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Just now realizing I've created bad karma--is it going to catch up to me?
A few years ago I created bad karma, but I didn't really realize it at the time. I think I was brainwashed in a sense, to believe that what I was doing was good. It didn't bother me that much at the time, but I think now that I repressed a lot of feelings.
Now it's starting to come out. I can't sleep, and it's giving me a lot of anxiety. This is probably the best time for it to come out, since I don't think I had the ability to handle the anxiety before.
But I wonder if the repercussions are still yet to be seen for this karma. It worries me. I feel like my life has improved in the last few years, and I'm an incredibly lucky person, so I haven't seen my karma come out. Although, I'm trying not to worry (i am a worrier! This is my no.1 problem!).
Can I purge myself of this? Don't I have to go out and create good karma to counteract this? Does anyone have experiences of doing this?
Now it's starting to come out. I can't sleep, and it's giving me a lot of anxiety. This is probably the best time for it to come out, since I don't think I had the ability to handle the anxiety before.
But I wonder if the repercussions are still yet to be seen for this karma. It worries me. I feel like my life has improved in the last few years, and I'm an incredibly lucky person, so I haven't seen my karma come out. Although, I'm trying not to worry (i am a worrier! This is my no.1 problem!).
Can I purge myself of this? Don't I have to go out and create good karma to counteract this? Does anyone have experiences of doing this?
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Comments
What kind of buddhist meditation do you practice?
I'm sorry to hear of your suffering. We can never know what is our karma, so I wouldn't worry about it. What we do know is that you can change your karma by following the 8fold path. Karma only comes to fuition when conditions are right. If the conditions are never right then that karma will never manifest.
Life has it's ups and downs, so ride the waves
Be well.
The "reprecussions" can be seen in your first paragraph in what I quoted above. Learn from your mistakes and let go.
Right now I practice the kind where I just follow my breath.
I used to be with a zen group who told me to "just relax and don't think" but the instructions were so zen like that i still don't know if I was doing it right. It did quiet my mind, but I didn't observe my thoughts too much, which I'm told is essential, right?
I did a lot of meditation before with the "zen" method but now I'm doing a new method (follow breath, observe thought?) and it's really hard to get myself to do it more than once a week due to the extreme anxiety I've had (I've been in fear mode for the last week).
Also, right now, when I do meditate, I found that the thoughts that come up all all different experiences that make me feel horrible. It's like "oh yeah, I totally forgot about that instance 7 years ago where that person did that horrible thing to me. but now I remember" Is this a good thing? I feel like I'm just bogged down by more and more bad memories.
Is this normal?
Hi Leisha,
Just relax, let the past go, and meditate.:) This is a good series :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rd7a9Ur2x0o
Kind wishes,
Dazzle
.
if there is a solution, there is no need to worry about it. if there is no solution, there is no point in worrying about it.
there is a solution for encountering the potential bad situation. there is no solution to the problem of pre-solving the potential bad situation. so. don't worry!
I love what you said. It's like one part of my brain understands it completely, yet another keeps saying "but... but...." It's funny when I think about it.
I'm constantly forget this simplest advice! But thanks for reminding me.
I can tell you that one of my teachers once said that the anxiety and remorse that we feel as a result of our actions is in part the vipaka. Its not that heaven is lining up a rock to drop onto our heads for naughtiness. We do stuff and it sets up a action and reaction sequence. Learn from it.
For example, a thief may feel deep regret for stealing, then he would confess his actions, then possibly volunteer for a while to counsel minors who have gotten into trouble for the same thing.
If you look around I'm sure you can find out more about this. I've heard this a few times over the years.
there are chains of cause and effect that are too long for us to see. buddha, instead of advocating a method of guessing the effects of an action before you do the action, recognized that that would be foolish and instead advocated the method of sticking to certain precepts.
karma seems like a supernatural force sometimes because it is impossible for us to link some effects with distant causes.
but with those seemingly unbeatable worries, the only way to beat them is to sit down and completely analyze the crap out of them so that you KNOW you don't need to worry. not just know that you should know you don't need to worry. some people use the phrase "rest assured." with this matter, i like flipping it around to "assured, rest."
You can't "escape" your karma ... EVER.
don't try to...it's useless.
if that is your intention you will fail and crash+burn...
Your karma is self generated, like a bullet you shoot at your own head by accident/igorance...
it's hard ...close to impossible...to escape that bullet...don't pretend..
but!! one guy at least did it, and he tells us of the method in which he escaped it...
he told us that this bullet to the head, sucks. (#1 noble truth),
why it sucks, is because we don't want it..but we think we do initially.. (#2 noble truth)
he found a way to not shoot ourselves in the head (#3 noble truth)
and that way or method, of non-suicide is :
to follow his guide, titled : "the 8 fold non-shooting of the head path"
(#4 noble truth)
So perhaps if you are DAMNED lucky..which you aren't probably.:D
,
if you follow the "8 non-shooting of heads path",
you will ...
well
not shoot yourself in the head...
or at least deflect the bullet you have already launched.
good luck.:eekblue:
It is also impossible to say, "this has happened to me/him/her therefore I/he/she must have done................................" fill in the blank.
Its not a simple mechanistic process. Remember every encounter we all have with everyone else is likely to carry karmic overtones and associations. We cant figure out all the actions and reactions so lets not try. It starts now, by becoming aware, and being responsible for our actions. We can only conjecture about our past and its effects, but we do know that we are creating our futures.