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When you see violence on the street
Dear people of this forum,
Since a few months I am studying the teachings of the Buddha and try to apply them to my own life and thinking. Unfortunately I have no teacher, but I learn a lot from books and from translation of Suttas and other Pali texts.
Yesterday I was walking through the city where I live and a drunk man was beating his girlfriend in the middle of a busy street during the afternoon. Surprisingly everybody ignored them even though the woman was crying and screaming him to stop hurting her.
Even though I too would rather not be involved in violence, I felt that this woman needed help and that I was capable to help her.
I walked towards them and pulled the guy off of the woman and stood in between them in front of the woman, horizontally stretching my arms to defend the woman. Then I told him he could not touch this woman again.
He started threatening me and warned me that if I wouldn't move that he would beat me to dead. I refused to move and continued to stand in front of the woman telling him that he could not touch this woman again.
Then he punched me in my face, and my eyebrow started bleeding and blood came in my eye so I could not see for 10 seconds. When I had regained my vision again, the man had run away leaving the woman behind.
But when the police came some minutes later (I think someone on the street had called them), the police say to me it's stupid to risk my own safety to protect the woman. They said that maybe the guy would have a knife and could have stabbed me, since he was drunk and aggressive.
Now my question is: What would be wise to do if you follow and try to live by the teachings of Buddha?
In this case people can say that it's better to call the police, but what if you see this happening at night in a remote place, and you don't have a phone with you. Then you can only choose to help the woman or walk away.
What would a monk do if he would be in this position? On what would he base his opinion? What would be his motivation for deciding?
I hope there is someone here who can give me a good answer.
Thanks in advance,
Taendjin
Since a few months I am studying the teachings of the Buddha and try to apply them to my own life and thinking. Unfortunately I have no teacher, but I learn a lot from books and from translation of Suttas and other Pali texts.
Yesterday I was walking through the city where I live and a drunk man was beating his girlfriend in the middle of a busy street during the afternoon. Surprisingly everybody ignored them even though the woman was crying and screaming him to stop hurting her.
Even though I too would rather not be involved in violence, I felt that this woman needed help and that I was capable to help her.
I walked towards them and pulled the guy off of the woman and stood in between them in front of the woman, horizontally stretching my arms to defend the woman. Then I told him he could not touch this woman again.
He started threatening me and warned me that if I wouldn't move that he would beat me to dead. I refused to move and continued to stand in front of the woman telling him that he could not touch this woman again.
Then he punched me in my face, and my eyebrow started bleeding and blood came in my eye so I could not see for 10 seconds. When I had regained my vision again, the man had run away leaving the woman behind.
But when the police came some minutes later (I think someone on the street had called them), the police say to me it's stupid to risk my own safety to protect the woman. They said that maybe the guy would have a knife and could have stabbed me, since he was drunk and aggressive.
Now my question is: What would be wise to do if you follow and try to live by the teachings of Buddha?
In this case people can say that it's better to call the police, but what if you see this happening at night in a remote place, and you don't have a phone with you. Then you can only choose to help the woman or walk away.
What would a monk do if he would be in this position? On what would he base his opinion? What would be his motivation for deciding?
I hope there is someone here who can give me a good answer.
Thanks in advance,
Taendjin
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Comments
However it's a tricky question because the best thing to do is always to act without grasping to self. So in a sense, any action with a strong grasping to self, even taking a hit, is problematic.
I think some monks would hit. I think some monks would defend. The realized monks however would defend the person and suffer the full consequences whatever they may be while actively maintaining a pure view (selflessness). But if a person is not capable of that (ie. all of us) we should look after our own skins too (as well as others), that's why I say knock out the baddie.
btw, if you took the hit with strong compassion then you did a brave thing so i rejoice
I'm not sure where you live but in most "civilised" countries, you'd probably be charged with assault (if the person pressed charges or there were any witnesses)
Not that I agree with that kind of legislation.
I think it would be proper to control the man by either knocking him out or through various arresting techniques. This is the most painless way to avoid him hurting himself or other people.
You did well.
The motivation is always compassion; for the victim, for the attacker, and for yourself. Victim and attacker are two sides of a single coin. Both suffer. You cannot end their suffering, but you can intervene with compassion. Sometimes it is best to avoid situations. It doesn't sound like yours was such a case, however, and you did exactly the right thing (which took no small amount of courage, I'm sure).
I would not follow the suggestion of "knocking him out" unless that was my only possible means of stopping him. It takes much more courage to stand before him, as you did. Had you been trained, you might have been able to avoid taking the hit, but your sacrifice may well have done more good than you can know. Had you physically attacked him, his anger would only have grown, possibly to be taken out on the woman at a later time. "Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they're yours." ~ Richard Bach
A wholly awake individual (monk or not) responds with objective, measured compassion. There most certainly are people capable of responding in this way. In fact, I would say our friend here did a fine job of just that, whether he realizes it or not. I can't say what his "view" may have been at the time, but the outcome suggests a measure of clarity.
I have been in similar situations. My focus was upon ending the conflict in the least disruptive manner for all parties. I've put myself in harm's way more than once in defense of others. Perhaps some are not capable of maintaining a pure view in extreme situations, but it is rather presumptuous to assume nobody is.
no...
what I would have liked to do in your situation is use intelligence to avoid getting hit, and to stop the violence..
maybe in the future try asking the guy his name, if he tells you his full name you have a big advantage, if he lies or doesn't tell you, you have another advantage,
use psychology to get him to back down, without him even knowing it...
worst case, tell him you are a cop off-duty, or you know this girl... you are a priest something like this.., or you've seen him before/know who he his.
if that fails and he just straight up punches you in the face...at which point he probably realized he will get arrested for sticking around....it's a small price to pay for being a hero...also the way you did it, you had little risk of getting in trouble with the law, but you did maybe risk getting stabbed or shot...
to minimize that risk, maybe learn judo, jujitsu or carry a stun gun, for quick preemptive defense in this type of situation..:D
good job though man.
For myself, I am greatly impressed by the peacefulness of Mahatma Gandhi. As to when you are attacted with violence, then only take the hit and not respond back with violence.
My first thought when I was hit was also rather "I'm amazed he actually hit me" and not a thought of anger. And my second thought was to see if he handn't returned to hit the woman.
Then I saw he had run away, since I did not see him anymore. But no thought of anger occured to me at all.
Aaki, what exactly do you mean with the sentence above? How do you define "take a hit with strong compassion"? What do you mean with that?
And to the others, thanks for answering my question, it was interesting reading your opinions.
Friend, you are truly brave and selfless.