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Social anxiety
Hi there, does anyone know of certain type of mediation that would work well for social anxiety?
Since the beginning of December last year i have been having these bad spells of social anxiety, for example when i have been waiting in queues its horrendous i always feel like overwhelming feeling that i need to pee. I've been to the doctors about it and he prescribed amitriptyline for stress, but i don't really want to take drugs instead im looking for something more natural.
When these attacks happen I try to remind myself that each breath i take is in the present moment and what im feeling is inpermanent, even chanting in my head anything that will help me escape the suffering that my mind has created and bring me back the mind state prior to the attack.
Anyway thanks for reading,
Much metta!
Since the beginning of December last year i have been having these bad spells of social anxiety, for example when i have been waiting in queues its horrendous i always feel like overwhelming feeling that i need to pee. I've been to the doctors about it and he prescribed amitriptyline for stress, but i don't really want to take drugs instead im looking for something more natural.
When these attacks happen I try to remind myself that each breath i take is in the present moment and what im feeling is inpermanent, even chanting in my head anything that will help me escape the suffering that my mind has created and bring me back the mind state prior to the attack.
Anyway thanks for reading,
Much metta!
0
Comments
Thanks for you help
Kindest Regards
Sorry to hear of your problems. I have an idea, though not really main stream buddhist practice, it helps me with my problems.
First of all, find an object (like a necklace or watch or ring or prayer beads etc) that you can carry around with you where-ever you go. Then, when you're at home and you're happy, carefree and not at all anxious about anything, take that item and hold it, roll it around your fingers and try to connect this experience of happiness with that item. Meditate with it for a while doing the same thing. Really take in that feeling of well being while handling that item. Keep doing this everyday, whenever you are happy.
Then, the next time you start to fell anxious about anything, simply take that item. Hold it. Close your eyes for a second. Breath, and remember that happy feeling, that free feeling, in a room where you feel confortable and at rest.
It's difficult at first but pretty soon you get used to it. I know in buddhism we are not supposed to get attached to objects but this really works for me (claustraphobic). Now I hardly ever feel claustraphic and I no longer need that object to get back into the happy zone.
I hope you find a solution soon
Nios.
Thank you again
Kindest regards to the both of you.
My fear comes from a childhood notion that I never fit in, and that people are apt to make fun of me. It's silly, but when I look under the covers, that's what's there.
I try to focus on being mindful to what's actually being said... as opposed to what my mind wants to do, which is skip ahead to all sorts of psychodrama about how the comment might be an attack on me. I'll also watch myself in the present as much as possible. It's actually entertaining to see how quickly my mind moves forward to the possibility of leaving the crowded house and getting back to familiar ground. If I can stay semi-grounded in the present, sometimes I'm more at ease with just being there in a group.
This will sound silly..and I'm still working to do this consistently, but I also take a page out of Thich Nhat Hanh's book and intentionally smile at people. This is not natural for me; I'm quite stoic by nature, but I try to give an engaging, friendly smile to whoever I'm talking to, or even if I'm standing alone. It really does change the tone of how people deal with me, and it makes me feel better at the same time. Even if I am the butt of a joke that annoys me at some level, I try to watch the annoyance, and smile in a non-smartaleck way. Somehow it disarms the situation...usually.
Perhaps not relevant, but this is what came to mind when I saw your thread. Best of luck.
I have quite a long history of problems with anxiety. Doctors have (in the past) given me medicines to combat it, but like you, I prefer a more natural approach.
In my experience, I don't think it's very important that I find a method of meditating that fits specifically with this problem. I found that over time, as long as I keep meditating regularly - I aim for every day, but in practice it's more like every two or three days these days - then when a situation occurs that I would've normally found stressful, I feel more able to deal with it. The type of meditation I do most of the time is "awareness of breathing". (I can explain in more detail if you want, but I'm not sure what you know already so don't want to be repetative!)
I think if you try to deal with anxiety only at the time that you're feeling it, it's a little too late because you've already started to feel anxious (at least that's my experience). In my opinion, it's far more helpful to work on it gradually over a period of time, at times you're not feeling anxious.
I'm not sure if this would be an option for you, but if you haven't already, maybe you'd consider finding a local buddhist centre or meditation group? I found this helped me greatly, although I did find it difficult the very first time I went, since part of my anxiety relates to being around groups of people who I don't know. But after the initial difficulties I found a suprisingly welcoming and friendly group of people, and of course, someone to teach me "properly" how to meditate (rather than reading about it in a book or a website).
This is my experience anyway... I hope you find something that helps.
Secondly, for meditation I would look into vipassana. Anxiety is heavily rooted in deluded self-view. Cognitive behavioural therapy, when dine properly, is very similar. In fact some cbt therapists combine the two. Exploring tainted perception and the nature of your anxiety is very helpful.
Sometimes drugs are necessary but unless this is affecting your quality of living and impeding your ability to function I would try these things first.
Thich nhat hanh has a very enlightening book called true love. His suggestion, which I found paramount to solving this problem, was to embrace the anxiety as a part of the self. In reality it is a part of the self. Without it we would not be the same person.
He said that the negative emotions and feelings we experience are a result of our desire to push away, ignore, or destroy the bad and only embrace the good. The analogy he made was to imagine that the anxiety we felt was our own child. If it were our child (which in a sense it is, we created it) and our child were to cry and we ignored it it would cry more and more and worse and worse. Eventualy it might die. But if we embraced it lovingly, compassionately, and fully the childs crying would stop. If it were hungry we would know to feed it, or to change it, or sing to it, with our minds like this.
So we must be mindful of our pain. And we must be lloving and nurtureing toward it. But above all we must have compassion toward it. For me this was one of the things that helped me to master this problem.
Love
alex
om amideva hrih
I detailed how I overcame it on 43 Things.
I highly recommend hypnotherapy, which is very similar in practice to meditation.
I also second RayfieldNeel's suggestion to smile at people. It will make their day brighter, in turn making your day brighter. And just to smile more in general. I'm reading a book right now about how the brain works, and smiling can actually make you happier (not just vice versa).
Apologies if I make the subject of the thread drift, but which book? I just finished Buddha's Brain, and it had some helpful content about this kind of thing as well.
I've ordered it on Amazon, and can't wait to read it.....
Those other two books sounds really interesting. I'll have to put them on my list.
With much metta!
Orange
- Analise the situation(s) when/why do they happen?
- What is the actual fear your fear? (embarrassment?)
It is believed, psychology speaking, that confronting yourself with a similar situation very frequently can be helpful (instead of avoiding lines confront them when possible as odd as it sounds), although I am sure that's not something you'd look forward too.
Here's are two practical tips (hopefully):
1. Try to think in small time segments, so say to yourself: Ok, I am going to give this 2 minutes (those pass really quick) and then focus on the next 2 etc.
2. Put your focus on something else (if possible) that could distract you and make you less self-aware, bring a portable-game-device, music whatever u like
Best of Luck!