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I have this problem
NamelessRiver
Veteran
Our journey in Buddhism it begins with a simple wish: "I want my life to improve, I don't want to suffer so much", followed by a simple affirmation: "I teach what is suffering and the path leading to the end of suffering". This is the point where the confusion starts.
Suddenly suffering doesn't mean suffering anymore, but an exotic foreign word: Dukkha. The big problem is not that the car needs to be fixed, or the tooth hurts, or you need to post a letter. It is Dukkha, an underlying feeling of unease with 20ish different meanings.
The cause of our suffering, which in the old days could simply be something like "Oh, I shouldn't have had that third slice of pizza" turns into craving, an underlying abstract force that steers us into suffering.
The end of suffering, who would consist in a nice afternoon reading a book, becomes a search for a mental Shangrila called Nirvana, which no one knows how to properly define, but somehow we know we must find it.
The path leading to the end of suffering, who used to be the use of our intelligence and prudence, not putting the hand in the fire, not calling your boss an idiot, not forgetting to pick your kids in the school, becomes a list of Do's and Don't's emanating from scriptural tomes of ancient knowledge.
On top of that old person that begun the path looking for an easier time we add a filter of arcane symbols, meanings and reasoning to explain how time doesn't exist and that birth and death are the same. But I ask myself, did that person find what he was looking for in the first place?
The Buddha had an idea of what the problems of life were, perhaps in a more subtle level than we do, but we still have to deal with our very concrete issues. If we can't get past the grossest levels of attachment, of aversion, of ignorance, why are we looking to solve the "big puzzle"?
For me, there are a certain number of things I would like to see changed. I came to Buddhism for help, because I keep repeating the same mistakes. The hardest thing in life for me is that it can feel SO good to make mistakes, although in the long term I know I will get screwed. That is my problem.
Any thoughts?
Suddenly suffering doesn't mean suffering anymore, but an exotic foreign word: Dukkha. The big problem is not that the car needs to be fixed, or the tooth hurts, or you need to post a letter. It is Dukkha, an underlying feeling of unease with 20ish different meanings.
The cause of our suffering, which in the old days could simply be something like "Oh, I shouldn't have had that third slice of pizza" turns into craving, an underlying abstract force that steers us into suffering.
The end of suffering, who would consist in a nice afternoon reading a book, becomes a search for a mental Shangrila called Nirvana, which no one knows how to properly define, but somehow we know we must find it.
The path leading to the end of suffering, who used to be the use of our intelligence and prudence, not putting the hand in the fire, not calling your boss an idiot, not forgetting to pick your kids in the school, becomes a list of Do's and Don't's emanating from scriptural tomes of ancient knowledge.
On top of that old person that begun the path looking for an easier time we add a filter of arcane symbols, meanings and reasoning to explain how time doesn't exist and that birth and death are the same. But I ask myself, did that person find what he was looking for in the first place?
The Buddha had an idea of what the problems of life were, perhaps in a more subtle level than we do, but we still have to deal with our very concrete issues. If we can't get past the grossest levels of attachment, of aversion, of ignorance, why are we looking to solve the "big puzzle"?
For me, there are a certain number of things I would like to see changed. I came to Buddhism for help, because I keep repeating the same mistakes. The hardest thing in life for me is that it can feel SO good to make mistakes, although in the long term I know I will get screwed. That is my problem.
Any thoughts?
0
Comments
I just found this post and as you know I'm always willing!!
So, Jargon? makes us feel special? we know a secret only those in the club are into? Hum?
I'm a BUddhist cuz I know words. What crap!
I imagine the Buddha didn't use special terms, that he used everyday language to convey the path in very concrete, practical ways. It's been the scholars and in-the-head intellectuals who invented this other esoteric indoctrination/control stuff. You gotta know this stuff in order to know the path blah blah blah, whoey!
So, that's why I'm personally involved with those in this training who are determined to reform stuff into western terms.
Yes, it's about that third piece of pizza, ouch! you feel it? and yes it's about not wanting to feel it again but loving pizza so much that you just can't resist that last piece, ouch!, again. So, when you're tired of hurting. There's a way to discipline yourself so you won't cave in to the urge to eat that third piece, yahoo! ain't it grand!?!
Unfortunately, were still in the process of making the 'wake-up and do the right thing' trainings commonly understood in our cultures; especially our western cultures. It's only been about 110 years, but we're making progress.
That's why I say I'm a Western American 'Wake-up and Do The Right Thing' disciple, cuz we really need to move beyond being stuck on other's explanations and interpretations, based on foreign cultures, in order to truly 'GET' it.
The way to discipline myself is a bit painful. At the begging it might be something like, "Oh, I so want that pizza!" and then it goes "It won't matter if I just eat one slice", and then if you are mindful you go "Oh, but this has been going on for a while, it's time to stop" and then "Well that's stupid, what is the problem with a freaking pizza?" and it's a real battle.
That side of the Noble Eightfold Path is not talked about. We don't have someone to tell us it will hurt, we don't have someone to tell us that we will try to fool ourselves in every possible way in order to eat the pizza, we don't have someone to tell us specially that this longing for pizza has a shelf life.
When attachment is too strong you can get completely paranoic. "Oh If I don't eat this pizza I will have to throw it in the garbage, if I do that it will be a real bait for insects or whatever, so I will keep it in the fridge and tomorrow I'll dispose of it". Except the pizza never makes it to the next day, or it does and you end up eating it with some warped line of reasoning. These things can be STRONG.
I know what you're saying, I've been there with the OMG if I don't cave-in I'll DIE!!! thing. Yeah, how strong is that naughty mind of ours!!!
I also like the image of biting through a piece of tough leather strapping - It's "Bite-down hard"
Mtns
I also like, my dear friend, Venerable Thubten Chodron's teachings, both online and in books. She is one of the most experienced and knowledgeable western monastics around and uses everyday language to convey the trainings.
Sincerely...when you do not understand something or when some part of the Dhamma does not fit into your life or experience, you react against it, fight against it and must convince yourself you understand it.
The problem is with you rather than with the religion.
The Buddha-Dhamma is vast.
As a student of the Buddha-Dhamma, the important matter is defining one's needs and taking from the Buddha-Dhamma what meets one's needs.
That is all.
Kind regards
DD