A feeling of despair

JosePaez

Hi everyone, I am new to this site and I wanted to ask a question to all the community.

I have been studying buddhism for about 6 months now, it has given me a lot of clarity on my thoughts, it has been as if I am reading my own mind, for some reason I get to understand a lot of the concepts as my own and that has been really uplifting.

However, I still struggle to mingle buddhism on my every day life, the most recent has been after being informed I did not get a job I applied for. I have been in my current position for 4 years now and I have applied numerous times to different job positions within this company and never got one. I have the dark, angry feeling I am not being appreciated after what I have done. I am told afterwards that my interviews were great but there was something else that someone else had that I didn't.

I feel neglected, I feel I am not going to get anywhere in this company. I can't leave my job as I have a family and I obviously need the money. But I hate to feel the apathy crawling over and sinking a little bit everytime I get passed over for a job.

I guess I just needed to let my feelings out, any word of wisdom is greatly appreciated.

fivebells

You have to take freedom. It won't be given to you unasked. Prove your worth, either by looking for jobs at different companes and asking your current one to match an offer you like before you jump ship, or by proposing and implementing an improvement to the business you're serving, negotiating higher status and benefits along the way.

RenGalskap

Hi Jose,

I know how you feel. I've been on both sides of the interview process, and hiring decisions get made for reasons you can't imagine. It's often difficult to decide what qualifications to ask for, and the qualifications listed in the job announcement are usually not set in stone. I've seen people get to the final interview, the manager decides to hire them, and someone higher up pulls the plug because they decided at the last minute that they want to hire someone with some additional qualification.

I would look for jobs both inside and outside the company. The greater the number of jobs you apply for that you are interested in, the greater your chances of getting hired into a new position that you want.

RichardH

May I suggest something? The simple phrase "This is how it is right now, this is how it feels" Brings you to the Shi*ttiness of the moment. You are automatically measuring this moment against an idea of how it should or should not be. But still...you are here. You are pinned to the wall like a bug. The suffering is in wanting it to feel different than it does. That struggle, that want is the pivot point. See... wanting this moment to feel different than it does. In a long retreat we are placed in a situation where we would rather pull our eyeballs out than sit upright against a wall.....again. That is our situation all the time.

When this want is fully seen, there may be a shift. The sh*ttyness remains, precisely as it is, but the back wall behind your eyes has fallen away. That is a light on the path. It will be short, just a shift, but it is the thin point of the wedge.

fivebells

Good advice, Richard.

AllbuddhaBound

Jose Paez wrote: »

Hi everyone, I am new to this site and I wanted to ask a question to all the community.

I have been studying buddhism for about 6 months now, it has given me a lot of clarity on my thoughts, it has been as if I am reading my own mind, for some reason I get to understand a lot of the concepts as my own and that has been really uplifting.

However, I still struggle to mingle buddhism on my every day life, the most recent has been after being informed I did not get a job I applied for. I have been in my current position for 4 years now and I have applied numerous times to different job positions within this company and never got one. I have the dark, angry feeling I am not being appreciated after what I have done. I am told afterwards that my interviews were great but there was something else that someone else had that I didn't.

I feel neglected, I feel I am not going to get anywhere in this company. I can't leave my job as I have a family and I obviously need the money. But I hate to feel the apathy crawling over and sinking a little bit everytime I get passed over for a job.

I guess I just needed to let my feelings out, any word of wisdom is greatly appreciated.

What a great post. I have experienced many of your identical feelings. I have felt under-appreciated, I have felt like giving up, I have felt frustrated and I have felt angry as a consequence.

When things went my way, I have experienced joy and elation and a feeling all is right with the world. Eventually, those same experiences of angst show themselves again.

Life is wonderful.

Namaste

DhammaDhatu

Hi Jose

The Buddha called your situation craving. Craving is the cause of suffering & despair.

Most of us wish to be appreciated fully and find the work (and pay) we think we fairly deserve.

But the work place can be more than that. Often cliquiness is required. Other times, we may require to develop some further skills we are overlooking.

That aside, I recall the depth of the global financial crisis and how I was so grateful and felt so relieved to have a safe job.

And you know, I do not even need a job. I have no family and can easily live in a monastery.

So, it your case, you have a family, you have dependents and you have a job. Such good fortune.

As you have life's material requisites, the Buddha recommended to develop spiritual contentment.

Kind regards

DDhatu

DobeDobeMu

A job is a job. A vocation is complete devotion to working for the freedom of all beings, if we see purpose behind every act, and every action having come from the source of being in all events equally well, open.