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Am I Buddhist?

edited March 2010 in Buddhism Basics
I don't consider myself such necessarily, but my experience and life seem to keep pulling me in this direction. I know Buddhism is technically a philosophy and not a religion, but I still think I'm refraining to "subscribing" to Buddhism for fear of just belonging another dogmatic religion; I have a hard time discerning Dharma from dogma. From what I can tell, my philosophy fits the bill for being a Buddhist, but simply have not considered myself one. I've been practicing meditation for a good year now, and have had incredible, indescribable things happen to me during the last year.
During one session over the summer, I was enveloped by a white light, and as I let myself sink into it, I lost all sense of myself previous to that moment. I was outside of time and space, experiencing a reality far more real than our waking one. Then, it was as if God or something of the like "said" (more like conveyed an understanding) to me; "this is a gift for you and all mankind". I was then "touched" on my forehead, and understood that God is wholly within us and everything, that we are ultimately self-created and pass judgment upon ourselves in the face of the infinite consciousness that is inherent in all of us. Every cell in my body became ecstatic and screamed its existence to me, and I was left trembling in tears of joy for a good 30 minutes. It's pretty obvious to me that I was intended to share my experience with others, but a) I don't know exactly what to make of it, other than exactly what it appears to be and b) how to go about telling the experience without coming across as crazy.

Well, anyways, that's my intro and all, and now I'll wait for feedback and peruse some forums

Comments

  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited March 2010
    I take it you have continued meditating, since then?
    It was an experience.
    I'm very glad for you that you had it.
    Now?
    Forget it.
    Use it to build your own progress, and to underpin your practice.
    But don't attach too much importance to it, in and of itself.

    This is often a reaction of the mind to a state we put ourselves into whilst meditating.
    The secret is to observe such phenomena without getting too agitated.
    Simply understand it as a process. Observe the benefit, but observe also the disadvantage.

    Occasionally, we are fooled into thinking that we have reached a destination, that we have achieved something, that we have arrived at a stage in our meditation which gives us an added lift.
    It's simply a phenomenon that we experience.
    Enjoy it, but then, concentrate on relaxation and letting go.

    Buddhism is ultimately, what you make of it, and what it makes of you.
    It's a discipline, it's a calling.
    It is a religion, practised by millions worldwide.
    With Monks, nuns and temples, by lamas and laypeople.

    What you do with the basic fundamental teachings, and how you implement them, is up to you.

    I wish you well.
    With metta,
    Fede.
  • DhammaDhatuDhammaDhatu Veteran
    edited March 2010
    ...but a) I don't know exactly what to make of it, other than exactly what it appears to be and b) how to go about telling the experience without coming across as crazy.
    Welcome friend

    Thank you for sharing your beautiful story.

    What to make of it? To me, it sounded like a temporary experience so I can only recommend to continue to practise so this state of mind can be more lasting in your life.

    Also, do you need to tell many people? My opinion is sharing with your spiritual friends (like us) is OK because we do not think you are crazy. We are inspired & glad. But others may think you are crazy because they are not interested in spiritual matters.

    My recommendation is for you to develop this meditation more & more so you can lessen your exhuberance and at the same time study via your direct observation more deeply what is happening.

    The Buddha taught the most exalted spiritual state of liberation is still just nature, just a natural experience, just mind, just mind & matter liberating itself via letting go & purification.

    Kind regards

    DDhatu

    :)
  • edited March 2010
    Maverick, it wold seem that you may have fallen or delved into the first jhana, a meditative state of absorption that I would agree is characterized by "light"; there is nothing external in this experience, only internal. Any thoughts you would have at that point would be your own, and would be based upon your life experience and state of being prior to the jhanic episode itself.

    The Buddha did in fact teach that many, having achieved this state, would mistake it for an "end" instead of the beginning. I think that many people who claim to have had a religious experience that changed their lives have in fact gone this route, and they took it to be a confirmation of their beliefs.

    There are in fact four jhanas to enter, each one progressively deeper and unfettering you further. They're nice enough of an experience, and you can dwell in the jhanas for an extraordinary amount of time if you've already become disillusioned with the concept of 'self', but they are only a temporary enjoyment, as someone else mentioned above.

    You can master all of the jhanas and still not reach enlightenment. It is through correct understanding of the teachings, applying the tenets of Buddhism in daily life, and finally being able to meditate upon them fully to the point of realization (*knowing* them, not just understanding or believing) that you will reach full awakening.

    Good luck my friend.
  • edited March 2010
    I like to imagine Buddhism as training, rather than either philosophy or religion.

    In this training there are many experiences, some pleasant some unpleasant. The training calls for us to learn to have no attachment to these experiences, just 'that's nice' and let it go!
  • DhammaDhatuDhammaDhatu Veteran
    edited March 2010
    Aldrisang wrote: »
    Maverick, it wold seem that you may have fallen or delved into the first jhana...
    No jhana there.

    Best not to produce another deluded internet Buddhist who believes an experience of momentary concentration & rapture is jhana.

    Please.


    :buck:
  • edited March 2010
    Huh? now how the heck would you know that?? Buddha?

    My guess is you meant to speak for yourself?

    Like DD has never had a Jhanic experience?
  • edited March 2010
    I couldn't say for sure whether or not he had, but you can't discount the possibility. I once spent between 3 and 4 hours in the first jhana; if I didn't know what it was I was experiencing, I may have thought it something else. Let us not assume a pessimistic attitude.
  • DhammaDhatuDhammaDhatu Veteran
    edited March 2010
    Stephen wrote: »
    I once spent between 3 and 4 hours in the first jhana; if I didn't know what it was I was experiencing, I may have thought it something else.
    you did not spend time in the first jhana

    if you did, you would have known clearly the poster did not spend time in the first jhana

    also, if you had spend time in the first jhana, the mind would have been so empty of 'self', you would never say "I spent time in the first jhana"

    :)
  • edited March 2010
    You're entitled to your opinion DD, but why you would come here trying to cause discord and tell everyone else they're wrong is beyond me. It isn't the way a Buddhist should behave, and of course no one can truly know another. I shall not enter into an argument with you over that which I know so well and you can only guess.
  • DeshyDeshy Veteran
    edited March 2010
    The jhana experiences are very well described by Ajhan Brahmn in his book. As per the book I am sure I have not had a jhana experience so far because from what Ajhan brahm says jhanas are very deep meditative states. From what I remember inside the first jhana a person

    1) Has totally abandoned the five sensory world. Even if someone hits you on the head you wouldn't know
    2) You have lost the doer portion of the mind. Only the knower is present so that a person's sense of control is not there anymore. This is the beginning of experiencing the none-self

    and so on...
  • edited March 2010
    For me it always works to start with meditation on the breath, and after the stilling of the breath to become aware of a blissful sensation. You don't try to force your mind to become suffused by this sensation; your mind does that all on its own. All you have to do is remain aware of it, and keep it centered in your mind. There is a point where it seems you are literally pulled into that state of peace/bliss where nothing else matters. You can still hear, but that's about it. You have no directed thought at that point, as you're enveloped by bliss and have no desire but to remain. Though you can't really "see" at this point, it does appear by the mental-eye as a pure white light.

    The pain is moving beyond this point. I think I've touched upon the second jhana, but the first is such an experience to let go, and I haven't quite mastered it yet. I've only entered the first jhana a handful of times or a little more, and only once for a lengthy period of time. You could've cut my leg off and I would've only cared if I had to come out of it to seek medical attention. ;)

    I can't really say anything beyond the first. There was something I experienced beyond it that seemed to flip the pure white light into pure blackness or nothingness. I haven't done any research on it to find out yet. It was only for maybe ten minutes or so and it felt more empty than blissful. But empty in a good way.

    BTW I found this to help anyone who has the desire to attain the first jhana: http://www.urbandharma.org/udharma7/enterjhana.html.
  • DhammaDhatuDhammaDhatu Veteran
    edited March 2010
    Stephen wrote: »
    BTW I found this to help anyone who has the desire to attain the first jhana: http://www.urbandharma.org/udharma7/enterjhana.html.
    Stephen

    The excerpt below is not about the first jhana. In either access concentration or jhana, one does not have to search for the pleasant feeling. It arises so obviously in the mind. It becomes a distinct and salient object of meditation.

    In brief, what Leigh has described below is not the first jhana.

    :)





    The first question that may arise when I say “Shift your attention to a pleasant sensation” is “What pleasant sensation?” Well, it turns out that when you get to access concentration, the odds are quite strong that some place in your physical being there will be a pleasant sensation. Smile when you meditate, because when you reach access concentration, you only have to shift your attention one inch to find the pleasant sensation.



    When you get to access concentration, if you notice that there’s a nice pleasant feeling in the hands, drop the attention on the breath and focus entirely on the pleasantness of that sensation.


    You find the pleasant sensation, and shift your attention to the pleasant sensation. You observe the pleasantness of the pleasant sensation, and do nothing else. If you can do that, the pleasant sensation will begin to grow in intensity, it will become stronger…and then eventually it will suddenly take off and take you into what is obviously an altered state of consciousness.


    In this altered state of consciousness, you will be overcome with Rapture ... Euphoria … Ecstasy … Delight. These are all English words that are used to translate the Pali word pãti. Pãti is this physical sensation that literally takes you over and takes you into an altered state. It will be accompanied by an emotional sensation of joy and happiness. The Pali word is sukha, the opposite of dukkha [pain, suffering]. And, if you remain one-pointed on this experience of pãti and sukha—that is the first jhana.

  • DhammaDhatuDhammaDhatu Veteran
    edited March 2010
    In access concentration and in attainment (jhana) concentration, there is a quality that sets it apart from momentary concentration.

    That quality is the piti (rapture) & sukha (happiness) are seen clearly by the mind as dukkha rather than happiness.

    When approaching rapture & happiness, in access or attainment concentration, the mind is established in deep calm. So when the mind breaks out in rapture due to the calming of the breath/body/nervous system, the feeling of rapture is felt as disturbing.

    Here, consciousness or awareness is so still, so at peace & so still, it is actually quite detached from the feelings (vedana) of rapture & happiness that arise.

    But when the mind becomes infatuated with the rapture & happiness and sees itself as the rapture & happiness, it is not jhana because the samadhi (stillness, detachment, clarity, purity) is simply not deep enough.

    When the mind loses control with rapture and cannot sleep at night, etc, this is momentary rapture from momentary concentration.

    In jhana, awareness has so much detachment from the rapture & happiness. In jhana, the rapture & happiness are seen as having the three marks, namely, impermanence, unsatisfactoriness & not-self.

    Kind regards

    DDhatu

    :smilec:
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