What a morning I had today, filled with anger, tears, hatred, betrayal, anxiety. It's been so long since I had felt this way. After some time to think, I had settled down. The tears stopped, the hatred faded, the stomach churning ended. The anger remains, but for reasons I feel are beyond my control (wrong, but I can't shake it). I tried my best to make the remainder of the day a positive one.
Tonight, I sat to meditate. I closed my eyes for a long inhale, but it suddenly stopped. It felt as if a hand were grasping my throat. I tried again. Nothing. The longer I tried, the more I felt parts on my body begin to twitch. My elbow shot out, my foot kicked, my lip shook. After 20 minutes of this, I tried to do some yoga and focus on my breath. It helped slightly, but not even close to completely. After another 20 minutes, I called it quits. I couldn't breath, I couldn't stop my mind from reeling, I had enough.
It's been a really rough day, roughest I've had in a long time
Anyone have any advise on how to over come my breathing problem?
Comments
When you feel calm I guess you can get back to meditation easily
Also try the metta meditation. Start spreading the metta first to yourself, then to the ones you love and gradually bring it to the people who hurt you.
Hope you will be fine
if the issue has you to the point of "cant meditate/hand on throat"
I've been there a few times, whether it's sadness or rage,
(rainy or stormy)
the problem lies in the clouds positions, you can't see the sun or sky that you want to see (clarity)- it's way too cloudy,
trying to see the sun will get rain in your eye and your vision will be more muddled. Lightning bolts and thunder will confuse you.
Think about your issue right now, bring it up again, im sorry..
take 2 minutes, to get it at the front of your mind..
now find a place where you can scream at the top of your lungs, hit something or break something, smash it, if you want to cry- cry. Picture your betrayer and smash something..
OVERDO IT.
this will force a reset of your system, and if this all sounds "silly" to you then the problem has already lost it's effect and you may breathe again..
but come on, screw doing 'yoga' or 'breathing' (gentle things)
to try to break a HARD storm..
It will of course help 100% for you to give us the entire story from your angle and from possible other angles,
who gives a shit if it's embarassing personal or whatever, we are here to help we don't judge people, we want to help
anyway good luck- i hope soon you can breathe easy...
Is the breathing problem related to a panic like feeling, maybe in your nerves?
I experienced similar blockages to meditation. I'm afraid the resolution is rather hard to describe. Roughly speaking, I initially experienced the mental phenomena underlying the blockages as separate from myself, then learned to see them as just another component of life, to be lived as fully as any other. In some sense, I became those phenomena, opened my heart to the experience of them, saw that there was no selfhood behind any of the experience, and the blockage released. But I don't know how much practical understanding anyone can get out of such a description... I hope it helps a little...
You see, I now have competition in my work. In my 3-4 years at this job, this hasn't happened to me. I was so angry that she is here. How dare she! I was here first! But after a week of bitterness, I realized that it wasn't solving anything. She has every right to do what she loves as I do.
I'm feeling better that I was a few days ago. I still have butterflies about the whole thing, but I like to think that I've let go of the anger. I really think the breathing problem was due to my overwhelming nervousness. I think I'll meditate on it tonight now that I'm breathing a little easier.
Thanks again everyone