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eccentricity

questionfulquestionful
edited February 2010 in Buddhism Basics
buddha said not to be eccentric. i can see why he would say that. when someone is eccentric, it can make others uncomfortable or cause misunderstandings.

but i have run into a problem.

eccentricity is defined by normality. in a society where the normality causes much suffering, it sometimes seems to me like I either have to choose between avoiding personal suffering, and not being eccentric. What I mean is, in order to not suffer, one has to follow the precepts and whatnot, but in this society, people that do that seem weird and eccentric, and cause others to think, 'wtf is up with this guy?' and stuff.

Know what I mean? What is the solution?

Comments

  • Floating_AbuFloating_Abu Veteran
    edited February 2010
    Dear questionful

    Yeah I think I know what you mean but you know you don't need to be so visible about what you are doing, so vocal about it. Non harming, just your way, not bad mouthing someone else, just an invisible choice FOR EXAMPLE. Meditating, even better - in your room :)

    Take it slowly, see how you go, mate.

    Best wishes, and Happy New Year ! (Tibetan and Chinese) :)

    Abu
  • MountainsMountains Veteran
    edited February 2010
    Being "different" (eccentric?) used to bother me, but it doesn't any more. I don't flaunt my differentness - or at least I try not to. But I know that I don't try to conform very much to what society calls "normal" and it really doesn't bother me much. People look at me funny when I tell them I haven't watched TV in ten years and that I don't have a Facebook page and that I like opera *and* bluegrass music, but so be it. I've never really felt "at home" in "normal" culture. There has always been something about it that didn't ring true and didn't really require my participation. As I said, that used to bug me, but as I get older it really doesn't.

    Just do your own thing in your own way...

    Mtns
  • PietroPumokinPietroPumokin
    edited February 2010
    buddha said don't be eccentric? you should do what feels right for you. do not conform to other people's standards especially if it's psychologically conflicting for you. being eccentric is difficult, because like you said people will often look and act at you strangely. i don't know what eccentricity you're talking about exactly though, just being a buddhist among non-buddhists or being weird in general? if it's only being a buddhist, then finding a sangha would overcome these problems, and if it's the latter, well buddhists are more accepting than the general populace, generally. also, find peace in yourself through meditation, override your anxieties about being eccentric. and when you are peaceful inside yourself, and it is truly peaceful, no matter how eccentric you are, people will feel that peace too eventually, even if not at first. normality is an illusion anyways...!
  • DeshyDeshy Veteran
    edited February 2010
    Did he say not to be eccentric because eccentric people do not have the required mental capacity to listen to and understand Dhamma? I think he actually said his Dhamma was for the mentally healthy or something.

    Anyway, I wouldn't bother if someone out there would think "wtf is wrong with that person". I used to and it was a big part of my anxiety but the more I read on Buddhism the more I let go of this desire to fit in with anyone and look accepting. It really doesn't matter as long as you don't bother anyone in your life and you live according to the Dhamma
  • questionfulquestionful
    edited February 2010
    I don't mean that i feel bad that I am different than others. I am quite different than most people I think, and I don't have much of a problem with that.

    What I mean is, when people are in a group, interacting, they will interact in certain ways. These ways are often ways that lead to suffering. So while I could just not hang out with people, I'm wondering if there is a way that I can interact with people that won't let me get sucked into their ways to suffering, and that will not cause them suffering either.
  • PietroPumokinPietroPumokin
    edited February 2010
    i may just be a simpleton giving this advice but i would say just meditate. to me, my meditation determines much of the character of what happens in my life and how i proceed through it. a bodhisattva is to be skillful in both preventing, eliminating and lessening the suffering of others. i would say much of this ability issues forth from the spirit their meditation engenders. so if you meditate often, probe yourself deeply, experiment with your feelings, come to a balance and peace and steadiness, coupled with an equal or fair amount of love and compassion, you should be able to go with the flow of these social interactions if not easily, than much better, and be able to operate skillfully through any webs of samsaric activity the others are weaving.
  • questionfulquestionful
    edited February 2010
    Yes, the more I meditate the more I see how much it helps. I am still quite a beginner though, and the other day a friend and I got into an angry argument and it didn't end well. I got sucked into their ways.
  • BrotherBobBrotherBob
    edited February 2010
    Getting sucked-in will continue. Just practice being confident and as humble as you can be in the moment and it should work out alright. AND, ALWAYS think and act from the intention to benefit others; to reduce harmfulness so that goodness may arise.

    :):):)
  • appleorangeappleorange
    edited February 2010
    questionful.

    there is nothing wrong with being eccentric. what is important is that you be yourself.

    there is no difference between the person who tries to act nice and the person who tries to act mean. both are imposing their will in order to try and gain. happiness for these people exists in an idea and an idea can never make you happy.
  • BrigidBrigid Veteran
    edited February 2010
    Pietro Pumokin wrote: »
    i may just be a simpleton giving this advice but i would say just meditate. to me, my meditation determines much of the character of what happens in my life and how i proceed through it. a bodhisattva is to be skillful in both preventing, eliminating and lessening the suffering of others. i would say much of this ability issues forth from the spirit their meditation engenders. so if you meditate often, probe yourself deeply, experiment with your feelings, come to a balance and peace and steadiness, coupled with an equal or fair amount of love and compassion, you should be able to go with the flow of these social interactions if not easily, than much better, and be able to operate skillfully through any webs of samsaric activity the others are weaving.
    Great post, imho.
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