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I made a big mistake...

acceptanceacceptance
edited February 2010 in Buddhism Basics
Thanks sooo much people. Very, very helpful :)

Comments

  • MatSaltedMatSalted
    edited February 2010
    acceptance wrote: »
    I've betrayed someone's trust. Totally out of character for me at this point in my life...yet I did it. Many issues surrounding why, too much to get into.

    I feel guilt yet I accept that I am human and that hating myself won't right the situation. I feel each day has a big lie looming over me and I just can't stand it. Over the years I have lived a pretty honest life and it feels good. This mistake has hurt me, and secretly has hurt this person I am talking about. I'm certain it has hurt my karma too :(

    How can I make this better? For both of us and my personal karma??

    A

    Own up?

    When is the path of truth not the right path?

    Good luck!

    Mat
  • acceptanceacceptance
    edited February 2010
    Yes. Fess up I must.

    I will surely get hell for it. My life will get completely turned upside-down.

    Deep within myself I knew I wanted change...I just didn't want to go about it in the way that I did. Damn.

    Any other advice? How much will a very sincere apology and confession help things karmically? Both now and in the future?
  • Quiet_witnessQuiet_witness Veteran
    edited February 2010
    Do not worry about stuff you cannot control. The natural reactions (karma) that will come from your past actions is not known. However, you can change your future behaviors and thoughts to not perpetuate this karma and continue the cycle of impure thoughts and actions (whatever they may be).

    In other words, by apologizing you will own up to your mistake and by owning up to it you can learn from it so not to make a similar mistake in the future.

    I was reading a sutta (I will have to find it for you) that talks about a man that did atrocious acts but then met the Buddha. Upon speaking with Buddha he realised his mistakes and lived according to the 8fp. Even after years of living acording to the path his previously past actions eventually caught up with him and had to pay for his past actions with his life.
  • shenpennangwashenpennangwa
    edited February 2010
    acceptance wrote: »

    I will surely get hell for it.

    I dont think this is true. If you recognize that what you have done is non-virtuous, resolve not to do it again, confess to it, and take remedial action there is nothing that will get your ticket punched to hell.
    Take Milarepa for example. The story is that be killed many people before encountering the authentic dharma and was still able to become a Buddha in that same lifetime.
    The point is that there is no non-virtuous action that cannot be purified and or corrected.
    The first thing to do is make sure you dont beat yourself up about it.
  • RichardHRichardH Veteran
    edited February 2010
    Sounds like your in Hell now. When you fess up and the sh*t hits the fan, that will probably be when the Hell maxes-out. No choice but to go through it with no buffer, then it will be clearer later on. Pain avoidance will make it worse.
    Your heart remains stainless the whole time though.
  • Floating_AbuFloating_Abu Veteran
    edited February 2010
    acceptance wrote: »
    I've betrayed someone's trust. Totally out of character for me at this point in my life...yet I did it. Many issues surrounding why, too much to get into.

    I feel guilt yet I accept that I am human and that hating myself won't right the situation. I feel each day has a big lie looming over me and I just can't stand it. Over the years I have lived a pretty honest life and it feels good. This mistake has hurt me, and secretly has hurt this person I am talking about. I'm certain it has hurt my karma too :(

    How can I make this better? For both of us and my personal karma??

    A

    Meditate.

    _/\_
  • nuageuxnuageux
    edited February 2010
    What's done is done, you may not be able to make it all better, but it seems like you've already accepted this. You've realised that you've made a big mistake, which will most likely give you the opportunity to learn something - though whether you learn something or not is probably the last thing on your mind right now. I think what's most important now is what you do NOW. I agree with what others have said - I don't like to give advice without knowing very much about your situation, but it's probably best to be open and honest about what you've done. Probably better if they hear it from you now, rather than someone else later on down the line anyway.

    I made a mistake which involved betraying someone's trust in a huge way a few years ago, which is totally out of character for me too. I decided to be open and honest about it, which wasn't much fun at the time, but as a result my perspective about some things has changed, and I think for the better.

    Good luck.
  • RichardHRichardH Veteran
    edited February 2010
    Floating_Abu wrote: »
    Meditate.

    _/\_
    There is the story of the guy meditating in his kuti when a candle fell over onto his robe. As the flames penetrated the folds and crawled up his leg he noticed.... burning, burning.
  • Floating_AbuFloating_Abu Veteran
    edited February 2010
    That's certainly a stupid comment. :)
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