Welcome home! Please contact lincoln@icrontic.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take several days. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.
Are my seduction practices in conflict with Buddhism?
Hello
Well I'm new here and have been following Buddhism on and off for about 7 years now. When I say follow I mean I meditate, try to stay aware, try to change myself by becoming more patient, more loving etc etc etc. Its only very recently though that I've become consistant in my practice and have actually changed for the better. I feel that I've made a permanent habit now to practice everyday and do not wanna go back to my old ways.
However I'm confused about something. I'm a young man in my early 20's and of course, the biggest attachment I have is women. Now this is no problem because I am a layman, not a monk and am not ready to give up my attachment just yet. However, I have been practicing psychic seduction techniques and don't know if this is in conflict with my Buddhist practices.
What I mean is stuff lke intense, dynamic visualisation of the person I want to seduce, that sort of thing. Now I know some people consider this immoral but is this really any different to other forms of persuasion? I mean we are always using our words, looks, money etc to influence others, so is it really wrong to use the power of the mind?
I am not intending to hurt anyone. If I find out that a woman is already with another guy, I will not attempt to seduce her. I am not after a monogamous relationship, just fun. My personal code of ethics is this. I will not cheat on a woman or decieve her. If she feels the same way as me and is only after fun, then surely no real harm is done?
Yes there are selfish reasons behind this mainly, but I can also help these women in some way surely.
Many Buddhists talk about Psychic powers that can be used for good or evil so basically what I'm asking is this: Is using psyhic powers for seduction good, evil or neutral? I would've thought it's neutral but it's been bugging me since this morning.
Well I'm new here and have been following Buddhism on and off for about 7 years now. When I say follow I mean I meditate, try to stay aware, try to change myself by becoming more patient, more loving etc etc etc. Its only very recently though that I've become consistant in my practice and have actually changed for the better. I feel that I've made a permanent habit now to practice everyday and do not wanna go back to my old ways.
However I'm confused about something. I'm a young man in my early 20's and of course, the biggest attachment I have is women. Now this is no problem because I am a layman, not a monk and am not ready to give up my attachment just yet. However, I have been practicing psychic seduction techniques and don't know if this is in conflict with my Buddhist practices.
What I mean is stuff lke intense, dynamic visualisation of the person I want to seduce, that sort of thing. Now I know some people consider this immoral but is this really any different to other forms of persuasion? I mean we are always using our words, looks, money etc to influence others, so is it really wrong to use the power of the mind?
I am not intending to hurt anyone. If I find out that a woman is already with another guy, I will not attempt to seduce her. I am not after a monogamous relationship, just fun. My personal code of ethics is this. I will not cheat on a woman or decieve her. If she feels the same way as me and is only after fun, then surely no real harm is done?
Yes there are selfish reasons behind this mainly, but I can also help these women in some way surely.
Many Buddhists talk about Psychic powers that can be used for good or evil so basically what I'm asking is this: Is using psyhic powers for seduction good, evil or neutral? I would've thought it's neutral but it's been bugging me since this morning.
0
Comments
I've been thinking about this a lot. Let's say I use my body to attract women, I work hard at it by going to the gym, then is it any different if I work hard at my mind and use it for the same purpose? Not as a primary goal, just like the ultimate aim in life is not to satisfy our desires but help others, but we can still have fun along the way right?
I really don't understand why using nice clothes, hairstyles, words, body language etc to attract the opposite sex is considered normal but when people talk about using the power of the mind it becomes something weird, evil, or immoral. I know this is not what Buddhism is about but I'm asking this because Buddhism is so, so important to me, it has helped me during difficult times, because of Buddhism I am transforming into another person. I am more understanding, kind, patient, compassionate etc than I was before. It has done wonders for me and I do not want to go against it because it is more important than any girl. I also drink alcohol occasionaly and this according to the precepts is something I should undertake to avoid, but I don't think I'm going to hell for sipping a few cocktails, so would I go straight to hell for using my mind powers for purposes other than helping sentient beings?
So what I'm asking is, if I can use my mind to help others, is it okay, from a Buddhist perspective to use it for more worldly things too? As long as we don't intend to harm.
The Buddhist view of sex/relationships is very unclear to me at present.
You're intentions are the crucial thing. It's impossible for me to know what's driving your behavior, other than the obvious reproductive drive. I can't see your fears or desires or insecurities. Are you just a good looking friendly guy with a knack for picking up women? Or are you using sex to make up for some perceived lack? Or were you never able to have a relationship with a women as a child and now view them as objects? Is your question part of your natural moral development, or are you just beginning to recognize some deep seated problem? I have no way of knowing.
I think we should start by trying to be kind. Over time, if we are honest with ourselves about our mistakes, perhaps we can become better at kindness. What do you think?
The real problem is that you think it works, and you're doing it thinking you can magically force someone to be attracted to you. Obviously, if such a thing worked, that would be rather immoral, as it eliminates free will, don't you think? So the fact that you'd be willing to do that is the problem.
The fact that you're even posting this and seeking support for what you do tells me that you aren't so sure it's moral yourself. And since you're doubting it yourself, and although you may not intend harm, you're aware of the harm that comes from it. Same thing.
Then you wouldn't need to attempt to manipulate her mind, friend.
Spot the contradiction?
Buddhism is more important than "any girl" (read: laying someone you've reduced to legs, ass, and tits), but Buddhism is all about the importance of all sentient beings, including the girls you're seeing as objects to be used to fulfill your selfish sensual desires. Grab a sock (you can even draw a sexy
You are just BSing yourself when you say what you do is out of a desire to help all beings, as if you think you're Austin Powers or something.
My intentions are simple. I just have strong desires that need to be fulfilled, like most young men. My intentions aren't to hurt anyone, just to have some fun and friendship.
MVD
No I'm not sure whether it's morally right, which is why I'm asking.
I don't think it's taking away someones free will. When we see adverts on tv, they are also designed to influence us to buy a product, but ultimately we make our own choices. I see it as the same thing.
Hey I'm not saying I wanna do this to help sentient beings, this is cuz of my own selfish desires as a young man, but I guess I was looking for something to take away any possible guilt I may feel.
I don't wanna get into a debate of what works and what doesn't when picking up women cuz this is not a seduction forum, I am just searching for an answer as to whether influencing (not forcing or bending their will) is morally correct.
The media is disgusting. Not a good role model.
However, when someone sees an ad on tv, they're aware of it and they're capable of turning the tv or changing the channel. Put an ad on tv of you doing a sexy dance with a "call me" sign, then, if you'd like.
In any event, what you're talking about is still irrational, delusional, and harmful, if to no one else but yourself. What you're doing affects no one's mind but your own.
If you and a girl just want to have fun, then that's your business, do it responsibly. Try and do it a little more respectfully and honourably though, yeah? Like, by talking to her and treating her with respect, rather than seeing her as an object for your pleasure that you have the right to manipulate to suit your selfish desires?
There are a million ways to fulfill such desires without trying to psychically influence someone else's mind so you can get a quick lay. Mr. Sock is an excellent alternative. A woman who's already interested in a similar sort of relationship is another more appropriate alternative. Looking at things in the long run and considering what the Buddha taught of the nature of such desires and suffering is a good alternative, or even just a supplement to the other options.
Would it be morally correct to influence someone to, say, steal, or kill themselves, etc? Is it morally correct to influence one to fulfill YOUR desires?
Sit down, clear your mind, and ask yourself. But be honest.
What I'm talking about is something very similar to the law of attraction. There are many examples, people curing themselves of illness by visualising, weight lifting athletes being able to lift more weight because they pictured it clearly in their mind first etc. Even Tiger Woods visualises his golf game. So what I'm talking about is visualizing myself with the woman I'm trying to attract, and....you get the drift, not some voodoo spell or anything. Anyway, this energy is supposed to reach the woman and build some sort of connection. Sounds looney I know, but I honestly believe in this because so many times I've pictured a specific scene happening and it plays out in a very similar way. I've got quite a few examples of this.
I never thought about it that way, and yeah you do have a point, but a lot of the time people are not aware of certain things. For example, if you've ever read about hypnotic writing, you'll know that certain words can be used to influence others to buy a product. As a consumer you are unaware that these words have deliberately and carefully been placed in a certain way to get the reader to buy the product. Now you cannot take away someones free will with hypnotic writing, only influence them. This is selfish of the seller but they need to make money to make a living, and their intent is to make money, not harm people by making them attached to the videogames they are selling. I am totally against pressure tactics, lying, etc, but if the seller is doing an honest, ethical business and believes in their product, surely this is not an evil thing to do.
In the same way, I am under no illusions. I know that I am looking to fulfill my sensual desires. However, I also believe that I can show a woman a great time, I treat her with respect, care about her, respect her feelings etc.
You're not gonna believe me when I say this but I am a gentleman. I respect women, I don't treat them like my property, tell them I love them just to sleep with them etc. Being a jerk is something I am incapable of doing, and my earlier posts probably gave you the impression that I'm some sort of big ego womanising jerk. The only thing I am not ready for right now is commitment. Too many people rush into commitments and then people end up getting hurt.
Hey I don't wanna do it with my hand:rolleyes:
I don't think you can compare it to influencing someone to steal, kill etc but in either case you'll be happy to know that I'm gonna put my psychic seduction on hold. Better to be safe than sorry.
You know what, I should've given you guys a link so you know what on earth I'm talking about. I don't know if I'm allowed to post links but google psychic seduction 5 if you don't know what I mean.
Not even....
I've moved it to the Lotus Lounge.....
Enjoy.
The "law of attraction" works within your own mind, it affects you. You are trying to affect other people's minds and will. Completely different. You are frankly describing psychic voodoo nonsense whereas the law of attraction is very logical, simple, and straightforward: http://healing.about.com/cs/selfactualization/a/lawofattraction.htm
"When we focus on "having less" then we create that experience for ourselves. When we focus on "I hate my job" then we will never notice the aspects of our employment that might be satisfying. Basically, just wanting something isn't going to bring that to us when we continue to obsess on the not having of that something. All we will experience is "not having" and will be ultimately blocking our true desires.
The Law of Attraction works regardless if you are working at it or not. The problem is that we can unknowingly be attracting things that we don't want."
Pretty in sync with the Buddha's teachings, honestly, except he taught that sensual pleasures are impermanent and so ultimately dukkha when clung to, too, and not true happiness:
Not comparable in any way and further suggests that you're objectifying women.
Besides, you're talking about forcefully forming a connection with someone and removing free will: "Anyway, this energy is supposed to reach the woman and build some sort of connection. Sounds looney I know, but I honestly believe in this because so many times I've pictured a specific scene happening and it plays out in a very similar way. I've got quite a few examples of this."
You caught me. This is because, if you were, you'd be honest and up front with a woman, rather than try to manipulate her.
Liar.
I came here for answers not to be judged. I will have to deal with the consequences of my actions like everyone else, and I never claimed to be a saint, just a good guy at heart. Regardless of whether what we're talking about is wrong or not, I can sleep at night knowing that I never intended to hurt, decieve or cheat a woman just for my own desires.
I was leaning towards a certain viewpoint but still had doubts about what I was doing, hence the reason why I came here. I'm just trying to live my life and have fun without conflicting with the Buddhadharma or hurting anyone in the process, that's all. I'm not the disrespectful, manipulating, womanising jerk you make me out to be, but anyway. Peace.
I'm not judging you. I was commenting on an action and the motivation behind it. This particular action and motivation cannot be described as that of a gentleman. It can, however, be described as manipulative, selfish and disrespectful. We all, whether we like to admit it or not, have done things based on the same self-illusion, we're not all "good" (gentleman) and we're not all "bad" (manipulative, disrespectful, womanizing)... that's the whole point, really... and you asked for an opinion on this action, from a Buddhist perspective, and I gave you one. In fact, you knew the answers to your questions before you even posted this. Don't take it personally.
I have no objection to "having fun". What I think you should do is pay careful attention to your intentions and the results of your behavior. Over time, you'll get a better understanding of yourself and other people that will provide a better guide than anything I can tell you. In addition to mindfulness, the Buddha also taught kindness. Mindfulness and kindness are two good starting points for moral decisions.
Also, use condoms, and expect to get herpes. About 20% of the US population has it, and the percentage is growing. If you're having sex with multiple partners, you will probably have sex with a few people who are carrying the virus. Get blood work done periodically, and tell you partners if you have any STDs. Not telling your partners, or not getting bloodwork in order to avoid finding out about an infection is definitely harmful.
Oh, baby do I ever!!!
<object height="344" width="425">
<embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/pSpiqWVgi3I&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="344" width="425"></object>
You do half watch some shite
you crack me up.