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Victims of Biology
To my friends, I'm viewed as extremely lucky. Things just usually go my way. I seem to get all the easy classes and teachers, the right people get fired at work so that I'm promoted, I have unbelievable luck in the stock market whenever I buy stocks. So life is good!
But I'm generally luckless when it comes to romance. One problem I'm sure has afflicted everyone at some point or another; being liked by someone who you don't share the same feelings with.
It's actually much easier to deal with romance problems when your feelings are simply not reciprocated. You move on. But what about when someone has very real, romantic feelings for you and feel nothing in return? What do you say?
I'm not talking about incompatibility with personalities. Of course I get along with certain personality types better than others. But on rare occasions, I'll find a woman who is very similar to me personality-wise. We agree on stuff, enjoy the same things, have the same values. It would be a perfect match...but they are not attractive to me in the slightest.
It's cold, heartless biology. I can't escape the fact that as a male member of the human species, physical attraction is of prime importance to courtship. It's nothing personal, but I just cannot date or marry someone if I don't first find them attractive physically.
But how do I put that into words with people? Biology may be heartless, but I certainly am not. I can't just turn a girl away and tell her I think she's ugly or sub-par. I have to be much more diplomatic. But what are the words?
It's an unenviable situation to be in, and I'm in one of those right now. Just looking for the right words to explain it without totally lying.
But I'm generally luckless when it comes to romance. One problem I'm sure has afflicted everyone at some point or another; being liked by someone who you don't share the same feelings with.
It's actually much easier to deal with romance problems when your feelings are simply not reciprocated. You move on. But what about when someone has very real, romantic feelings for you and feel nothing in return? What do you say?
I'm not talking about incompatibility with personalities. Of course I get along with certain personality types better than others. But on rare occasions, I'll find a woman who is very similar to me personality-wise. We agree on stuff, enjoy the same things, have the same values. It would be a perfect match...but they are not attractive to me in the slightest.
It's cold, heartless biology. I can't escape the fact that as a male member of the human species, physical attraction is of prime importance to courtship. It's nothing personal, but I just cannot date or marry someone if I don't first find them attractive physically.
But how do I put that into words with people? Biology may be heartless, but I certainly am not. I can't just turn a girl away and tell her I think she's ugly or sub-par. I have to be much more diplomatic. But what are the words?
It's an unenviable situation to be in, and I'm in one of those right now. Just looking for the right words to explain it without totally lying.
0
Comments
If the situation is as you described, with no earlier representation of interest from you, then "Sorry, I'm not interested" is more than enough.
As long as they aren't hairy...
Love & Peace
Joe
So she was ugly, but you thought she was beautiful on the inside? That's well and good, but I can't will myself into finding people attractive. They either are or they're not. I'm skeptical that inward beauty can manifest itself in biological attraction...at least for men. I believe it is quite possible for women.
Love & Peace
Joe
One thing to remember is that we all end up old farts. But if her appearance makes you feel negative I wouldn't string her along and then dump her later when you can't take it anymore.
Love & Peace
Joe