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Preparing to Die
I'm taking a death and dying class at my college. What we discussed today was the five emotional stages of dying which include 1. Shock/Denial 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression and 5. Acceptance.
I told my teacher that I have been studying different philosophies, especially buddhism, because I want to be prepared to die so I can live a good life. It seems like a paradox, but I am not obsessivly thinking about death either. I simply wish to be prepared. Does anyone else have similar feelings?
I told my teacher that I have been studying different philosophies, especially buddhism, because I want to be prepared to die so I can live a good life. It seems like a paradox, but I am not obsessivly thinking about death either. I simply wish to be prepared. Does anyone else have similar feelings?
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but i've never had any near death experiences, so idk if that would scare me into worrying.
It was the intimate sharing of that final loving and tender moment of letting-go that is my most vivid memory of being with the dying. It was the sweetest gift I've ever received. I remember sitting with my arms embracing the dying, holding their head cradled in my arm, my hand over their heart, whispering, "relax, you know what to do, just let it go" Yes, the dying KNOW just what to do.
And this was my greatest lesson on how to live life. I live as if I'm dying in each and every moment, just like my greatest teachers who in the moment of death showed me how to live. Live in this moment as if it was my last, take in and cherish this breath as if it were my last, appreciate each and every thing as if it were my last impression. Continually ask myself - What if this is the last moment?
What if this is the last moment? How do you want to go out? It's not about whether or not you will die. Your gonna die! It's about how you're gonna go out? I wanna go out Happy and at Peace, imagining I've done all I can to end harm in each moment of this life so goodness may arise.
Basically, what he said.
Good post, BB.
The Buddha has similar feelings. Here, here, here, here, here and here.
When I was a very young child, my father was extremely ill for a prolonged period of time, many years. At bedtime, every night, my mom would always say to my sister and me, “Pray for your father to die," and we did.
So I never really saw death as a horrible thing, but more like a blessed relief for those who are suffering unmercifully. It was a promise of relief.
But, then I don’t really think I ever expected my father to really die, not really. Death remained just words to me.
I guess what I am really saying is, that death has many faces. One of them has to be surprise.
Also I think that seeing death, or thinking about death, must be different than actually experiencing death personally. For instance, I think that for most people the body instinctively remains afraid to die, a survival mechanism, even while the mind very well may have made peace with the whole ‘idea’ of death.
I too have been there, at bedside, with many people at the hour of their physical death. I have watched and heard the last expiration leave their body many times.
Like Bob, I must say that it somehow 'the hour of death' seems sacred and certainly like a privilege to share such a thing with another, very intimate, even with a stranger. There is nothing else quite like it. Not even the moment of birth, which I have also witnessed many times.
Somehow, I can’t really explain why, but death still remains very mysterious to me, a little like the "Holy of Holies" in the Jewish temple, if you will.
Perhaps the most difficult face of death is watching someone you care for a great deal, seemingly disappear from your life, and then having to continue without them, day after day, without any real guarantee that you will ever meet them again. This is a hollow/empty feeling, and yet at the same time an all incompassing pain that is not duplicated in any other way that I have seen or felt. It can feel like someone ripped out ½ of you heart, and left it bleeding and alone, with no successful way to repair it.
Grief is not something you can stir around. It is something you must walk throw and burn until it recedes, leaving this battle in ashes.
Perhaps in this way, life can be a whole lot more scary than death is, at times.
Warm Regards,
S9
Ain't that da truf man.
Facing our death may be the ultimate fear but our lives are filled with fear moment to moment. Fear of failure, fear of not being as good as others, fear of not being good enough, fear of not appearing strong, and on and on. To be able to let go of that which we fight hardest for (our survival), is perfect practice for letting go of all of these day to day fears. The end of struggling.
Namaste
I mean, don't we all?
Isn't that why we're here?