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I have Anger
I am feeling a lot of anger about some things in life and I don't know what to do.
When I read that America has a population of 5.6% of the world but owns 50% of the world's riches, it makes me feel an intense hatred.
I think about the people of Haiti who suffer in extreme poverty and I think about the 1% in America who'd rather spend their millions on a new boat rather than let people in the streets die from starvation.
I feel hatred towards them. A vibrant and intense hatred.
I'm afraid I will eventually resort to violence. I think so many people will never become aware, that they just can't be reached with words.
I come to hope that the oppressed will use power redistribute wealth.
It hurts me so much to see how we treat other people. It hurts me. It hurts so much.
I try to meditate but remaining idle makes me angry at myself. Some things can't contemplated, some things can't be accepted.
I am tempted not to read too much about the injustices in the world because it feels like it's too much to bear and it will sap my sanity.
I watch those stars at the golden globe wear their ribbons and I find myself hating them. How futile they are, thinking wearing a stupid ribbon means anything. They're hoarding millions... It's an insult that those people who have so much dare pretend they care about the suffering of those less fortunate.
I'd like to wake up to a world who doesn't believe entertainment is more important than just about anything. I feel ashamed of my specie.
What can I do with this anger?
I will end this by admitting there are some who are rich who contribute to those less fortunate. Sorry for the rant, it is negative I will admit. I have trouble coming to terms with the way those who live in poverty are left to themselves.
When I read that America has a population of 5.6% of the world but owns 50% of the world's riches, it makes me feel an intense hatred.
I think about the people of Haiti who suffer in extreme poverty and I think about the 1% in America who'd rather spend their millions on a new boat rather than let people in the streets die from starvation.
I feel hatred towards them. A vibrant and intense hatred.
I'm afraid I will eventually resort to violence. I think so many people will never become aware, that they just can't be reached with words.
I come to hope that the oppressed will use power redistribute wealth.
It hurts me so much to see how we treat other people. It hurts me. It hurts so much.
I try to meditate but remaining idle makes me angry at myself. Some things can't contemplated, some things can't be accepted.
I am tempted not to read too much about the injustices in the world because it feels like it's too much to bear and it will sap my sanity.
I watch those stars at the golden globe wear their ribbons and I find myself hating them. How futile they are, thinking wearing a stupid ribbon means anything. They're hoarding millions... It's an insult that those people who have so much dare pretend they care about the suffering of those less fortunate.
I'd like to wake up to a world who doesn't believe entertainment is more important than just about anything. I feel ashamed of my specie.
What can I do with this anger?
I will end this by admitting there are some who are rich who contribute to those less fortunate. Sorry for the rant, it is negative I will admit. I have trouble coming to terms with the way those who live in poverty are left to themselves.
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Comments
What I don't understand either is that here in America, we have people who go hungry. Yes, I know that others worldwide go hungry, but in our land of plenty, there are those who go without.
If you really feel like you will honestly hurt somebody, you should go and speak to a counselor. Whether that be a priest, preacher, swami, or psychologist.
If you want to do something about it, do what our family does. We donate money, time, and blood. We also loan money through kiva.org. When the loan is repayed, we loan out the money again.
Nine - there will always be the "haves" and the "have-nots", unfortunately.
To change the world, we have to change ourselves. Please, once again, if you honestly feel violence, talk to somebody. Even this forum.
Dear friend
If we do not have peace in our own hearts, our ability to contribute to the peace that we may want in this world will be limited.
This is why some of us practice.
You say it is hard to meditate, but I assure you, dear friend, it is much harder to not meditate, if it is truly peace you wish for in this world.
One of my own koans coming into Buddhism many years ago was: how could the anti-abortionist 'pro' life kill another in the name of loving life.
You see, it is possible, as you have come to see yourself, that until we are ourself somewhat cultivated in peace and in genuine compassion, it will be too easy to become what we may claim to hate.
You are in a good place, please meditate, please join a Sangha, a teacher, and be patient with your love and with your self.
With best wishes,
Abu
You will feel more at ease and authentic if you create something beautiful from this hatred.
Goodd luck, really try, because you can do it!
Yes, I will use this energy to help others and their suffering.
I already sponsor a child and sent money to Haiti. I will start giving blood.
I have to use this energy to build something, I agree.
One thing they say is that you can't fix samsara. We need to uproot the tendencies of samsara rather than try to fix it in some respects. Not to give up and let these problems continue but with the intelligence that we recognize that the problem is the ignorance, greed, and anger.
You can live in the world how you choose to live. You can be generous and help people. You can work to change attitudes (skillfully). You can work with your anger. By creating positive karma I hope that you can get to a better place than how you feel right now.
Up until almost 2 years ago, I was a middle classed American who would have been called a do gooder. I worked in Detroit and saw people with needs. Being a hospice nurse, I saw needs that others wouldn't begin to imagine. I felt the hospice should be helping and their philosophy was different being a for profit organization. So at times, I took my own money, time and resources to help others. Many that I helped felt I owed them more (family members who didn't know I was getting the stuff out of my own pocket), because I didn't tell them that I was getting most of this stuff. For a dying person, I would do anything to make their last days comfortable. Many didn't appreciate it (the family members, not the patients, need to clarify that immediately) and some made sure to get me in trouble for not giving more.
My colleagues and supervisors felt that if they raised a paltry amount of money for someone they were doing something. There were some patients with extreme needs that required immediate funding and if I had it, I gave it to the patients and tried to go to stores and get them to give it to me at a discount (anything would help). I was less angry at the retail stores as it was a business.
I'm beginning to realize that it is a double edged sword. I love to help others, but it also fed my ego and made me the "good guy" among people who weren't as "compassionate" or "caring" as I. I let it inflate my ego and enrage me when others did almost nothing. Maybe it was the best they could do. My partner and I have no children. I had just had a windfall of a large amount and could afford to help some of these people with more expensive items they needed. I made sure they needed them also, not just a "brand new flat screen TV" but socks, underwear, sheets and the like. Some care items that I knew worked were not provided by the hospice and I would pay for them myself. But I also realized how superior I felt to the agency. The patients used them like they were going to materialize for free all the time, because I didn't want them to feel they owed me anything. I honestly felt grateful to be able to help the dying. But I found myself trying to explain that these care items were not meant to be used liberally as it wouldn't help any way. Plus they would run out and the agency may not have anymore when they needed it.
I've been doing the Metta Bhavana toward myself and some of the others who were involved in this organization. Some of my arrogance cost me that job. My anger I couldn't hide and it made me bitter. I want to clarify that it wasn't all my fault, but in retrospect I can see my side of the story. I wasn't St. Jerbear working for Beelzebub, Mara and the demons of the 7 levels of hell. I was someone trying to help others who didn't understand all of the rules going in. I am going to find someone to talk to this about in detail.
Needless to say for the first few months after I was terminated (for unjust reasons, since I was trying to transfer and get away from these people as I knew we couldn't work together, but they found a way to do so), I wanted blood. I wanted to let every nurse, LPN/LVN, and aide in the area know not to work for this place. I wanted families to know to go elsewhere. I thought of many evil things to do to the management. I decided losing my nursing license over what I wanted to do not worth it. I seethed for a while. I did more to hurt me than the agency as I was being eaten up inside.
Some of those people I use when I say the Metta Bhavana and wish them well. It may take a while to let go of the anger but it won't help me and it won't help me help others. Even writing this I feel lighter as I recognized some things about myself I didn't know was there. I've decided that the most revolutionary thing I can do is show them compassion and kindess. I don't want to be someone looking to get even or make money to cover up the hurt or emptiness I feel inside because helping someone is quite fulfilling to me. I may be unable to do that anymore because of my health, but there is always a way to help someone else if your looking for it.
I've ranted a bit myself here but remember to be kind to yourself and others until you can work with this anger to help others. You are worth more than hurting those more fortunate. Many do try to help others. It's those who really can do alot they do nothing that you could say the Metta Bhavana for. How about starting with some celebrity you think is the worst offender and use them as the person you have trouble with. Good luck with this journey
A quick search to check your figures revealed this. The US total household debt is approximately $57 trillion dollars, not including unfunded retirement/medical. That is around $186,717 of debt for each man, woman and child.
Total US assets were approximately $50 trillion in 2004 before the present real estate crash and depression.
The US is effectively bankrupt. China is the rising star if you want to talk about worldly wealth.
Check it out for yourself.
It has been the experience of this creature that anger is usually the result of illusion or misconceptions or unquenched desire.
The way to functionally deal with anger is to push it aside and open to the underlying emotion. I suggest Pema Chodron teachings for opening to ourselves.
Interesting discussion!
I used 2 be very angry - almost volcanic at times!
Meditation can help a lot - and cultivating compassion 4 all creatures is also excellent advice.
Here is a piece I found recently -
http://buddhism.about.com/od/basicbuddhistteachings/a/anger.htm
Namaste & best of luck
I just want you to know that I had a similar experience way back in 92' and so I could feel your pain reading that, but I sure do give you a ton of credit for being able to transfer that energy into compassion and kindness(I actually eventually turned to Christianity at the time to deal with my pain - had a similar effect for me I think). Anyway here are some more quotes from Buddha that I think can be a further help to all of us(including the OP).
"In a controversy the instant we feel anger we have already ceased striving for the truth, and have begun striving for ourselves."
"Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule."
"Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without."
1. Something to the effect that our enemies can be our greatest teachers. What can we learn from the uncaring billionaires? Plenty. Expound on that...
2. If you are really concerned that X/Y/Z is up on a stage wearing ribbons and doesn't do enough for humanity, write them a letter. You'll feel better about the issue, and you may influence their decisions to do more good.
namaste,
brian
Though yes you shouldn't act on negative emotion or energy, especially in an act of violence, but I don't see anything particularly wrong with thought out and caring necessary violence, mental or physical. We aren't jains...
"He has done that wrong, being subject to anger, should I too follow him, making my mind subject to anger? Is it not foolish to imitate him? He harboring his hatred destroys himself internally. Why should I, on his account, destroy my reputation?"
Lots of good stuff on anger and other emotions at this site:
http://www.thubtenchodron.org/DealingWithEmotions/index.html
Shalom and Hugs
Palzang
Great article in the recent issue of Tricycle by Pema Chodron about dealing with unwanted emotions. I may not be right, but I got from it that we should accept any emotion as it comes. Not to act on it, but accept that it is. When you fight an emotion, you give it more power was my understanding. Will reread the article and tell all which issue it is.
These strong feelings come usually from a series of misconceptions about the way things work (including your own feelings). If this rage is too strong you might want to attack the beliefs that support it.
First of all let's deal with your behavior. "I am angry, so I must be violent". There is the problem here of letting our emotions throw us in the fire, because we are so used to feeding them. I would use an analogy of Pema Chodron here and say it is like we have this hash that we are old enough to scratch, but not old enough to understand that scratching it makes things worse.
Honey I am sorry to say, but you could be a Buddhist monk and you would STILL have uncomfortable feelings. The way to deal with them is not by feeding them by letting them control us, but learning to accept that we are subject to suffering. The way we tend to live our lives right now is that we DON'T accept suffering. We feel it and we wanna run from it, when instead we should be open to suffering. The more open you are to accept it, gladly even, the less detrimental effect it will have on you.
It is like having a surgery, you will be cut open and whatnot, you will feel pain, but it will be good for you. Buddhism is like that, so if you want to make steady progress you have better brace yourself, because the Buddhist lotus is born out of fire, not water ;-)
I have more things to say, but maybe later.
I for one can't help to feel pity towards the wasteful. One who cannot achieve happiness without using his money is a spiritual cripple.
And as the others here have said, anger and violence solve nothing. Why waste your energy on someone who doesn't deserve it?
I hail out of Norway by the way, one of the richest countries there is in terms of
capita / population. I also live in one of the richest neighbourhoods in Oslo, so i'm living right next to some of the richest and most powerful men around here, and know quite a few of their families. Most aren't greedy or wasteful, but simply hard working. Quite nice people once you get to know them too.
Use your anger to do something about poverty and injustice. Use it as a stepping stone to helping unfortunate people. Understand the anger at its' roots. Then it may serve you to grow as a human being and become more aware. Recognize anger as a beautiful part of you that is rich in potential for change.
According to the Index of Global Philanthropy 2008, the U.S. in 2006 ranked 4th in per capita giving (government/private/remittance combined) globally for international assistance, based on population of approx. 305 million.
On a per capita basis, the U.S. dollars equaled $468/person, as opposed to Norway's no. 1 ranking at $768/person. Of course, Norway's population is much smaller, under 5 million.
The big difference was that for Norway, more than $600 of the $768 was generated through government-driven assistance with a small fraction (less than $25 per capita) through private giving. The same balance was found for the 2nd and 3rd ranking countries.
When it came to the U.S., the private giving numbers appeared to be about 1.5 times the U.S. government spending. And about $230 of the U.S. $434 came from remittances (individuals coming to the U.S. for jobs and sending money home to their families).
But when you looked at the numbers on a dollar basis, the U.S. was ranked first, giving just under $130 billion to global assistance and more than 50% of that money came from private foundations and individuals. The next highest ranking country was the UK at $20 billion, and there and in all other countries ranked, less than 10% of the dollars came from private giving.
I recognize that this in no way equalizes the volume of U.S. wealth vs. giving, if one is looking for the world to be totally fair. But it also doesn't say to me that the U.S. is made up of uncaring individuals who would all rather buy boats than help other people. There's a big gray area in there. There is a lot of silent giving.
For me personally, this would challenge me to help make our own people aware of the per capita giving in other countries and challenge ourselves to meet and exceed those levels. Often, I find that our seeming "lack of caring" is more related to "lack of awareness." I know on a local level, I see people step up their giving all the time when made aware of a problem, and especially when made aware of what others are doing to assist.
This is a matter of perspective to me. I don't know how much I can do to change the world, but I can certainly change myself and possibly impact my corner of it.
It was quite insightful for me.. and I felt the reading itself was smooth and enjoyable (:
Very cool avatar!