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"How to disagree"
fivebells
Veteran
I found this essay on online disagreements, today. Seems pertinent.
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In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance that ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?"
"Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before you tell me, I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Test of Three."
"Test of Three?"
"That's correct," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my student, let's take a moment to test what you're going to say. The first test is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"
"No," the man replied, "actually I just heard about it."
"All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second test, the test of goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?"
"No, to the contrary..."
"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him even though you're not certain it's true?"
The man shrugged, a little embarrassed. Socrates continued, "You may still pass though because there is a third test, the filter of Usefulness.
Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?"
"Er....No, not really."
"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me at all?"
Good article! Thanks
The link that fivebells supplies in the opening post is good. However, I'd like to add a few more. There is probably an infinite number of questions one might ask oneself, but hey, I'd like this thread to continue on...
Before you voice your dissenting point, please take three steps:
1) Ask yourself what the post is actually saying. That is, what elements in it raise "red flags" or seem just wrong or overly dogmatic —or whatever? Reread the post at least once. You may have missed the point entirely. Some people really react too quickly with a hasty post.
2) Next ask yourself why these things bother you and go back and home in on the actual words the other person(s) used. This may stop your taking an argumentative posture in the first place and may make for a more profitable discussion of the ideas. From there, the fountain of real understanding may very well be unstopped. The three considerations of Truth, Goodness, and Usefulness that Fede points out in Post #4 above are good guides at this stage. Don't forget to look at the actual words, though, being careful of possible ambiguities and even a good-natured remark being taken out of context.
3) Please try to be as good natured as possible. I know we all forget this at times. Perhaps popping in the occasional word(s) like "sincere" or "interesting take" or "refreshingly original perspective that confuses me." Anyway, the thing is, not to be the unfriendly person like I find myself sometimes to be. Unfortunately, we sometimes come online when we're stressed by something and lose sight of how foolish we can get.
Whatever the Truth is, it doesn't need us. However, to come closer to It, we need to keep the channels of communication open by not venting on each other.