Howdy, Stranger!

It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!

Sign In Register
Examples: Monday, today, last week, Mar 26, 3/26/04
Welcome home! Please contact lincoln@icrontic.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take several days. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.

Lurv...

Love-N-PeaceLove-N-Peace Veteran
edited March 2010 in General Banter
The best feeling in the world for me, and I haven't even had a proper relationship yet! My question is, does Buddhism have any advise, information, or the such, or relationships and luv? I've heard about the attachment thing but does it apply to a relationship? And if so how does it apply?
Love & Peace
Joe

Comments

  • Quiet_witnessQuiet_witness Veteran
    edited January 2010
    Joe,

    The feelings of "Love" have taught me more than most other feelings I have experienced in this life. Love can be quite the rollercoaster and these feeling are still difficult to comprehend.

    My advice, live and enjoy your naivety to these feelings while it last. When you do experience a "proper relationship" (whatever that is) don't get attached to the feelings but realize that the highs and lows are as temporary as other feelings (just more polarized/extreme).
  • Love-N-PeaceLove-N-Peace Veteran
    edited January 2010
    Thanks QW :)
  • littlelegslittlelegs
    edited February 2010
    Love is a wonderful feeling , i think like everything else we have to follow the ebb and flow . I have previosuly stayed in relationships that were not right because i did not want to accept that they were over causing myself alot of unhappiness , ironically enough when i finally excepted that things have to run their course and i cannot contol a relationship or my own fate i met someone and this was the first relationship id been in that id adopted this new philosophy to go with the flow and this has been the one to last 6 years !
  • AnupassīAnupassī
    edited February 2010
    The suttas have always advised that sensual lust is a hindrance, a defilement, and generally a confusing mental state. I personally don't feel that the emotional exclusivity of a romantic relationship is anything beneficial to the mind or to apprehending the Deathless. It's raw sukkha, which is, after all, just the other face of dukkha. The Buddhadhamma is not the pursuit of ecstatic pleasure: it is the knowing of peace, stillness, and relinquishment.

    "How blissful it is, for one who has nothing. Those who are wise are people with nothing. See how they suffer, those who have something, people bound in mind with people." Ud 2.6
  • Love-N-PeaceLove-N-Peace Veteran
    edited March 2010
    I'm reading a book called The Art of Happiness by Howard C Cutler helped by his interviews with the Dalai Lama and it has just touched upon the subject of love, it shows people who are in a relationship have better health and a happier life... I think love is a very important aspect of somebody's life. Love makes the world go round, metaphorically speaking... ;)

    Love & Peace
    Jellybean
  • AnupassīAnupassī
    edited March 2010
    The most peaceful people I know of are all celibate. Including myself. :D

    Edit: And the Dalai Lama, too!
  • distortedchilddistortedchild
    edited March 2010
    LoveNPeace wrote: »
    it shows people who are in a relationship have better health and a happier life...
    I disagree, some relationships are ... really bad. If you are in a healthy relationship than yes you will be happier.
  • Quiet_witnessQuiet_witness Veteran
    edited March 2010
    Anupassī wrote: »
    The most peaceful people I know of are all celibate. Including myself. :D

    Edit: And the Dalai Lama, too!

    Being celibate has as much to do with peacefulness as does a sexual activity (not much). Being peacful is something all should strive to accomplish, celibacy is the road for some, not all, but peace is the path all should choose.
  • Love-N-PeaceLove-N-Peace Veteran
    edited March 2010
    Yes, of course a healthy relationship, a bad relationship'll just make you unhappier. And Anupassi, a relationship isn't all about sex :eek: *I say that in the way you knock a chocolate bar off of the shelf at the shop and you say to your friend; Fred what have you done? In the sort of blaming it on them but jokingly so you're actualy not...* Honestly though in a working relationship sex isn't the biggest conponent (I imagine you're all very well aware of that), in the first place I never meant sex :o

    Love & Peace
    Jellybean
  • Love-N-PeaceLove-N-Peace Veteran
    edited March 2010
    And I agree fully with QW
  • AnupassīAnupassī
    edited March 2010
    LoveNPeace wrote: »
    Yes, of course a healthy relationship, a bad relationship'll just make you unhappier. And Anupassi, a relationship isn't all about sex :eek: *I say that in the way you knock a chocolate bar off of the shelf at the shop and you say to your friend; Fred what have you done? In the sort of blaming it on them but jokingly so you're actualy not...* Honestly though in a working relationship sex isn't the biggest conponent (I imagine you're all very well aware of that), in the first place I never meant sex :o

    Love & Peace
    Jellybean

    You'll forgive my cynicism, won't you? :D
  • NamelessRiverNamelessRiver Veteran
    edited March 2010
    I've heard about the attachment thing but does it apply to a relationship? And if so how does it apply?

    Love: "I love you and want you to be happy"
    Attachment: "I love and want you to make me happy"
  • DhammaDhatuDhammaDhatu Veteran
    edited March 2010
    The Buddha taught the best love is mutual. The Buddha did not teach self sacrifice.

    About relationships, the Buddha taught here.

    About loving oneself, the Buddha taught here.

    About mutuality, the Buddha taught here.

    :)
  • KikujiroKikujiro
    edited March 2010
    NamelessRiver wrote: »
    Love: "I love you and want you to be happy"
    Attachment: "I love and want you to make me happy"

    Thanks for that. It's brilliantly straight.
  • Love-N-PeaceLove-N-Peace Veteran
    edited March 2010
    Thanks everyone, lots of great information :) And I'm glad you took my joke well anupasi! I was worried the explanation was far too confudling.

    Love & Peace
    Jellybean
Sign In or Register to comment.