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Ha ha ha
Oh I do love someone with a sense of fun especially when they can laugh at themselves. Laughter is quite healing. Anyone know any good Buddhist jokes, Here's a couple:
Why don't Buddhists vacuum in the corners?
Because they have no attachments.
How many Zen buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they are the light bulb.
His Holiness- "That's a Good one!"
Why don't Buddhists vacuum in the corners?
Because they have no attachments.
How many Zen buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they are the light bulb.
His Holiness- "That's a Good one!" 0
Comments
"Make me one with everything."
Buddhism is for the intelligentsia".
I thought the remark very deep, amusing and actually, quite true.
So it's a depressing disappointment to me that we are unable to come up with any more original jokes than these, which I think were circulating in the Buddha's time....:D
Can we try to invent some new ones?
But the 'taking that which is not given' rule does not apply, because they're freely readable on the internet....
A Catholic, a Muslim, and a Buddhist are discussing their beliefs about the afterlife:
The Catholic: "I will spend eternity in heaven worshipping the Lord."
The Muslim: "I will spend eternity in Paradise with 10,000 virgins."
The Buddhist (after meditating on the question):
"I will be reborn as a Muslim."
Two bankers meet on Wall Street:
"Hi Jim, how's things?
"Oh, not too bad....My son was made redundant though....2
"No Kidding!" replies Bill, "Mine too! But he's ok, he's started a course of intense meditation...."
"Really? asks Jim, "is he earning money?"
"No," shrugs Bill, "But it beats him sitting around and doing nothing....."
Says the Master to his pupil: "Do you understand that you don't really exist?"
Upon which the pupil replies: "To whom are you telling that?"
Dukkha Happens!
My friend gave me part two of this one...
When the Buddhist then asked for his change back, the vendor replied "change comes from within"
Each flower blossoms ten thousand times.
Each blossom has ten thousand petals.
You might want to see a specialist.
The Buddha says, There is no self.
So, maybe we're off the hook.
Palzang
A. Because Buddhists have no soul.
The Zen philosopher Basho once wrote: A flute with no holes is not a
flute, and a doughnut with no hole is a Danish.
Its amazing that the Buddha had such a grasp on the reality of
suffering without ever having to go to the DMV.
A Zen master once said to me, Do the opposite of whatever I tell you.
So I didn’t.
Palzang (the last joke of this entry)
ok that one just happened but this is the real joke
what was buddha doing sitting outside a painful back clinic smoking a joint?
medicating
to his door as a birthday present.
There is a knock at the door and the old man answers.
There stands a magnificent woman who wiggles in her tiny costume and says
"I'm here to offer you SUPer Sex!"
He thinks for a moment and responds:
"I'll take the soup."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You may think "How is this a Buddhist joke?"
I dunno.
But it's my contribution and I'm sticking with it.
VL
Palzang
Before you judge a man walk a mile in his shoes.
Then if you find you really don't like him you are a mile away and have his shoes.
"Do not walk behind me, I may not want to lead.
Do not walk in front of me I may not want to follow.
In fact, please go away and stop bothering me!"
"The Force is like Duct tape. It has a light side, a dark side & binds the universe together." Master Yoda.
A: He enters Nerdvana
What if you don't like his shoes?
cause his monks were all monkies
& all they did was throw poo
a poem a joke a poke a joem