falling of the rails of discipline

TransientTom

hey hey, and aloha to all sangha i am 21 and currently live in england. I have been aware of buddhism as a religion for many many years, but never respected it or any other religion up until 8 or so months ago. I was once a firm atheist, dismissing all religions and making fun of those who followed. Yet now, I believe and try to follow many of the teachings in the dharma, yet i do not dismiss any other existing religion. All religions in effect cause a person to become compassionate and good, in the words of the dalai lama, each person will react to a religion in a unique way due mental disposition.

Anyway, getting back to my point, yes i believe in the teachings of buddhism, yes i have seen an improvement in me as a person since i have followed it, (i.e less selfish, calmer, more compassionate), but yet I have fallen off the rails. The biggest problem for me is meditation. I know it can take up to several years before some people see it as a help in their practice, but I cannot seem to grasp it at all. it is not only this, it is attachment to my ex, to material things, i just find it hard to conform to buddhism in this society.

I hope people can reply with constructive criticism or help of any sort thanks for your time, tom xx

Palzang

Sorry to disappoint, but Buddhism isn't a religion...

As for meditation, I would suggest stop trying to grasp it and just do it. It's not important that you understand it or have some goal in mind when you're doing it. Just sit. If thoughts arise, let them go. That's all!

Palzang

GeminiVI

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Health_applications_and_clinical_studies_of_meditation

Meditation and the brain

Mindfulness meditation and related techniques are intended to train attention for the sake of provoking insight. A wider, more flexible attention span makes it easier to be aware of a situation, easier to be objective in emotionally or morally difficult situations, and easier to achieve a state of responsive, creative awareness or "flow".[10]
One theory, presented by Daniel Goleman & Tara Bennett-Goleman[11] suggests that meditation works because of the relationship between the amygdala and the prefrontal cortex.[12] In very simple terms, the amygdala is the part of the brain that decides if we should get angry or anxious (among other things), and the pre-frontal cortex is the part that makes us stop and think about things (it is also known as the inhibitory centre).
The prefrontal cortex is very good at analyzing and planning, but it takes a long time to make decisions. The amygdala, on the other hand, is simpler (and older [13] in evolutionary terms). It makes rapid judgments about a situation and has a powerful effect on our emotions and behaviour, linked to survival needs. For example, if a human sees a lion leaping out at them, the amygdala will trigger a fight or flight response long before the prefrontal cortex responds.
But in making snap judgments, our amygdalas are prone to error[citation needed], such as seeing danger where there is none. This is particularly true in contemporary society where social conflicts are far more common than encounters with predators, and a basically harmless but emotionally charged situation can trigger uncontrollable fear or anger — leading to conflict, anxiety, and stress.[14]
Because there is a gap between the time an event occurs and the time it takes the amygdala to react, a skilled meditator may be able to intervene before a fight or flight response takes over, and perhaps even redirect it into more constructive or positive feelings.[citation needed]
Studies done by Yale, Harvard, Massachusetts General Hospital have shown that meditation increases gray matter in the brain and slows down certain brain deterioration. The experiment included 20 individuals with intensive Buddhist "insight meditation" training and 15 who did not meditate. The brain scan revealed that those who meditated have an increased thickness of gray matter in parts of the brain that are responsible for attention and processing sensory input. The increase in thickness ranged between .004 and .008 inches (3.175 x 10−6m - 6.35 x 10 −6m) and was proportional to the amount of meditation. The study also showed that meditation helps slow down brain deterioration due to aging.[15][16]

fivebells

Hi, Tom. Do you have a teacher? You might try attending some Buddhist groups in your area and raising these concerns there. Support from more experienced practitioners can often help.

Marmalade

Hello Tom!

From the sound of it, it seems like you might be expecting something when it comes to meditation. You don't necessarily find/experience anything new, but rather notice what was/is always there. Even by saying this, I'm putting ideas into your head about what meditation should be. This can be very distracting, because instead of sitting and observing and studying yourself, you start lookingfor the thoughts/feelings/experiences that you think you should be having.

It's probably a lot easier than you make it out to be. Just sit and watch your thoughts, feelings, and mental processes as they occur. Try to remember that everything is already in place and that, in a way, you're already doing it. Just sit back and enjoy the show!

The beautiful thing about meditation is that no one can tell you how to do it, it's completely your own thing.

Good luck!