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I'm not going to die :)
I know this isn't strictly a Buddhism thing but I wanted to share it anyway.
A few weeks ago I discovered a lump on my back. It wasn't really bothering me so I chose to ignore it. But then I started to think it might be cancer. I admit that I didn't go to the doctor straight away because I was scared that my worst fears would be confirmed. But then I decided that it was better to know one way or the other than always live in fear of not knowing. So last Thursday I called the doctors surgery and booked an appointment for the following day.
That was the longest night of my life. The worst thing was imagining how I would break the news to my family and friends.
The doctor took one look and told me it wasn't cancer. Just some kind of cyst thing. Completely harmless and I can go back and have it removed. I've been grinning like an idiot all weekend because I feel like I've got a second chance at life but I haven't told anyone else yet and not sure if I will. You're the only people who know so far.
It's made me think more about my life and where I'm going because I realise now that life is precious and too short. I guess this has been a warning shot, telling me to take better care of myself. I know that I've been very lucky and if my story helps someone else then it'll have been worth it.
A few weeks ago I discovered a lump on my back. It wasn't really bothering me so I chose to ignore it. But then I started to think it might be cancer. I admit that I didn't go to the doctor straight away because I was scared that my worst fears would be confirmed. But then I decided that it was better to know one way or the other than always live in fear of not knowing. So last Thursday I called the doctors surgery and booked an appointment for the following day.
That was the longest night of my life. The worst thing was imagining how I would break the news to my family and friends.
The doctor took one look and told me it wasn't cancer. Just some kind of cyst thing. Completely harmless and I can go back and have it removed. I've been grinning like an idiot all weekend because I feel like I've got a second chance at life but I haven't told anyone else yet and not sure if I will. You're the only people who know so far.
It's made me think more about my life and where I'm going because I realise now that life is precious and too short. I guess this has been a warning shot, telling me to take better care of myself. I know that I've been very lucky and if my story helps someone else then it'll have been worth it.
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Comments
Everybody one meets,
Everything one experiences,
Teaches us something.
Life is teaching us something all the while.
The universe ceaselessly offers up it's reality,
In a multitude of forms.
All one has to do is accept it,
As it comes...
Thank you, WindWalker, for sharing...
But, as someone is wont to say - Life is a terminal condition: Nobody gets out alive.
A good few years ago, a friend of mine who was dying of cancer, professed herself sorry for the folks who had no terminal illness. At least, for her, there was no guesswork - just the sobering certainty of a relatively accurate timeline (she actually lived 3 more weeks after her "use-by" date, as she put it....).
For most folks, there was a complete unknown, total speculation, and that, she was sure, lulled us all into a false sense of security, and a dangerously lax complacency.
I now, (as I have stated ad nauseam) 'take tea with Yama' on a very regular basis. Because (and again, I repeat myself) when, one day, he finally lays his hand upon my shoulder and beckons me follow him - I will not be able to refuse.
I quite enjoy our little chats over the cucumber sandwiches......
Your experience is an excellent opportunity to open up to the experience of facing the truth of death. Learn what you can now, because you will need it again someday.
I'm not dead yet, but I know what it is to look death in the face and every time I do it gets easier. What a strange blessing!
I know it's silly but before that happens you don't even know yu are afraid of death, and after it passes you forget all about it after a while :P