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Family trouble

TreehuggerTreehugger
edited March 2010 in Buddhism Basics
I joined a local Zen meditation group a couple weeks ago, and just over the weekend, had a very heated argument with my father about it. He thinks that "whatever it is that I'm doing" isn't worth my time, and is something that I should immediately stop. However, I have my suspicions that he doesn't know exactly what it is that I'm doing.

How can I convince my father that my meditation practice is something that doesn't conflict with my personal life, and it is a noble cause?

Comments

  • StephenStephen
    edited March 2010
    You're probably right; he has no idea what it is exactly that you are doing. In that case, the only remedy would be to try explaining it to him.
  • Micsunderland3Micsunderland3
    edited March 2010
    Ya, it would appear as though talking about what exactly it is you are doing would be the best approach

    If you are fairly familiar with the reasons behind Zen meditation (which i assume you will, since you are a part of a group), then i think it would be easy for you to explain to your father that it is very much worth your time.
  • DeshyDeshy Veteran
    edited March 2010
    Oh I have the same problem with my mum. Tried to reason out with her but sometimes she doesn't get it. It takes time you know. With time and persistence, he will slowly get what you are doing. Keep telling him things about Dhamma, happiness, calm and peace. Point things out when he is angry, sad or suffering; things like why he is suffering and how he can put an end to it. If you keep telling things with time he will slowly warm upto the idea
  • kicktotheheadkicktothehead
    edited March 2010
    Yeah I am surrounded by friends and family who actually laugh when I tell them I enjoy meditating...never mind mentioning Zen....
    At first it was hard on me and I tried to explain things a bit but conversation after conversation still...no one could really "get" why...then again no one that I know can fathom how I am agnostic but that's neither here nor there....I finally decided...who cares what they think? If they want to keep a closed mind then so be it. That's their choice.

    I simply don't talk about it with them anymore and I practice on my own and life goes on. We all get along great and things are fine but I choose not to talk about my experiences with them any more.
  • fivebellsfivebells Veteran
    edited March 2010
    Is it necessary that he approve your practice?

    "Kill your family, kill your teacher, kill the Buddha."
  • NiosNios Veteran
    edited March 2010
    Hi Treehugger,

    Why not invite him along?
    I second everyone elses suggestion of talking about it as well.

    Nios.
  • skydancerskydancer Veteran
    edited March 2010
    Treehugger wrote: »
    I joined a local Zen meditation group a couple weeks ago, and just over the weekend, had a very heated argument with my father about it. He thinks that "whatever it is that I'm doing" isn't worth my time, and is something that I should immediately stop. However, I have my suspicions that he doesn't know exactly what it is that I'm doing.

    How can I convince my father that my meditation practice is something that doesn't conflict with my personal life, and it is a noble cause?
    The best way for you to convince your father that meditation practice is worthwhile is to practice without talking to him about it. Let him see your presence of mind and open heartedness toward him.

    It sounds like he is afraid of something and wants something for you. It would be amazing to let him have all his objections to your meditation without buying into any of it.

    Strong practice--this dad of yours.

    I think it can be fun to create a script of all the things you'd love to hear from your father and offer it back to yourself. Give yourself the fatherly pride and unconditional love and acceptance for your meditation practice.

    You may be your dad's only connection to Buddhism in his lifetime. It's a sobering thought.

    Do your best and first and foremost be kind to yourself. It isn't so great to argue about the dharma. If you can talk to dad without arguing its one thing. Only you can determine what is in both of your best self interests.
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