Mixing buddhism into your life

Now-Is-reality

Often times it easy to forget to cultivate compassion, have patience, not judge, to be kind, etc, to the people and for the things that are going on around us in our daily lives. It is easy to respond to an egotistical friend in anger, to judge our bosses motives, to snap at our children or parents in frustration, amongst the many things.

Being buddhist now-a-days can be rough! We have busy jobs, needy families, expactant friends, hectic commutes, never-ending bills, etc., it can be hard to practice and be mindful of our practice as well as our actions. So my question then is, how does buddhism fit into your everyday lives? What do you have to do to slow down and realize your actions, to stop and think of the other person, etc. What have you learned, how has your practice developed and changed to suit your life and what is going on? Are you constantly mindful, or do you try to be? Or maybe it is easy for you, and mixing buddhism into your lives is something that is easy. I would love to hear your guys responces. Through good expirience and mixing; or bad, and often hectic ones.

Jeffrey

I think the suffering that comes from thinking it is be against the world is bound to erupt. Daily. Whether I am struggling with body discomfort (mental illness related) or else my meditation is dissapointing or even if my video game is boring and I am at loose ends to find something that feels good.

This suffering reminds to practice. Which for me is to just have confidence that the suffering is just a passing collection of thoughts that has come into my awareness. Just like any other little storm on the cushion. Same thing happens in my day.

It is motivation to practice because I want to align myself with the teachings and forge strong karmic connections towards tendencies of awakening. Letting thoughts be in the space of my awareness. At my death I plan to practice that way and just let the thoughts and feelings come and go in the space of my awareness.

comicallyinsane

I get my best practice done in the bathroom. While I'm in there I can close my eyes and refocus my thoughts. Now of days it's one of the only places one can be alone.

RayfieldNeel

My kids are the highlight of my life...and one of my biggest obstacles to practice. The volume and frequencies that emanate from 2 young daughters is amazing, and they NEVER...STOP... TALKING, singing, chanting, cheering, screaming, squealing, etc. I know that it's normal, and I try to soak it up before they enter their teen years and want nothing to do with me. But the constant chaos will often dismantle my mindfulness. This is my challenge.

Staying mindful in traffic, my work environment, during daily tasks, etc, is noticeably easier for me.

Aurelius

I try and use little cues in everyday life to remind me to be present. Brushing your teeth, showering or doing the dishes are good everyday practices to try and work some informal mindfulness into.

The hardest times for me is at work when you have a bunch of rowdy co-workers to contend with though... Got no ideas there as yet.

Nirvana

Just to "Be the Witness" is all that is required, in peace, acceptance, forgiveness, forbearance, and in love.

I don't think any -ISM can truly engulf that.

BE a buddha, not an ism-ist.

FoibleFull

I find it difficult to be mindful, especially when I am at work. Sometimes, though, I remember to pull up that silence that meditation brings, and I am able to carry it MOST BRIEFLY until the next piece of paper demands attention! I find the Heart Sutra mantra most marvelous for bringing mindfulness to the fore, but I have not learned to carry it far into my next task.

Perhaps the easiest time is when I am physically ill or in pain -- something that occurs increasingly as I age! -- and I am able to pull up an awareness of impermanence and observation and letting go into my Present. It is similar to the experience of taking a trip to a place I've never been before, just sitting back and watching the scenery go by, wondering what will happen next (this works best when you're in an ambulance or in the Emergency Room).

Somewhat easy is when someone is agitated or upset ... my attention is pulled in and focused on the situation, and it is easy to generate compassion and let go of my own ego-defenses. Family members are a good place to start, and spouses are most excellent. Work too ... one of my co-workers is given to screaming fits and accusations ... she is our "tea boy" and I must confess that despite the fact that I value the lessons she brings, I am nonetheless very pleased when she is off at the other office location!

Periodically, through every day, as I watch the rise and fall of my emotions and thoughts I see my foibles and flaws, and realize that we are all in the same boat, all deluded and ignorant, all worthy of respect and love.

MindfulMe

In my life, I took the steps to remove things that were not contributing to my happiness and spiritual growth, and adding things that were positive.

For example, there are people who intentionally take lower paying jobs that allow them to have more family time and less stress. This is a very positive change for that person.

As for "hectic commutes", perhaps you merely need to change your perspective to bring about positive changes in your life? I use to HATE my long drives into work. I spend close to 3 hours going to and from the office and until I realized that this time could be spent in a positive way, it took a real toll on my mood. Now, I use driving time to be mindful, relax and perhaps even enjoy and dharma talk or other education mp3/cd.

The reality is this: We have all that we need inside of us. Your job, family, bills, friends are external factors that either positively or negatively influence our mind. If you take two people in the same situation, you may have one person who can't stand it and another who is enjoying it thoroughly. The difference is the perception of that situation in the minds of those individuals.

Buddhism has helped me greatly in enhancing my personal and family life.

I wish you all the happiness and joy that you seek

RayfieldNeel

MindfulMe wrote: »

Now, I use driving time to be mindful, relax and perhaps even enjoy and dharma talk or other education mp3/cd.

I do this too! I can't imagine my commute without my podcasts; Audio Dharma, talks by Thich Nhat Hanh, Pema Chodron, etc, This Week in Tech, Diggnation, This American Life, etc..

Kundo

I read this with an ironic smile on my face because I started out being very mindful and trying to live each day with the Dhamma firmly at the foremost of my mind. But real life soon slaps you back to reality and then the real challenge sets in.

I found myself wistfully wishing for more time to slow down and get back "in touch" with my Buddha self and not be such an "armchair Buddhist". Now I am currently suffering heart palpitations and headaches and the like while the doctors decipher my ECG. I have nothing BUT time now as I have to slow right down and do things mindfully and in awareness.

Be careful what you wish for and all that huh?

- Raven

RichardH

After a time, practice takes over your life completely, it swallows everything. There is only Dharma, not "Buddhism" in the sense of having monomania, but practice. When you get sucked into some narrative in your head, its like having a seed stuck in your teeth, you notice it. Even those really heavy karmic issues like concern for your childs welfare do not blot out that basic body-mind sensory field. You just dont belief the stories any more. This is a gradual thing, a kind of wearing out, like the story of the boy who cried wolf. The beauty of these practices and skills developed over centuries is that they work if you do them. The occasional fireworks dont seem to be the point.

RayfieldNeel

I've noticed over time (over a year of honestly trying to integrate mindfulness into my life) that the time between when the stories start and when the noticing happens has shortened. Sometimes it even happens fast enough for me to prevent myself from saying something profoundly stupid!

Sometimes not.

RichardH

RayfieldNeel wrote: »

Sometimes it even happens fast enough for me to prevent myself from saying something profoundly stupid!

Sometimes not.

I haven't had that happen for a loooong time! Like since this morning. :dunce:

fivebells

Post #11 was great, Richard.

RichardH

fivebells wrote: »

Post #11 was great, Richard.

Speaking of crying wolf..... Thanks Five Bells. I guess if one blabs enough something usefull pops out now and then out.:D

Now-Is-reality

Thanks everyone for the posts. I am still a beginner in buddhism. Often times I will get through my day and look back and wonder "Was I really being mindful today?" And the answer is normally no. At the beginning of my practice I was more mindful, but as Dhammachick was saying... I got caught up in "real" life and soon was having to remember to come back to my practice, rather than living life around my practice as I had been doing earlier in my practice.
I too liked your post Richard, thanks for you insight!
Anyone have any tips on staying mindful and living your practice, rather than having the need to come back to it?

Thanks
Ashley

MaxH

Now-Is-reality wrote: »

Anyone have any tips on staying mindful and living your practice, rather than having the need to come back to it?

Thanks
Ashley

Staying mindful is probably not as important as the knowing that mindfulness is always available to us. Don't be too tough on yourself if you find yourself identifying with any actions or thoughts. The option to gently return to presence or awareness in the midst of any circumstance becomes more open with consistent practice and experience.

Anupassī

I stay mindful by not forcing myself to stay mindful.

It has worked well.

DairyLama

Now-Is-reality wrote: »

Anyone have any tips on staying mindful and living your practice, rather than having the need to come back to it?

Returning to the breath at intervals is one way.

P

scoot0boy

Hey New Reality...I'm sure these guys have given you some sound advice for contemplation. So, I'll offer my own.

I. The "victim" identity :-/

Be the witness not the victim. Sometimes it's easy to get sucked into our life story. We feel that the dialog in our head must be true, that our situation is indeed keeping us from finding any shred of peace in life. Peace then appears to be somewhere far, far outside ourselves.

II. Reaction is key :rolleyes:

A neural net is called an "identity." The more we use these identities in our brain, the stronger they become. The moment a problem arises, our identities become like thought bullies, tossing all hope for inner-peace aside. The less we use our ego's past/future identity to run our life, the more stillness will come to us. And remember, we have nothing to attain. We need only to awaken by letting go of our story.

III. Mixing it all in...?:hrm:

Buddhism is not so much about mixing something into your story. It's partially about letting go of the story your ego has created for you. Nonetheless, if you have a lot going on and there's no time for hours of meditation, you need some tangible advice:

i. Live in the present, unswayed by the past or future thoughts.
ii. Keep a few books around you that help keep you inspired.
iii. Find a guru, or someone's who's thoughts you deeply respect and trust.
iv. Joining a forum like this is a start!
v. Get a youtube account and find subscriptions and playlists you enjoy.
vi. Decide what you want to accomplish. Do you really believe and understand that all your feelings (good or bad) are created within you? Do you really believe that you become what you think about?
vii. Talk less, do more! If you're life situation requires you to react non-stop, this may only nourish a reactive, often volatile mentality. Just be still and do not label your experiences.

IV. "Are you constantly mindful, or do you try to be?"

I'm reminded of the stages of learning:

i. unconscious incompetence (you don't know what you don't know...)
ii. conscious incompetence ( you know that you don't know...)
iii. conscious competence (you know but you have to think about it)
iv. unconscious competence (you know but without needing to think)

Ultimately, it's often the "thinking" we are doing that is keeping us from any of our goals.

So, just try to be mindful of your thinking until it becomes an unconscious effort.