Family

JamDonkey

I have recently become a buddhist (former Catholic). My parents and grandparents are very strongly Catholic and I don't know how to tell them that I'm a Buddhist now. I'm afraid they would get upset because their beliefs are so strong.
What should I say?
Please help

sambodhi

"Don't ask, don't tell."

But seriously, why bring it up if you know it will cause controversy and drama within your family? Does them knowing that you are a Buddhist somehow help you on your path to liberation from suffering?

Buddhism is an intrapersonal journey, not interpersonal.

JamDonkey

Thanks Sambodhi!

Ya. I do need to tell them because they go to church every Sunday and they try to get me to go. I don't want to be rude or them to ask questions, so I just go.

Thanks

sambodhi

Tell your family that you are a grown adult, are capable of making your own decisions, and don't need the pressure to attend church on Sundays.

JamDonkey

Okay
Thanks Sambodhi.

Somnilocus

Buddhism doesn't conflict with Catholicism. The big point to emphasize if an issue arises is that there is no god/worship. Really you're following the same path just taught in different wordings, in ways that speak more to you. You can explain that you're following Jesus' path in your own way, which, in truth, you essentially are. There's no need to necessarily emphasize that you're Buddhist now.

Buddhism doesn't conflict with Catholicism. You can continue going to Church occassionally, even if just to amuse your parents. ;] Even the Dalai Lama meets with the Pope from time to time. ;]

JamDonkey

Thank you so much Somnilocus!
That really helped! I really appreciate it!

FoibleFull

I don't know which type of Buddhism you are practicing, but Catholicism and Tibetan Buddhism have many parallels. Note, however, that my exposure to Catholicism is 40 years old, when mass was still sometimes said in Latin:
-The guru puja is similar to the transubstantiation of the host.
-The Vajrasattva puja is similar to the sacrament of confession.
-The lineage of gurus is similar to the Apostolic succession.
-Both have a physical expression to their worship: genuflection and prostration. And both use gestures within the worship (gently hitting your chest while saying something about "my most grevious sin", and various mudras used in Tibetan Buddhism)
-As I remember reading it, St. Theresa d'Avila's treatise on how to do contemplative prayer sounded like instructions for meditation.
-Both have multiple saints, and a central mother figure (Mary and Green Tara).
-And (as in all religions), the importance of compassion and love.

fivebells

Of course, the principal parallel is that temporal power accreted around both of them, leading to authoritarianism, and corruption of the teachings on which they were originally based.

FoibleFull

Probably. After all, you sort of have the "market" cornered if you tell people you can cleanse them of their sins, or clear their negative karma, or what have you. What's NOT to like?

Lyssa

My advice is somewhere in between the prior advice given here. I wouldn't tell them you're a Buddhist and I wouldn't go to church. There's a lot not to love about Catholicism, so it shouldn't be too hard to explain why you choose not to go. I personally would never associate with any organization that excludes gays from membership and women from leadership. I also wouldn't associate myself with an organization that protects child rapists or discourages condom use in AIDS-riddled Africa. I'm sure you can articulate your own objections without ever bringing up Buddhism. If your family is truly devout, then you can expect them to believe that you are headed straight for a lake of fire. No need to add fuel with talk of Buddha.