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Metta Bhavana in Action
Jerbear
Veteran
I was having some problems with someone that I was trying to have as a sponsor in a 12 step program. Things I said seemed to irritate this person. I tried to be as polite as possible, but they felt I never listened. I would make a little joke and they would yell at me. At first, I thought maybe I wasn't taking things seriously. But then, it started to feel like I was being mistreated. I didn't speak to the person for a few days to give us space as also they had some personal tragedies.
I found myself getting angrier, so I added them to my metta bhavana practice for when you needed a person you were having a difficult time with. After a week, things began to quiet a bit inside, but I decided to let this person know it wasn't working out. I emailed them asking them if they wanted to hit a meeting and have coffee afterwards. Since I didn't answer a phone call this person made yesterday, they informed me they no longer wanted to be my sponsor (and by the tone friend either). Not exactly sure about that:wtf:, but I let them know I respected their wishes.
The good news. I kept my cool. I didn't lose my temper. I continued to wish for lovingkindness for this person and then when I got this email, I felt so relieved that I did what I thought was most beneficial for me! I need to keep this person as a difficult person for a while as not all the anger is gone, but I do know that I can maintain lovingkindness and control toward someone that I am angry with even with all that is going on right now in my own life. So whether you think it works or not sometimes, meditation does work!
I found myself getting angrier, so I added them to my metta bhavana practice for when you needed a person you were having a difficult time with. After a week, things began to quiet a bit inside, but I decided to let this person know it wasn't working out. I emailed them asking them if they wanted to hit a meeting and have coffee afterwards. Since I didn't answer a phone call this person made yesterday, they informed me they no longer wanted to be my sponsor (and by the tone friend either). Not exactly sure about that:wtf:, but I let them know I respected their wishes.
The good news. I kept my cool. I didn't lose my temper. I continued to wish for lovingkindness for this person and then when I got this email, I felt so relieved that I did what I thought was most beneficial for me! I need to keep this person as a difficult person for a while as not all the anger is gone, but I do know that I can maintain lovingkindness and control toward someone that I am angry with even with all that is going on right now in my own life. So whether you think it works or not sometimes, meditation does work!
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