Meaningful Connections

Jason

Sometimes I think I think too much, but every once in while, those thoughts provoke some interesting questions about life. On the way home from attend... Continue reading

essenceofbodhi

One thing you should remember, although there are such advances in technology and they may make you feel such a way
What a wonderful way to have more time for yourself to sit in meditation if people are carried away with technology!
The sitting itself is not the goal but the eventual fruit of proper meditation: enlightenment
and when your enlightened, what will a cell phone or computer have to do with you benefitting or not benefitting others?
All benefit for others comes from seeing others as the Buddha, which is a revelation which comes when one has realized the nature of mind!!

zenone

Hi Jason,

Thanks for putting so clearly into words what I think is one of the greatest problems facing our culture today.

I think you are correct in pointing out just how much we have in common. But what, specifically, is it that we have in common? Is it that we are all lonely? Is it that we all have two legs, two arms, and a face?

Here, I think the buddha had the correct answer. We all suffer. No exceptions. Every human being on the planet suffers because they were born and because they will die. Many people wern't as lucky as us to be able to come upon this truth. But that doesn't change the fact that we all equally embody the truth.

I would say that the best way to beat the feeling of loneliness and also the social awkwardness is to learn how to reach out to other people. This often does not involve talking to them about what is true and what is untrue. It more involves talking to them about them. It may sound egocentric, but if you do it in a loving and kind way, they are going to get the point. But I think the most effective method is to learn to first see this suffering in yourself, learn to have compassion for yourself, and then learn how to eliminate your suffering. Then not only will you feel connected to other people, but your connections will be enormously meaningful.

With metta,
Zenone

Jason

Good advice, Zenone.

physicsstudent

I had a note on my facebook wall last week about this same subject. In it, I discuss the problems people have communicating with each other, but I also discuss what I believe to be the cause. Essentially, I reject the notion that it is inherently technological, so much as it is a structure of our communities.

We don't care about our neighbors, we don't know our neighbors, we don't trust them. We don't really have any community anymore. How can people be expected to care about what's going on in Tibet or Darfur if they won't care about the people next door?

If anything, the obsession with technology is a reaction to that. As we find ourselves having less and less invested in whatever "community" we have left around us in the real world, people turn to technology to create communities of their own. This isn't bad, its just a substitute for what we've lost in reality.

Frankly, I think we need to return to a more community-oriented culture, but I don't see that happening.

aMatt

Interesting ideas! When I look at the decline of meaning in interpersonal relationships, I can see that many people are so busy, texting and talking, listening and bobbing, on and on we are surrounded by more and more stimulus.

It reminds me of eating foods. If you have one food that you eat every day, you might be able to come to appreciate all of the subtle qualities of that food. If you eat one mouthful of many, many different foods, then your taste buds (or in the relationship sense, the mind) doesn't have time to clear out before the next taste arrives. Of course then each type of food loses the depth as all experiences mash together. I imagine a single pair of best friends would know each other more deeply and usually share a deeper level of communion with each other than a network of 100 txt omg' me2ers.

When I see myself in this kind of mind, I slow down to let the interactions resound inside my head and heart, making more room for the seeds and fruits people offer. You know how people who smell for a living clear out with coffee? Some intently focused breathing or body awareness clears my senses after an experience. Then, even if the next interaction goes almost unnoticed on their side, on my side it becomes deeply nourishing and I come to love them tremendously.

With warmth,

Matt