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Afraid to become a social worker because of Karma
Hello there , i am a new member which decided to come here after i discovered buddhism and taoism not so long ago so please be patient. To start with i am a 21 year old woman , english is not my first language , i apologize for bad grammar in advance ..the reason im writing this post is because almost done with college and about to graduate with a social work major but im slowly backing away from the idea of working as a social . The thing is that i am a firm believer in karma and this job can be very intrusive the majority of the time we use our power to change people's lives and that scares me . First of all, i dont have much experience in life , since i was sheltered all my life by my overprotective parents .Second i suffer from social anxiety and a skin disease called vitiligo (google it to see images)and more than often i feel isolated from everyone. I am a loner . By now you may be wondering why would i take such career decision when i feel isolated and scared of people and the answer is i dont really know what else to do . I have never had any remarkable talents , nor do i care about life pleasures too much so helping people seems more noble and a way to at least do something with my life
but as i said i feel this kind of job can make you or break you , you do the wrong thing and you will mess up your client life forever, just like when a doctor give you the wrong pills , it can happen ,Its too much responsability to take and that can give me serious bad karma. Do you imagine coming back as reincarnated just to deal with some of the cases that went wrong or that were never meant to be changed ?
Sometimes thats what i think , maybe some of these people are meant to go through crap to deal with their own karma so if come in and get it over with will it be worse for them despite appearances that its good?
My other option is to keep studying & practicing buddhism & taoism and eventually become a nun or something that does not deal with an average american life . I do not want to get married or have kids , currently celibate , the passions of life are becoming a burden predictable going nowhere cycle so taking the oath for a monastery life while helping people in a non-radical way seems perfect to me , what do you guys think?
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but as i said i feel this kind of job can make you or break you , you do the wrong thing and you will mess up your client life forever, just like when a doctor give you the wrong pills , it can happen ,Its too much responsability to take and that can give me serious bad karma. Do you imagine coming back as reincarnated just to deal with some of the cases that went wrong or that were never meant to be changed ?
Sometimes thats what i think , maybe some of these people are meant to go through crap to deal with their own karma so if come in and get it over with will it be worse for them despite appearances that its good?
My other option is to keep studying & practicing buddhism & taoism and eventually become a nun or something that does not deal with an average american life . I do not want to get married or have kids , currently celibate , the passions of life are becoming a burden predictable going nowhere cycle so taking the oath for a monastery life while helping people in a non-radical way seems perfect to me , what do you guys think?
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Comments
Fear comes from not having clear view about skilful behaviours human beings ideally should follow. Without a strong sense of 'right' and 'wrong', we can easily become emotionally entangled.
What i said above can help.
This is superstition & unhelpful. If you wish to progress, focus more about learning about human behaviour. The world needs social workers.
As I said, you need to learn more about human behaviour and the cause & conditions that lead to human/social suffering.
Most social problems are cause by external factors. For example, child abuse is not caused by a child's past karma. Or problems of native peoples in certain countries are strongly influenced by their history of colonisation. Often unemployment is cause by poor opportunities of certain social groups.
To hold deterministic views of reincarnation as expressed above, you cannot be a social worker.
You do not need to ordain to try out monastic life. Try it as a layperson. But currently, your views about buddhism & taoism are superstitious and these will not help you in monastic life.
kind regards
DD
Relying on a bunch of random people on the internet to tell you whether you should give up your current life, your studies, everything, and become a nun, probably isn't the best thing to do. This is your life. No one here knows you well enough to even offer their opinion on which choice would be best for you.
If you're interested in ordaining, try a retreat for a week, then a month, etc... to get a taste of it in reality. It may or may not be what you imagined.
Social work is certainly difficult. However, it's an important job. Having people who truly care about others in this line of work is important. You just have to understand ahead of time that you can't always help everyone, and your resources will be limited.
Kamma isn't fate, and not everything we go through is kamma. But standing by and watching someone suffer and saying "not my problem" is certainly YOUR kamma. If your house is burning down, hopefully people don't stand by and shrug, saying, "well, probably just her kamma; her problem."
Social Anxiety Disorder and such can be helped greatly by meditation. Such disorders are very heavily rooted in the illusion of "self." This essay is a good starting point: http://www.what-buddha-taught.net/Books3/Bhikkhu_Buddhadasa_The_Danger_of_I.htm
As i said its not just social disorder , there are so many factors indicating that i should be helped before i try to help anyone. Besides i feel disgusted at the system and dont want to be a part of it.It was an interesting article but not a problem solver more like a starting point . thanks again
Karma isnt about what you do, but WHY you do it - thats one of the reasons compassion is so important. As long as your intentions are ruled by compassion, it doesnt matter if you mess up sometimes.
And wouldnt it be wonderful if all social workers, were people who tried everyday to work with as much compassion as possible. If all the good people run away from the bad places - only bad people remain to change it..... and that will probably be for the worse (not that i think you can divide people into good and bad - it was just an example)
But - if i were you, I would probably get some help about your social problems - even though you you might be a wonderful social worker, you dont sound like youre ready to deal with other peoples problems - im only basing this on your one post, so i might just be wrong.
I hope it helps
Much love
Allan
It is hard to shed away your fears caused by anxiety just by reasoning why those fears are irrational. That is why it is a disorder. Anxiety is triggered by a chemical imbalance in your brain and it is hard to reason your way out of those fears. Meditation/CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) will help but it takes time. I have never tried it but medicine helps in the short term but is not a long term lasting solution. So you see, there isn’t an easy way out of anxiety disorders. Accept that and what you can do is, find a balance of all these solutions and deal with it as much as possible. Here is are few suggestions from me
1) Don’t throw away the job even without trying it. Who said social work is a “radical” way of helping people? To tell you the truth, I see social service as a really quiet job with minimal human interactions. Imagine a job as a receptionist, IT guy (pressure of deadlines), doctors etc. Social service is emotionally rewarding and far better than some jobs out there in terms of day to day stress, deadlines, presentations, meetings etc. So try it. That doesn’t mean you have to somehow do it. You can try it and if you don’t like it then you can quit and think of the next options.
2) See a psychiatrist. Get some medicine prescribed for your first few days at work. Under medication your fears will vanish and they will help you until you get used to the job environment
3) If both of the above options do not work, try your other option of becoming a nun. But I must say, consider the pros and cons of a monastic life well before getting into it. Aren’t there people in your life who you are supposed to look after or who depend on you at least emotionally if not financially so that leaving them is not pleasant? Do you realize that monastic life is harsh? You have a tough schedule, you are mostly on your own, you have to eat what is offered to you, you do not have all the comforts you are used to etc.
Good luck!
I know you mentioned vitiligo as well and just feeling isolated from everyone. As someone with fullblown Body Dysmorphic Disorder and Social Anxiety Disorder, I can tell you firsthand it's the starting point and the solution; I have tried everything, and vipassana and focusing on anatta is the only thing that's given results, and rather extreme ones. That article is entirely what Buddhism is about; if someone were to fully realize everything that article said, they'd be enlightened.
If you want to talk to someone who's very familiar with this, feel free to PM me.
The system is undoubtedly flawed but it does a lot of good as well. It takes people who truly care about others to turn the system into what it's meant to be.
From the things you've said, it sounds like you should be getting yourself help first; I don't know you, but if your situation is really bad, you should be looking for a therapist who works with CBT and even consider medications, and hopefully look into what that article I linked to says a bit more and begin vipassana.
Thank you for sharing your honest post with us.
I think you should look at who you are and what you stand for. I am not sure you know. Buddhism and zen practice will teach you to see yourself as you see others and being scared of others is a way of seeing yourself as inferior to them which, odd as it sounds, is a form of self-obsession and ego mis-management. I suffered from anxiety, depression, bipolar, agoraphobia and they were all means to get the world to take care of me when I couldn't.
Secondly, think about your career once you're more balanced out. If oyu don't know your true worth you will never know that of another and how to help them see it.
I don't think that social workers have freaky 'powers' but I am a trainee psychotherapist myself and those who are afraid of having powers over others are actually afraid of being manipulated themselves.
Go easy on yourself,
Much love,
Sara