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My dad is very ill. Help please?

jhanajhana Explorer
edited December 2009 in Buddhism Basics
He is 75 y/o and has a worsening of his heart condition/angina. Aside from his seeing the doctor soon, my question is this:

As a Buddhist, is there anything I can do? E.g. say pujas, meditate, do chanting, anything else, ask others to do likewise?

Will those things make any difference or is it all the same in the end?

Thanks.

Comments

  • fivebellsfivebells Veteran
    edited December 2009
    My Mum has recently been diagnosed with a particularly virulent form of breast cancer. Not as threatening a situation as yours, but similar. I have been doing the exercises described in these talks, titled "Death: Friend or Foe?" It's not going to improve Mum's chances in and of itself, but it's helping to face the risk peacefully.
  • jhanajhana Explorer
    edited December 2009
    Sorry to hear that 5B. I'm downloaded those talks now, thanks.
  • NiniNini
    edited December 2009
    fivebells wrote: »
    My Mum has recently been diagnosed with a particularly virulent form of breast cancer. Not as threatening a situation as yours, but similar. I have been doing the exercises described in these talks, titled "Death: Friend or Foe?" It's not going to improve Mum's chances in and of itself, but it's helping to face the risk peacefully.


    5B
    Thanks. Im listening now.
  • shenpennangwashenpennangwa
    edited December 2009
    jhana wrote: »
    He is 75 y/o and has a worsening of his heart condition/angina. Aside from his seeing the doctor soon, my question is this:

    As a Buddhist, is there anything I can do? E.g. say pujas, meditate, do chanting, anything else, ask others to do likewise?

    Will those things make any difference or is it all the same in the end?

    Thanks.

    Hi Jhana,
    I am sorry to hear that your father is ill.
    there are many practices you can do for your father and you can have them done on his behalf.
    You can have people do phowa, chod, or other practices for him and you yourself can do the mantra recitations of Avalokiteshvara, Padmasambhava, Amitabha, and Tara. When you recite visualize the Buddha's blessings entering your father in the form of light and sounds of the syllables.
  • ValtielValtiel Veteran
    edited December 2009
    As a Buddhist, is there anything I can do? E.g. say pujas, meditate, do chanting, anything else, ask others to do likewise?

    I'm sorry you're going through this.

    I got into Buddhism when I was a teen. A year or so later my grandma ended up in the hospital. I was searching for things to do, Buddhist practices, and ended up coming to an article about "mantras for the ill and dying" or something to that effect. It was written by a well-respected Tibetan master. I was expecting mystical chants and rituals, but it simply said that the best thing you can do for someone in this situation, is use the mantra "I love you."

    In other words, make sure they know, show them you love them, and ask them what they need from you, ask them what's going through their mind, and just be there for them.

    This kind of woke me up to what's truly important and to face reality no matter what the outcome.

    If you haven't read this book yet: http://www.amazon.com/Tibetan-Book-Living-Dying-International/dp/0062508342 -I highly recommend it, just in general. I think you'll find it very helpful. It's very popular and many libraries carry it now.

    Take care~
  • Subjectivity9Subjectivity9
    edited December 2009
    jhana,

    A person who worked with the dying quite a lot, once said, “You don’t always have to talk, and straighten things out in this period just b/4 death. Sometimes just sitting with them silently, and gently holding their hand, is very comforting to them, and to you.

    Peace,
    S9
  • SnowpawSnowpaw
    edited December 2009
    Ask the angels to help. This is for all religions. Mentally ask them. Don't forget to thank them.

    I am very sorry you are going through this.
  • pegembarapegembara Veteran
    edited December 2009
    jhana wrote: »
    He is 75 y/o and has a worsening of his heart condition/angina. Aside from his seeing the doctor soon, my question is this:

    As a Buddhist, is there anything I can do? E.g. say pujas, meditate, do chanting, anything else, ask others to do likewise?

    Will those things make any difference or is it all the same in the end?

    Thanks.

    Just be there for him and let him know you are there for him. If he is Christian it may be better to read gospels or even pray for him rather than chant.

    Whatever you do just make sure he is comfortable with it.

    Metta
  • jhanajhana Explorer
    edited December 2009
    Thank you everyone. I have taken on board your suggestions. I'll get back to you in a bit. I really appreciate this, thanks.
  • BrigidBrigid Veteran
    edited December 2009
    I'm sorry to hear of your father's illness, Jhana. I think Mundus put it well:
    In other words, make sure they know, show them you love them, and ask them what they need from you, ask them what's going through their mind, and just be there for them.

    This kind of woke me up to what's truly important and to face reality no matter what the outcome.
    I'll be thinking of you.
  • TsongkhapafanTsongkhapafan
    edited December 2009
    Hi Jhana,

    What news? How is your Dad and did you find that anything worked?

    So sorry to hear about this suffering.
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