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Frequent homicidal/rape/suicidal urges

satxsatx
edited February 2010 in Buddhism Basics
Hello everyone,

New to the forums but not terribly new to Buddhism. I understand the concepts on an intellectual level but it can be difficult to put them into practice. I've also been wary of Buddhism since reading a very cogent critique of it by anti-civilization writer and activist, Derrick Jensen. He basically says that Buddhism is wack because it can lead people into complacence which prevents them from doing what is necessary to stop trampling of human (and non-human) rights and destruction of the earth, among other urgent problems facing the world today. Here is a link to it: http://www.endgamethebook.org/Excerpts/16-Love-Pacifism.html What do y'all think?

Anyway, back to the matter at hand. I am an angry person, as you can see from the title, and have been so for a long time. I have been using Jensen's argument to prevent myself from seeking peace, because I tell myself it would be selfish of me to look for inner peace when there's so much horrible suffering going on in the world that I can help prevent, through violent means in particular. Lately though, I just want to find relief for my suffering, which I think is partly self-imposed, and which I think manifests itself through these violent thoughts I have. Has anyone else ever been in my boat and has changed? Sorry, but I'm not really looking for advice from people who have never had frequent violent thoughts. Not that your perspectives aren't valid, but I won't be able to relate to you and I will not take you seriously (just being honest). I really only want to hear from people who used to have been extremely angry and violent but have changed for whatever reason.

Thanks...

Comments

  • questionfulquestionful
    edited February 2010
    i don't think i've ever had frequent violent thoughts. but i used to fantasize about killing politicians. to send a message to other politicians. to try to scare the rest of them into cutting the bullshit. they were amusing but stupid fantasies.

    i cannot address all of Derrick Jensen's claims, but I insist that his opinion of buddhism is ignorant, and will not help you.

    meditate every day, try to learn stuff online about buddhism every day, through videos or reading, or asking questions on this forum. these things will help you even though they sound boring and "complacent".

    that's the best advice i can give right now.
  • river_cadenceriver_cadence
    edited February 2010
    He basically says that Buddhism is wack because it can lead people into complacence which prevents them from doing what is necessary to stop trampling of human (and non-human) rights and destruction of the earth, among other urgent problems facing the world today.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Engaged_Buddhism
  • DazzleDazzle
    edited February 2010
    He basically says that Buddhism is wack because it can lead people into complacence which prevents them from doing what is necessary to stop trampling of human (and non-human) rights and destruction of the earth,


    http://www.ecobuddhism.org/


    http://www.inebnetwork.org/web/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=46&Itemid=48


    Hope that helps to address some of the claims you mentioned, Satx. There are lots of Buddhists actively helping in society in many, many ways.


    Kind regards,

    Dazzle


    .
  • AnupassīAnupassī
    edited February 2010
    This is somewhat similar. My mind has obsessive tendencies towards physically destructive sexuality and degradation. I won't describe it in any detail, because some might find it nauseating. Generally, though, they pop up rather frequently. It used to make me self-disgusted: every time a thought popped up, I'd clench my fists, my muscles would tighten, and my mood would noticeably worsen. But that didn't do a thing. It just got worse, the images and thoughts would pop up more frequently, and eventually I felt a bit maddened.

    So I just allowed it to be, observed it, dispassionately watching the arising and ceasing of these obsessive thoughts. They still come and go, but they leave me utterly unmoved. This was really only easy for me once I fully embraced the three marks of existence as truth, not merely with my intellect but with every level and facet of my mind. I am currently interested in their final eradication, but only insofar as I am interested in the eradication of all frivolous thought.
  • mrdude1228mrdude1228
    edited February 2010
    The practice in Buddhism of monitoring & evaluating one's own thoughts has indeed helped me overcome a violent mind. Said thoughts just came and went naturally, and one of the key goals of Buddhism -- becoming mindful -- helped me counteract that.

    The making of this thread shows you're more than competent at realizing your own dangerous thoughts, so I'd say you're already on that path, Buddhist or not. Buddhist writings on metta or mindfulness may prove helpful regardless, as they did for me.

    P.S.
    As an aside, I also had feelings of "Who am I to separate from society to enlighten myself?" But, I'd say, that issue was largely in my head. Unless you go full-on forest retreat with Buddhist studies, chances are you're still going to encounter other people, with whom you can practice the use of positive energy :)
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