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Love or what !
Hello everyone.
I'm quite new to Buddhism but I've been into it for the last couple of months now, and it's helping me a lot. But there is one thing that I still can't understand.
That thing is love! What is love? I've had a girlfriend for the past 3 years we broke up 4 or 5 months now I tried a couple of time to get back to her, but she has a boyfriend and keeps attached to the bast and to my bad actions so I accepted the fact that I won't have her as my girlfriend I did overcome all the jealousy and hatred for the fact that she carried on and I got stuck.
I talked to her recently and wished her all the best and I meant it from the bottom of my heart, all I want her is to be happy.
Now, I get the feeling that I won't be able to have another girlfriend, I mean, the relationship we had was MUCH more than sex, and I'm the kind of guy that loves the cuddling and the sweet lovely talk, I'm a romantic eheh. And I can't picture myself with anyone else but her.
I've even been thinking about celibate, I'm only 18 though.
What you have to say about this?
Regards
I'm quite new to Buddhism but I've been into it for the last couple of months now, and it's helping me a lot. But there is one thing that I still can't understand.
That thing is love! What is love? I've had a girlfriend for the past 3 years we broke up 4 or 5 months now I tried a couple of time to get back to her, but she has a boyfriend and keeps attached to the bast and to my bad actions so I accepted the fact that I won't have her as my girlfriend I did overcome all the jealousy and hatred for the fact that she carried on and I got stuck.
I talked to her recently and wished her all the best and I meant it from the bottom of my heart, all I want her is to be happy.
Now, I get the feeling that I won't be able to have another girlfriend, I mean, the relationship we had was MUCH more than sex, and I'm the kind of guy that loves the cuddling and the sweet lovely talk, I'm a romantic eheh. And I can't picture myself with anyone else but her.
I've even been thinking about celibate, I'm only 18 though.
What you have to say about this?
Regards
0
Comments
Your blessing, your curse and your answer.
The type of love that a Buddhist endeavors to develop is called loving-kindness, or metta, a universal love and compassion for all living beings. This is the greatest love of all.
The further along life's path you are, the more times you change your mind or realize you were wrong. That being said, how you feel now about not ever loving again is not likely to be the case. If the type of relationship you seek requires love and not merely sex, there's nothing wrong with celibacy in the meantime. In fact it would make getting other things done in life easier.
Guess you're right.
Thank you.
Thank you for the words, I'll keep that in mind
Regards
Lets be realistic here, people come and go. If you have something nice going for you, stick with it and put in the effort. If there is no-one around keep moving and living your life. We're all on different journeys and we're not all travelling in the same direction, so don't follow someone else to your detriment.
Anyway, you have a sex drive and there's no need to be so extreme. There's no need to stay away, neither a need to plunge headlong into it. If you're around people a lot then there's a good chance of bumping into someone you like. That way you're sort of indifferent with an opportunity to pursue.
??
So with a different girl it will never be the same exactly. The good news is that your needs for 'someone' can still be met in a different relationship. Just like if you eat a hamburger it won't be the same as chicken but the need to have sustenance can still be met.
You are probably grieving right now. Until you go through that process of grief you won't be so open to the other girls around you. Theres no rush as theres a big difference between the timescale of food and companionship. You can't go long without food, but you can go without a girlfriend.
The essence (I believe) of what buddhism means by universal love is being sensitive to the situation at hand. Sometimes it means being open to a new girl. Sometimes it means taking some time to grieve. But the wish in universal love is for yourself and all beings to be free from suffering!
To fun puzzles ahead:)
Mat
THAT is love.
Thank you all for the replies