It's too easy to get what I desire.

TheFound

I'm in a tough place.

I have been for quite some time.

I understand my desires.

I understand it's self-centered...and based on our philosophy. it's illogical.

Now however, I believe I am an enemy of the ONE.

I'm writing this post, because I just displayed the power of hypnotism...or something similar..
I was able to get something I had no business getting.
I wanted it, so I had someone give it to me..
it was a zero in a million chance, but I made it a 100%.
with intelligence, cunning, persuasion..or hypnotism..

So strong is my desire, it can force the minds of people around me,
E.g: What Hitler did was childs play, once you understand the basics..and this is no ego masturbation, I'm serious.

Anyway recently I've been putting myself into the position of renunciation....Trying...
BUT!!!
as if the universe were testing me!
they are throwing at me riches, women, stimulation.., conquest, etc...
like I've never seen.

I seriously, just work a close to minimum wage job, basic college education drop-out....
There's nothing special about me....
but
If i wanted money badly enough....I could get money..
If I wanted women badly enough.... I could get women,
If I wanted fame...that's too easy..

What do I want then? those things yeah.. I like those things..
but the ONLY thing that seems too hard to get,
is Enlightenment.
You can't play on the desires of the masses to attain enlightenment,
you can't trick someone or outsmart someone into enlightenment...

The problem being perhaps, that I can't outsmart myself, into enlightenment...

I honestly believe that a billion dollars, is easier to get than enlightenment.

So wtf are we supposed to do?
The 8 fold path, etc?
We are battling a monster here.
We are ALL against an army of demons, 1 vs 2,000,000 demons each of us.......

They are strong. They are cunning,They can deceive you easily..
It's their job..the only thing keeping them alive is the sole purpose of ruining you...and me...

What's our next move?!

kenny

While our experience greatly differs my thought on the end of suffering was much the same. How is it possible, when one has all these “demons”? My answer was I had an attachment to those demons. One must just let them go all together, stop measuring oneself against them. They do not exist if you let them go as they are in your mind only. Key is to give up the worldly ways we have become accustom to. Hardest part of the path is believing it’s hard in the first place.