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How to explain to non-Buddhists why you don't drink.
Hi, I have been gradually getting into Buddhism over the past two years. I know it's incredibly obvious that you're not supposed to drink because it causes an unnatural state of mind. Being in college I have had my nights, as we all have, and have done many things I'm not proud of. In the beginning of this school year (august 2009) I decided to cut out all alcohol except for beer because I can monitor how I'm being affected easily and it kept me from having to explain to people why I don't drink when I'm hanging out on a friday night. I have now decided to just cut out all alcohol completely because if you're not drinking a beer or two for the taste, then you're drinking it to run away from reality, and I'm not inclined towards either option 
I'm wondering what everyone's own experiences are with telling people they don't drink because of their religious decisions. I have a lot of friends who are not bad people, but I think would be incredibly confused if I tried to explain why I do not drink anymore. Any advice?
I'm wondering what everyone's own experiences are with telling people they don't drink because of their religious decisions. I have a lot of friends who are not bad people, but I think would be incredibly confused if I tried to explain why I do not drink anymore. Any advice? 0
Comments
There is a big difference between drinking and being a drunkard!
The whole precept is about intoxicants and one must be weary one isnt being dominated by the orthodoxy when one takes it to the extream of absitance.
When it comes to drink you could try the middle path between self rightous abstinance and having issues with your practice and your wider life from drink or drugs.
This is your own choice but dont tell them the buddha says never drink unless you are certain he does:)
Salut!
Mat
For me, there is really no need to give a reason.
All one really needs to say is "I have decided to stop drinking".
However, one can also say "I have started to practice Buddhism".
Kind regards
When I get asked why I'm not drinking much I just tell them that I don't enjoy it.
The other way is to have a beer & make it last, hang on to the bottle and when people ask if you want another just wave the bottle and say "No, I'm fine!".
The only downside is when everyone is drunk & you're sober you realize that drunks aren't as funny as you thought.
Shiver slightly after you say this. They never ask again.
There is no easy answer, but by definition you should not have to explain yourself to your friends. If your choices are so different than your friends, you may end up changing friends. But I suspect you want to hold on to your current friends and you're a lay Buddhist (as I am). If so, I'd limit my drinking severely (1 beer per outing if possible) and not be inclined to explain. If you lose your friends because you won't routinely get blasted with them, you'll have to make a choice. Best of luck, tough at your age, but it will get easier.
I usually say "It interferes with my exercise".
Or alternatively "it interferes with my meditation", depending on who wants to know.
Where i live, when someone doesn't drink, he's usually considered an alcoholic or a fanatic.
But I'm in my 40s.
In university it would have been difficult not to drink because every social situation that didn't involve chess, bird watching, or collecting stamps, included drinking.
But wow! I admire you very much for what you're doing.
I can also tell you that if you drink like me and my friends and many, many other people did when we were your age and you successfully stop or radically cut down, you're going to be years ahead of people by the time you graduate. Over-consumption of alcohol over a period of years, like the 3 or 4 years of college, often results in arrested development. Really. And quite seriously for some people.
Avoiding the drinking trap at your age may be one of the most important things you will ever do for yourself and others.
Go for it.
I'd let that be the reason you don't drink anymore.
There are situations that sometimes we do when we interact with others.
It also works to be the designated driver.
With close friends you can mention your vows to avoid the use of intoxicants and say that drinking interferes with a clear mind ready to meditate.
Or simply just don't drink haha, Buddhism isn't a religion man. It's just about walking through life as sanely and sensibly as possible. Buddha gives you a path for it, and really if they're your friends they should be completely fine with you not drinking.
Seriously just tell them you don't drink. If they ask why tell them its part of your religious beliefs.
When I'm out with my friends (meaning that they'll buy some drinks) they always ask me why I don't drink.
The answer: because alcohol is bad for me. Maybe you should tell them this. No more, no less.
And I don't like the effect it has on me.
and it's bad for my liver.
And seeing others drunk or whatever, is immensely hilarious.
it gives me a hold over them, and I can relay what they did while drunk, back to them, with glee and a certain superior attitude.
"I mean, you've never seen yourself drunk, have you? Man, you are a blast... you totally lost it, and what a plonker you were...."
That's a cracker.
HGAHAHHAHAHA I FELL OUT OF MY CHAIR!!!! and my dog started barking at me I was laughing so much... AHHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHA
more seriously, I drink infinitely more than all of you put together..
Beers mostly, I am Canadian..that's why. drinking a beer right now actually...
It sucks when you get addicted to it, IF you don't get addicted its fine.
the precepts are guidelines, you have to ask why?
Why, "not consume mind altering substances"..?
Obvious in so many ways,
E.G: recently around here in the news, an underage kid got drunk, decided to have a nap.... and listen to his mp3 player.. outside in the cold winter... ON TRAIN TRACKS.. he was promptly eviscerated by a train..and died.
#2. A young man went to a popular club, was underage, after being in the club and getting wasted he got carded, they threw him out of the club, without his coat or his friends.., into the cold...he went to a parking lot and died of hyopthermia....WTF EH? i happen to live close to there and there's millions of houses, even 24/7 cafe's and stuff there not a spits distance away.. he was too drunk i guess and died...
if you don't get wasted like this and die, and if you don't get addicted or hurt anyone or your own health.. drinking is fine I think.
but it may be true that if you die drunk you will be reborn retarded... (i heard someone say that lol, ........no lol)
Say , "Bruce Lee didn't drink"
LOL he was the man. I think he even has a book of aphorisms that is really cool. :P
I don't drink. People ask me if I want to drink anything and I say I just don't. They usually don't ask me the reasons. If they did I would just say I don't like the taste, or I would just look at them with a look that says "are you an idiot?" and say something like "I don't need a reason not to drink". Depends on who I would be talking to :P
I've never had to "explain" myself at all. Friends always found it sufficient when I said "I don't drink". If for someone alcohol is a very important part of their life, I just don't get close to them.
Probably the same motivations that make some Christian doctrines against homosexuality:)
And I am!
I don't know histrionically but I'd say "being drunk" pretty much does away with at least 6 steps of the path. I always took the precept to mean being intoxicated so you can't think / behave with wisdom or ethically, not having a glass of wine. Unless that glass is to help you relax... Lord the more I think about the more complex the string tangle becomes.
While googling for more information, I found this. ... but it is for the monastic order.
It is also interesting that the Buddha's teaching to the Kalamas (Kalama Sutta) talks about five moral values:
1. .... not kill a living creature,
2. not take what is not given,
3. not go with another's wife,
4. not speak what is false, and
5. not encourage other to act to the contrary.
The consumption of intoxicating drinks is not mentioned in the Kalama-Sutta but the 'slot' for this is replaced by something else. So... if you're a drinking buddhist, the Kalama-Sutta is for you...
But seriously, can anyone point to a sutta that discourages the taking of intoxicating drinks by lay practitioners.
please read the Gihi Sutta for a layperson (householders) guide http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/an/an05/an05.179.than.html
The word heedlessness is quite important here. In the Eight Fold Path we are taught right concentration and right mindfulness http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/sn/sn45/sn45.008.than.html. How can we have right concentration and mindfulness if we are drunk?
People tend to forget that Buddhism is not a presice measure, it is bendable to suit all. Never once does it say "thou shalt not..." Some people loose heedlessness on one drink, therefore no alcohol is best for them. Some people can have two or three. But if you really want to know how much alcohol makes one begin to loose concentration just take a look at all the scientific studies about alcohol and its effects on the brain. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Short-term_effects_of_alcohol
Many sects of Buddhism will have it's own rules for laypersons and monastics (vinaya). Many Japanese and some Chinese schools allow monastics to drink, some do not. Some of this may be dogma, but some are simply the house rules.
At the end of the day it's up to us. Use your head, ask yourself, study yourself, question, investigate.
ab·stain<SCRIPT>play_w2("A0028400")</SCRIPT>
intr.v. ab·stained, ab·stain·ing, ab·stains 1. To refrain from something by one's own choice: abstain from traditional political rhetoric.
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/abstain
Nios.
No problemo
Meat - yes, ... but alcohol?
Mtns