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Am I Buddhist?
I don't consider myself such necessarily, but my experience and life seem to keep pulling me in this direction. I know Buddhism is technically a philosophy and not a religion, but I still think I'm refraining to "subscribing" to Buddhism for fear of just belonging another dogmatic religion; I have a hard time discerning Dharma from dogma. From what I can tell, my philosophy fits the bill for being a Buddhist, but simply have not considered myself one. I've been practicing meditation for a good year now, and have had incredible, indescribable things happen to me during the last year.
During one session over the summer, I was enveloped by a white light, and as I let myself sink into it, I lost all sense of myself previous to that moment. I was outside of time and space, experiencing a reality far more real than our waking one. Then, it was as if God or something of the like "said" (more like conveyed an understanding) to me; "this is a gift for you and all mankind". I was then "touched" on my forehead, and understood that God is wholly within us and everything, that we are ultimately self-created and pass judgment upon ourselves in the face of the infinite consciousness that is inherent in all of us. Every cell in my body became ecstatic and screamed its existence to me, and I was left trembling in tears of joy for a good 30 minutes. It's pretty obvious to me that I was intended to share my experience with others, but a) I don't know exactly what to make of it, other than exactly what it appears to be and b) how to go about telling the experience without coming across as crazy.
Well, anyways, that's my intro and all, and now I'll wait for feedback and peruse some forums
During one session over the summer, I was enveloped by a white light, and as I let myself sink into it, I lost all sense of myself previous to that moment. I was outside of time and space, experiencing a reality far more real than our waking one. Then, it was as if God or something of the like "said" (more like conveyed an understanding) to me; "this is a gift for you and all mankind". I was then "touched" on my forehead, and understood that God is wholly within us and everything, that we are ultimately self-created and pass judgment upon ourselves in the face of the infinite consciousness that is inherent in all of us. Every cell in my body became ecstatic and screamed its existence to me, and I was left trembling in tears of joy for a good 30 minutes. It's pretty obvious to me that I was intended to share my experience with others, but a) I don't know exactly what to make of it, other than exactly what it appears to be and b) how to go about telling the experience without coming across as crazy.
Well, anyways, that's my intro and all, and now I'll wait for feedback and peruse some forums
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Comments
It was an experience.
I'm very glad for you that you had it.
Now?
Forget it.
Use it to build your own progress, and to underpin your practice.
But don't attach too much importance to it, in and of itself.
This is often a reaction of the mind to a state we put ourselves into whilst meditating.
The secret is to observe such phenomena without getting too agitated.
Simply understand it as a process. Observe the benefit, but observe also the disadvantage.
Occasionally, we are fooled into thinking that we have reached a destination, that we have achieved something, that we have arrived at a stage in our meditation which gives us an added lift.
It's simply a phenomenon that we experience.
Enjoy it, but then, concentrate on relaxation and letting go.
Buddhism is ultimately, what you make of it, and what it makes of you.
It's a discipline, it's a calling.
It is a religion, practised by millions worldwide.
With Monks, nuns and temples, by lamas and laypeople.
What you do with the basic fundamental teachings, and how you implement them, is up to you.
I wish you well.
With metta,
Fede.
Thank you for sharing your beautiful story.
What to make of it? To me, it sounded like a temporary experience so I can only recommend to continue to practise so this state of mind can be more lasting in your life.
Also, do you need to tell many people? My opinion is sharing with your spiritual friends (like us) is OK because we do not think you are crazy. We are inspired & glad. But others may think you are crazy because they are not interested in spiritual matters.
My recommendation is for you to develop this meditation more & more so you can lessen your exhuberance and at the same time study via your direct observation more deeply what is happening.
The Buddha taught the most exalted spiritual state of liberation is still just nature, just a natural experience, just mind, just mind & matter liberating itself via letting go & purification.
Kind regards
DDhatu
The Buddha did in fact teach that many, having achieved this state, would mistake it for an "end" instead of the beginning. I think that many people who claim to have had a religious experience that changed their lives have in fact gone this route, and they took it to be a confirmation of their beliefs.
There are in fact four jhanas to enter, each one progressively deeper and unfettering you further. They're nice enough of an experience, and you can dwell in the jhanas for an extraordinary amount of time if you've already become disillusioned with the concept of 'self', but they are only a temporary enjoyment, as someone else mentioned above.
You can master all of the jhanas and still not reach enlightenment. It is through correct understanding of the teachings, applying the tenets of Buddhism in daily life, and finally being able to meditate upon them fully to the point of realization (*knowing* them, not just understanding or believing) that you will reach full awakening.
Good luck my friend.
In this training there are many experiences, some pleasant some unpleasant. The training calls for us to learn to have no attachment to these experiences, just 'that's nice' and let it go!
Best not to produce another deluded internet Buddhist who believes an experience of momentary concentration & rapture is jhana.
Please.
:buck:
My guess is you meant to speak for yourself?
Like DD has never had a Jhanic experience?
You might like to read this book
http://books.google.com.my/books?id=CrTRvmN9wQUC&dq=mindfulness+bliss+brahm&printsec=frontcover&source=bn&hl=en&ei=kUGXS7u1EMfBrAfXj_H2Cw&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=5&ved=0CBYQ6AEwBA#v=onepage&q=&f=false
if you did, you would have known clearly the poster did not spend time in the first jhana
also, if you had spend time in the first jhana, the mind would have been so empty of 'self', you would never say "I spent time in the first jhana"
1) Has totally abandoned the five sensory world. Even if someone hits you on the head you wouldn't know
2) You have lost the doer portion of the mind. Only the knower is present so that a person's sense of control is not there anymore. This is the beginning of experiencing the none-self
and so on...
The pain is moving beyond this point. I think I've touched upon the second jhana, but the first is such an experience to let go, and I haven't quite mastered it yet. I've only entered the first jhana a handful of times or a little more, and only once for a lengthy period of time. You could've cut my leg off and I would've only cared if I had to come out of it to seek medical attention.
I can't really say anything beyond the first. There was something I experienced beyond it that seemed to flip the pure white light into pure blackness or nothingness. I haven't done any research on it to find out yet. It was only for maybe ten minutes or so and it felt more empty than blissful. But empty in a good way.
BTW I found this to help anyone who has the desire to attain the first jhana: http://www.urbandharma.org/udharma7/enterjhana.html.
The excerpt below is not about the first jhana. In either access concentration or jhana, one does not have to search for the pleasant feeling. It arises so obviously in the mind. It becomes a distinct and salient object of meditation.
In brief, what Leigh has described below is not the first jhana.
That quality is the piti (rapture) & sukha (happiness) are seen clearly by the mind as dukkha rather than happiness.
When approaching rapture & happiness, in access or attainment concentration, the mind is established in deep calm. So when the mind breaks out in rapture due to the calming of the breath/body/nervous system, the feeling of rapture is felt as disturbing.
Here, consciousness or awareness is so still, so at peace & so still, it is actually quite detached from the feelings (vedana) of rapture & happiness that arise.
But when the mind becomes infatuated with the rapture & happiness and sees itself as the rapture & happiness, it is not jhana because the samadhi (stillness, detachment, clarity, purity) is simply not deep enough.
When the mind loses control with rapture and cannot sleep at night, etc, this is momentary rapture from momentary concentration.
In jhana, awareness has so much detachment from the rapture & happiness. In jhana, the rapture & happiness are seen as having the three marks, namely, impermanence, unsatisfactoriness & not-self.
Kind regards
DDhatu
:smilec: