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Looking for Help
Hello forum,
I am going through a really hard time right now, I feel that if I keep going as I currently am, I may end up losing my mind.
I'm 20 and I'm from Australia, I did not grow up in a religious household, I wouldn't say I'm drawn to religion in general but am on my own quest to find out the answers of life. Initially when I discovered Buddhism I attended a teaching and found it very insightful, however, before I could accept buddhism I had to rule out other options. From what I understand, one should refrain from taking refuge if there is doubt in ones mind, which basically renders the refuge pointless and you not buddhist.
So I did, I continued on my journey to explore the other alternatives with the intention of returning back to buddhism convinced as ever.
So basically, Islam is where I'm at. I have all these Ideas of different beliefs clashing with one another, but as I stay determined to not give up I feel it's having an effect on me mentally. Not only do I feel extremely frustrated, I feel angry and very confused.
I need to know why I'm here, the meaning of why I am here. I need to know why I'm going when I go (After Death), I want to know the meaning behind "heaven" or "Paradise" or "Nirvana". Some concepts of Islam were speaking to me, just as some buddhist beliefs did, and still do.
Islam, christianity offer "Paradise" or "Heaven" which to me sounds like Prison, I wonder how long it takes during Eternity to get and try everything a billion times. Where as Buddhism seems to offer me the way out. However, nirvana seems restricted too in the sense that, it's not giving me a full explanation of thing's I am endlessly searching for. Paradise itself may not speak to me, but the Islam belief system is giving me explanations of the earth, life, space and everything beyond. Explanations I have yet to recieve from Buddhist teaching, but something I am actively seeking.
If ultimately the meaning of life is to become enlightened and reach Nirvana I need a reason why. I want answers so I can accept, it's not an ultimatum I just want to understand.
I cant switch off, and I am having trouble sleeping. The only thing that calms me down is practicing my passion of photography, which since I'm so drawn to a possible religious life I would have to give up since I have considered a dedicated religious life. (A Monks life?) a Monastic.
All help welcome, please help.
Josh
I am going through a really hard time right now, I feel that if I keep going as I currently am, I may end up losing my mind.
I'm 20 and I'm from Australia, I did not grow up in a religious household, I wouldn't say I'm drawn to religion in general but am on my own quest to find out the answers of life. Initially when I discovered Buddhism I attended a teaching and found it very insightful, however, before I could accept buddhism I had to rule out other options. From what I understand, one should refrain from taking refuge if there is doubt in ones mind, which basically renders the refuge pointless and you not buddhist.
So I did, I continued on my journey to explore the other alternatives with the intention of returning back to buddhism convinced as ever.
So basically, Islam is where I'm at. I have all these Ideas of different beliefs clashing with one another, but as I stay determined to not give up I feel it's having an effect on me mentally. Not only do I feel extremely frustrated, I feel angry and very confused.
I need to know why I'm here, the meaning of why I am here. I need to know why I'm going when I go (After Death), I want to know the meaning behind "heaven" or "Paradise" or "Nirvana". Some concepts of Islam were speaking to me, just as some buddhist beliefs did, and still do.
Islam, christianity offer "Paradise" or "Heaven" which to me sounds like Prison, I wonder how long it takes during Eternity to get and try everything a billion times. Where as Buddhism seems to offer me the way out. However, nirvana seems restricted too in the sense that, it's not giving me a full explanation of thing's I am endlessly searching for. Paradise itself may not speak to me, but the Islam belief system is giving me explanations of the earth, life, space and everything beyond. Explanations I have yet to recieve from Buddhist teaching, but something I am actively seeking.
If ultimately the meaning of life is to become enlightened and reach Nirvana I need a reason why. I want answers so I can accept, it's not an ultimatum I just want to understand.
I cant switch off, and I am having trouble sleeping. The only thing that calms me down is practicing my passion of photography, which since I'm so drawn to a possible religious life I would have to give up since I have considered a dedicated religious life. (A Monks life?) a Monastic.
All help welcome, please help.
Josh
0
Comments
Buddhism has a lot of answers to the questions you seek, but sometimes, we don't like the answer that's given. I'll try to find the relavent suttas for you. It may take some time.
Nios.
Come to terms with the fact that all the questions you have, may not all have answers.
Even in Buddhism there are Four definite Unconjecturables
And as for other questions, you must know - surely, you must - that nobody can ever truly answer them with 100% conviction.
Where you go when you die?
Your guess is as good as mine.
but you know what?
I'm not really worried.
Before I go, I cannot know. After I go, I cannot tell.
The answers you gain from other religions, are pure conjecture. They're not certainties.
how can they be? How can anyone tell for sure, what the answers are to anything?
You'd have to make it up, to give a definite answer, wouldn't you?
Which is why Buddhism either doesn't supply the answer (because there is no definite completely verifiable answer) or because frankly - what's the point of asking?
This is why, very often, the Buddha remained silent on some things. because the answer provided no definitive step forward. or even sideways.
There was little advancement, if any at all, in having an answer to such questions.
I mean, what difference does it make to you, or your practice?
This is the question I ask myself:
What difference would it make to my practice, right NOW, whether I know the answer or not?
Why do you NEED to know?
Why do you HAVE to know?
Do you really suppose that others following (whatever) religion, have all the answers they seek? do you think that even the wisest, holiest, most elevated Lamas, Gurus, Priests, Imams or Rabbis, have all the answers?
Even though they hold what one might term, "a higher" position to us?
of course not.....
Nibbana isn't a place. It's a state of being, just as Samsara is.
It's not a location, it's an altered and illuminated state of Consciousness.
Simplistically put, it's Knowing things are as they are, because they are as they are, and accepting absolutely that they are as they are, because they are as they are.
And why are you so drawn to a monastic life?
And why do you think you'd have to give up photography?
Who says?
I know a wonderful Theravada monk who takes the most spectacular photographs.....
Much metta
Mat
federica: Thank you, It means a lot when people take the time to offer advice. I am thinking about it and since you have posted I think I know why I am so stuck on Islam. From what I have read Islam defines itself from Christianity by stating to have the definitive word of god, the Quran. Where as in Christianity, they accept that the Bible is written by man and therefore cannot be considered perfect withut faith (faith completes it). Muslims claim the Quran is the uncorrupt word of god, if it''s the word of the creator then it must be true.
I do not know why I NEED to know, I just feel I do. I also do not have the answer to why I am drawn to a monastic life, I have a good life, loving family and close friends, the people around me aren't as (philosophical?) "deep" as me? I go surfing with friends, sit on our boards while we wait for waves, while they talk about girls and objects I look up at the sky and wonder about life. They notice and just point it out that I am in deep thought again, all I wonder is how they aren't.
I thought monks were supposed to give up all world;y pleasures? In fact I think I went over this just yesterday.
"T.V.'s and videos for entertainment should not be used by a monk. Under certain circumstances, a Dharma video or a documentary programme may be watched. In general, luxurious items are inappropriate for a monk to accept. This is because they are conducive to attachment in his own mind, and excite envy, possibly even the intention to steal, in the mind of another person. This is unwholesome Kamma. It also looks bad for an alms mendicant, living on charity as a source of inspiration to others, to have luxurious belongings. One who is content with little should be a light to a world where consumer instincts and greed are whipped up in people's minds."
I just figured.. no cameras.
Mundus: I think you are right. I thought, the goal was to reach enlightenment, karma played a role in re-birth and you were in that cycle untill you reached enlightenment, which is when you stopped being reborn?
I need some books.. I plan to go back to my local temple this week.
It helps all of us when we look for truth in teachings. Thank you for asking questions.
One of the things I love about Buddhism, is that it doesn't always have the answers. What I mean by that, is that in the Buddhist tradition, a lot of emphasis is put on what I believe and have experienced. There is an onus placed on me to test beliefs or thoughts and accept them or reject them.
And I have found a lot of truth in Buddhist teachings. They are confirmed by my own experience. This to me, is how one may become enlightened. I don't think it is possible otherwise.
This is different to the faith we see in Buddhism, because a Theistic faith is defined as Hope.
There is no tangible, visible and accredited indisputable evidence that what they claim or consider, is factually true.
There isn't.
Faith hinges on a certain amount of acceptance of things being as they are written, because your religion requires you to have a faith in the Great Unseen.
The problem I see you facing, is that by following Islam, at one point or another, something will tell you, that it is as it is, because it is written, so therefore you must accept it as the word of Allah.
I'm not telling you to not follow Islam. Do so, if this is the way your reasoning, logic and yearning, takes you.
But accept that you will have to put a great deal of faith (Hope) in many of the answers your questions are leading to. Because not every question HAS an answer. It hasn't. And putting your faith in something external to yourself, with the Hope that eventually, you will receive the responses you're looking for, is a risk you're going to have to take. Willingly.
For my part, in Catholicism, it simply didn't suffice.
My faith, in Buddhism, is defined by growing (and never has it diminished) Confidence because every question I have, has a reply.
Now, I'm not asking you to take my word for that. For a start, we probably have different questions. And for another, I really need you to check it out for yourself. I actually don't WANT you to take my word for it.
And neither did the Buddha.
The kalama Sutta encourages us to research and examine everything for yourself, and to seek to experience things evaluating it all through your own reasoning and discernment.....
This of course, will be your choice.
but make it with a clear mind, a sense of purpose, and complete certainty.
It doesn't matter whether others are as drawn to something as you.
I'm not! but I'm sure whether I am or not, doesn't matter to you.....
Be an example to them, if you want. but maybe monastic robes aren't necessary.....
No. it is advised that they give up ATTACHMENT to worldly pleasures.
If all worldly pleasures had to be given up, then a warm blanket and a good meal would be included, no? Worldly pleasures are fine. Attachment and clinging to them, as a source of personal pleasure, is the problem.
Did you know the Dalai lama collects watches? He loves them. He also stated in his autobiography that he would find it difficult to give them up. But he would.....
I hope we're helping....
but I harbour the concern that should you wish to follow a theistic calling, then you'll end up with more questions - but fewer answers.
I wish you well.
Boy, do I ever know what you're talking about.
A few years ago, before I started practicing Buddhism, I became obsessed (although I wouldn't have called it obsession at the time, just a healthy curiosity...) with finding the answers to the same sort of questions: Why am I here? What's my purpose? Is there an afterlife and if there is, what is it? How did everything begin? Is there a god? A devil? And on and on and on....
I was utterly convinced that there were answers to these questions and that I could find them. I also thought I had to find them, that I couldn't move forward, wouldn't have a purpose, and would never find relief from my suffering, if I didn't find them. The result of my quest was that I very nearly lost my mind. (The irony of that just struck me.
Then I decided to look into Buddhism and to my delight I discovered that the Buddha addressed the core of my problem, the pain of suffering, head on with the First Noble Truth. I had been under the impression that life was supposed to be a happy journey and the fact that it wasn't, meant there was something wrong with me. There was something wrong with me, but it wasn't what I thought it was.
I was also delighted to hear how the Buddha treated the same questions I had been asking. From what I remember, the Buddha was asked about the origin of the cosmos and so on and his reply was that he could explain it but it would take longer to explain than the questioner's lifetime and it still wouldn't have any effect on the questioner's suffering.
The Buddha taught only about suffering, its origin and its cessation. The rest of the questions didn't matter and in fact, if one became consumed with finding the answers to those cosmic questions it would lead to suffering, even madness for some.
I interpreted the Buddha's words to mean that I could finally put down the burden I'd placed on myself and get to work on what really mattered; dealing with dukkha.
I really thought I'd never give up trying to find those answers but I did and it was such a relief. These days I never think about them anymore. I just don't care. They're so irrelevant to what's important to me now. I want to understand this mind better and I want to be a kinder and wiser person and Buddhism happens to fit the bill perfectly for me.
You don't have to become a Buddhist to get some relief from your suffering. You can, if you want to, take the Buddha's teaching as wise advice and put down your burden of having to find the answers to those cosmic questions. Then go from there. Learn how to be comfortable with the mystery of not knowing. You can even learn how to enjoy the fact that these things will remain a mystery to you. It all depends on what you really want from this life.
Hi
SN56.11: Dhammacakkappavattana Sutta. Setting the wheel of Dhamma in motion.
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/sn/sn56/sn56.011.than.html
This is the Buddha's first discourse and contains the four noble truths and the eight fold path.
SN45.8: Magga-vibhanga Sutta. An analysis of the path.
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/sn/sn45/sn45.008.than.html
This gives a clearer description of the eight fold path.
SN22.48: Khandha Sutta. The aggregates.
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/sn/sn22/sn22.048.than.html
Form, feeling, perception, mental formations and conciousness.
DN15: Maha-nidana Sutta. The Great Causes Discourse.
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/dn/dn.15.0.than.html
This sutta deals with dependant co-arising and non-self.
MN135: Cula-kammavibhanga Sutta. Short discourse on Kamma.
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/mn/mn.135.than.html
MN136: Maha-kammavibhanga Sutta. Longer discourse on Kamma.
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/mn/mn.136.nymo.html
MN101: Devadaha Sutta. At Devadaha
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/mn/mn.101.than.html
All three of these suttas deals with kamma, the last one might help dispell any misconseptions of what buddhist kamma is and isn't, because it does differ from other views of kamma.
There is a lot to take in there so take your time, read carefully, ask questions if you need to, might also be good to find a sangha (buddhist group) with a teacher near by.
All buddhists will tell you, the path isn't just reading and learning, it's also (and importantly) practising.
Oh, and to let you know, all these suttas are from the Pali canon which belongs to the Theravadan school of buddhism, thought to be the oldest. I follow Mahayana buddhism which has it's own sutras (sanskrit word for suttas) and differs slightly from Theravada. But I personally think the Pali canon is still the foundation.
Nios.
I was a surfer who gave up sitting on a board for sitting on a meditation cushion.
You are here because your life is a natural creation. There was physical & mental seed within your parents and your parents nourished that seed.
You are here because the earth, with is food & air, sustains your body, which sustains your mind.
You are here just like the air, sea, wind, waves, trees & mountains are here. Each is created by nature & each has their life cycle of a different length.
But the lucid experience of consciousness & awareness can be overwelming.
The "I" or "me" is also something than can be overwelming because the "I" or "me is something alienated or separate from nature.
In Buddhism, Nirvana or Nibbana is here & now peace & ease.
When it is a hot day and we drink a glass of cool clear water, our life is naturally refreshed. We simply drink the water and the refreshment is there, beyond our volition or doing.
Meditation is the same. It to calm down all of those existential thoughts and to simply drink the Nirvanic water found within the natural rhythms of the breathing in and breathing out.
When the mind is calm, clear & at ease, all of the answers will come naturally.
Be unconcerned with rebirth. Already your mind has obtained rigid opinions about what Buddhism is. Empty your tea cup.
Meditation is the key. Inner calmness is the way.
There are many places to learn informally in Australia. Santi Forest Monastery is an example.
Kind regards
DD