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Jealousy: Men vs. Women (vs. study results)
A recent study was published concerning the difference in how jealous men are versus women. (More info at http://www.psychologicalscience.org/media/releases/2010/levy.cfm.)
I have a hypothesis to propose, and would like some feedback.
A man is more jealous of the sexual relations their long-term female partner has had than the woman is jealous of the man's past relationships. Does anyone disagree that this is normally the case?
If that is the case, I propose it is in the difference of the meaning of those sexual relationships that is the root cause. Men tend to seek out meaningless sexual relationships (as a tendency, not a rule) while women tend to seek out an emotional attachment.
If a man fears these perceived attachments that may exist as a possible cause of his loss of said long-term relationship, jealousy is born of that fear. I would say women experience the same thing, but just to a lesser extent as they know most sexual relationships a man has in his lifetime have no meaning or attachment.
Comments?
I have a hypothesis to propose, and would like some feedback.
A man is more jealous of the sexual relations their long-term female partner has had than the woman is jealous of the man's past relationships. Does anyone disagree that this is normally the case?
If that is the case, I propose it is in the difference of the meaning of those sexual relationships that is the root cause. Men tend to seek out meaningless sexual relationships (as a tendency, not a rule) while women tend to seek out an emotional attachment.
If a man fears these perceived attachments that may exist as a possible cause of his loss of said long-term relationship, jealousy is born of that fear. I would say women experience the same thing, but just to a lesser extent as they know most sexual relationships a man has in his lifetime have no meaning or attachment.
Comments?
0
Comments
This really is of no consequence here, because Buddhist practise doesn't differentiate between the sexes, and all discussion of the above is really related to unhealthy clinging and attachment. Something we really are actually working to rid ourselves of, not concentrate or focus upon.
We actually find discussions of this kind fairly irrelevant, not to say mildly amusing..... even those amongst us in relationships, are not working on these kinds of levels.
Try a website called "Armchair Advice" or "Loveshack". You'll get more interest.
Truly you will.
best of luck.
I apologize for my error.
(Those who have previously come to 'convert', bait and antagonise have usually met with a mysterious and unexplained 'death'.....:wow:
I'm not saying this to sound 'superior' or holier-than-thou. I actually do appreciate I might be coming across that way, and it's not intended.
But because this is what you might call a specifically-focussed forum, we would probably discuss this topic with a view to actually abandoning such premises, as opposed to examining them.
It's rather like going into a forum dedicated to growing orchids, and asking them whether people think plastic flowers are better than silk ones....
I'm sure in the right environment, the question and discussion would be very pertinent, animated and productive. I'm just not sure this is it.
Thanks for understanding.....
Just as an aside (and not that you'll meet a mysterious and unexplained death -
Post #6 - done.
One thing I am unfailingly right about, is that I'm often wrong......
Second, people who want sex without emotional relationships tend to seek partners who want the same thing. Having sex with people who want relationships tends to create entanglements, and lying creates problems of its own. So the count of men having sex without emotional relationships must be roughly equal to the count of women having sex without emotional relationships.
The women I've talked to about this take their partners' infidelities in stride because they themselves have experience with casual sex and their _own_ experience tells them that casual sex doesn't threaten a long term emotional bond. I would have to say that women who don't have personal experience with casual sex are less likely to accept it in their partners. I think a weakness of your theory is that you are attributing a belief towards women while assuming that women don't have experience that would support the belief. Generally, both males and females feel some threat from both emotional and physical infidelity, but we tend to be more accepting of things we've done ourselves and discovered didn't destroy the relationship.
By way of example, I once had a girlfriend who had a couple of BDSM lesbian relationships before we met. This is a lifestyle in which women routinely engage in sex and sex play with their friends' partners.