently come to Buddhism...primarily due to discussions with an online friend.
I've been thinking recently about how odd it is that even people who've been on the path for several years still can't seem to allow other people to be who they are. Sort of like how married couples will often try to change each other instead of finding ways to exist peacefully together.
It makes me wonder if our 'buttons' are often modular-like. Defuse a button over one area doesn't mean it gets defused in any other situation. How long does it take to find the roots of these "hot buttons" that set one off?
What are we to do if we are the victim of a group that is on a witch-hunt to run us out of town? Would the Buddha tell you to just ignore it and let them run you out? Are you supposed to stay completely silent while they level attack after attack after attack ad nauseum for years? Do you just roll over and play dead? What if the attacks go on for years and ignoring them isn't working as a strategy to stop them?
I've actually read books where children endured horrific bullying (physical and mental) at school for years on end and no one stepped up to do anything to stop it or if they did only do so minimally. They grow up to have real psychological scars and problems from it. Is it any less scarring for this to happen to adults - even those who attempt to fully implement the Buddha's teachings? Do Buddhist practices inoculate one fully from psychological scars by other people specifically targeting you for attacks?
I am really struggling with how a fully enlightened Buddha would handle the above situation.
On another topic I'm still not very advanced meditation-wise. I've had the very odd experience of having a later stage come first and having an awful time trying to reach the earlier stages now.
Have been busy reading Daniel Ingram's book as a way to get past some of my meditation obstructions.
Well...just wanted to say hi.
I've been thinking recently about how odd it is that even people who've been on the path for several years still can't seem to allow other people to be who they are. Sort of like how married couples will often try to change each other instead of finding ways to exist peacefully together.
It makes me wonder if our 'buttons' are often modular-like. Defuse a button over one area doesn't mean it gets defused in any other situation. How long does it take to find the roots of these "hot buttons" that set one off?
What are we to do if we are the victim of a group that is on a witch-hunt to run us out of town? Would the Buddha tell you to just ignore it and let them run you out? Are you supposed to stay completely silent while they level attack after attack after attack ad nauseum for years? Do you just roll over and play dead? What if the attacks go on for years and ignoring them isn't working as a strategy to stop them?
I've actually read books where children endured horrific bullying (physical and mental) at school for years on end and no one stepped up to do anything to stop it or if they did only do so minimally. They grow up to have real psychological scars and problems from it. Is it any less scarring for this to happen to adults - even those who attempt to fully implement the Buddha's teachings? Do Buddhist practices inoculate one fully from psychological scars by other people specifically targeting you for attacks?
I am really struggling with how a fully enlightened Buddha would handle the above situation.
On another topic I'm still not very advanced meditation-wise. I've had the very odd experience of having a later stage come first and having an awful time trying to reach the earlier stages now.
Have been busy reading Daniel Ingram's book as a way to get past some of my meditation obstructions.
Well...just wanted to say hi.
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Comments
A fully enlightened Buddha has clear knowing of what is right and wrong whereas children who suffer from bullying do not. It follows, the bullying of a child will often affect the child's mind.
For example, if a person tries to harm or bully a Buddha, a Buddha has sympathy towards their welfare because a Buddha understands what the bully is doing is unskilful & harmful to the bully.
Where as a child subject to bullying suffers because within their mind, knowingly or unknowingly, they have respect towards the bully. They give the bully some kind of authority or validity whereas a Buddha would not do this.
Thus the child subject to bullying suffers. They suffer because they themselves have wrong views.
The fully enlightened Buddha said: Thus, those who have been affected by bullying need to straighten out in their mind the matter of right and wrong. This is necessary because the victim of the bully has the false views in the quote above. By doing this, the 'victim' can disempower the bully and disempower the effects of the bully's actions. As a result, their being a 'victim' will end and there will remain wisdom & freedom.
Kind regards
DDhatu
Kind regards
DDhatu
I take it the Buddha had an answer as far as trying to minimize or defuse completely the psychological damage of bullying but he didn't have an answer of how to stop attacks in the 'real world'?
I take it a Buddha could still be run out of town (albeit with a clear, enlightened mind)?
I wonder - how does one have compassion for someone but not have respect toward them or their views? Wouldn't a lack of one compromise the other?
Think of your present difficulty as the first real opportunity you've had to do serious work. Be grateful for the chance. :-)
As an adult, unlike children, we have greater choices about with whom we associate and where we live & work. That is possible.
A Buddha does not respect the views of those with the disposition to harm others. A Buddha completely respects people but not necessarily their views.
Buddhism teaches the Four Brahma Vihara. The first is metta, namely, friendship or respect. The second is karuna, namely, compassion or the wish to end suffering in others. The third is mudita, namely, sympathetic joy, happiness for the good fortune of others. The fourth is upeka, namely, equinimity, imparting responsibility upon others and accepting they are ultimately responsible for their actions.
So, towards a bully, a Buddha possesses metta, karuna & upeka but not mudita. The actions of a bully are unskilful & harmful to both themselves & others. So a Buddha cannot think towards a bully: "May you not be parted from your good fortune". This is because a bully does not have good fortune but has a psychological illness or disease. The bully's mind is under the control of greed, hatred & delusion.
A person is a victim when they catch the bully's disease.
Kind regards
DDhatu