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Am I depressed ???

EricEric
edited March 2010 in Buddhism Basics
The things a person sees happening in the world can make me very depressed(The "rape" of the seas,the rainforrest and a 1000 other things!).People tell me not to think about these things because I can`t do anything about them.BUT I CAN`T !!! All might be well one moment and a fruit in the supermarket or some fish (example) can really ruin my "happy" thoughts in a moment.I`ve tried so hard to change the way I think but it does not help.(I think to close your eyes,to be out of contact with your surroundings one of the biggest "no-no`s" a person can do !).
I go through life trying allways to have music by my side because that seems to be the only way I can expell these thoughts.I do see a lot of beautiful things too but often these are threatened and then my mind goes off AGAIN.I really believe the world is at a crossroads and if we don`t do anything drastic soon a lot of the beautiful world will be gone.(In some parts of the oceans there are more plastic-particals in the water than plankton :().Am I depressed,are other people naive ? I know I`m not stupid and all my thoughts have a real basis.How can I change the way I think(It`s ruining my life to a point).Must I meditate ?
I would appreciate any tips,thanks and have a nice weekend;Eric...

If I see something like this it can upset me very much; http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/ngm/0102/feature4/zoom2.html?source=ge-northamerica

Excuse my English,I`m Dutch.:o

Comments

  • louiselouise
    edited March 2010
    you need to embrace your suffering, everywhere there is suffering , you need to meditate on this suffering, without suffering you cannot practice sincerly.
  • skydancerskydancer Veteran
    edited March 2010
    You may be depressed. If so, you can get side tracked and stuck in your meditation process.

    There are practices that antidote depression. It's not always skillful to contemplate suffering. It may be more helpful now to contemplate impermanence.
  • louiselouise
    edited March 2010
    what practices would you recomend skydancer, to someone who is depressed.
  • GlowGlow Veteran
    edited March 2010
    Hi Eric. You might be depressed, but instead of trying to expel your concern for the environment from your mind, perhaps channel it for good. I really believe many people diagnosed with depression are really simply more sensitive to the potential pitfalls of the status quo society -- sort of like humanity's "immune system" if you will. Instead of eradicating your sensitivity, use it as a way of connecting with other people who feel the same way you do. If you stay immobilized, you'll never get a chance to meet with such people. There are many people who have the same sorts of concerns you do and also have the ability to change things -- engineers, policy makers, etc.
  • fivebellsfivebells Veteran
    edited March 2010
    Eric wrote: »
    How can I change the way I think(It`s ruining my life to a point).Must I meditate ?
    I would appreciate any tips,thanks and have a nice weekend;Eric...
    No need to change the semantics of the thoughts, just the emotional relationship to them. Despair is useless. When the despair comes up, open to it, celebrate it, experience it fully, and rest. With time, this will weaken the power of the despair. Yes, meditation of some kind is essential to developing this capacity.
  • skydancerskydancer Veteran
    edited March 2010
    louise wrote: »
    what practices would you recomend skydancer, to someone who is depressed.
    Mindfulness of the body. Walking meditation. Using the breath as a way to stabilize awareness. Cultivating a half smile during formal meditation. Thinking of others and exchanging self for others. Think of all the beings just like you who feel depressed and helpless vow to bear through even one breath of the depression suffering as if you could take away theirs. Depression is an alienating state of selfishness but it doesn't help to judge the one who is depressed. Somehow unconditional kindness must be engaged.

    I'm prone to moods of sadness and sorrow. Sometimes it used to help me to know the difference between sadness or blues and depression. Sometimes I could only tell if I went to the store and had a really depressed cashier wait on me. Then I can open my heart to that person who is a lot worse than I am and wish that she be happy and free of suffering.

    It's a whole training. It's important to have a whole repertoire of possible practices because not evey practice works in the moment for every person.

    I come from a family where mental illness is epidemic. I've been working through my own depression and PTSD for years, and have gotten the best results through a combination of psychotherapy, medication and dharma practice.

    I could go on and on about this. It's what I've spent many years studying. My motivation to begin meditation practice occurred in 1981 when my father committed suicide.
  • EricEric
    edited March 2010
    Glow,what you have hit the nail on the head ! The text;"embrace your suffering",I find to be unrealistic(I do know what you mean).I have suffered a lot and my mother(bless her "soul".) for 100 people,if she had had "embraced her suffering" she would have gone mad.At a point,if you have really suffered,you have no control any more and your instincts take over.I really believe in Ying\Yang but if your rational is taken over by instincts you have no control over them.That IS what happens when a person really suffers.That is why I find the tip Glow gave me a really good one.I have allready thought about making my mistakes in life(and I have made a LOT,it`s not only the status of the world that make me depressed!)and my "depressive thoughts" a "thing" to help other people ! It might be the only way I can "get" anything positive out of it all !
    It`s just my thoughts and I appreciate ALL your answers !
    It`s so hard,if not impossible,to change the way you think so why don`t do a positive thing with it.
    To ALL your replies,THANKS !!!(And a special thanks to "Glow",I thought I was "going crazy").
    I wish you all a very nice weekend;Eric.

    PS;Sky Dancer,I really appreciate your answer.I really DON`T believe in medication.I have "self medicated" myself for years and I FIND all drugs to;Numb a person out of their problems.It closes your eyes to the problem and shoves it into the future.I have been clean for +/-6 years now and would like to keep it that way.I will try to execute the rest you have told me,thanks for that.
  • tony67tony67
    edited March 2010
    Eric if you are suffering clinical depression you should see advise from a medial professional.
  • skydancerskydancer Veteran
    edited March 2010
    Eric wrote: »
    Glow,what you have hit the nail on the head ! The text;"embrace your suffering",I find to be unrealistic(I do know what you mean).I have suffered a lot and my mother(bless her "soul".) for 100 people,if she had had "embraced her suffering" she would have gone mad.At a point,if you have really suffered,you have no control any more and your instincts take over.I really believe in Ying\Yang but if your rational is taken over by instincts you have no control over them.That IS what happens when a person really suffers.That is why I find the tip Glow gave me a really good one.I have allready thought about making my mistakes in life(and I have made a LOT,it`s not only the status of the world that make me depressed!)and my "depressive thoughts" a "thing" to help other people ! It might be the only way I can "get" anything positive out of it all !
    It`s just my thoughts and I appreciate ALL your answers !
    It`s so hard,if not impossible,to change the way you think so why don`t do a positive thing with it.
    To ALL your replies,THANKS !!!(And a special thanks to "Glow",I thought I was "going crazy").
    I wish you all a very nice weekend;Eric.

    PS;Sky Dancer,I really appreciate your answer.I really DON`T believe in medication.I have "self medicated" myself for years and I FIND all drugs to;Numb a person out of their problems.It closes your eyes to the problem and shoves it into the future.I have been clean for +/-6 years now and would like to keep it that way.I will try to execute the rest you have told me,thanks for that.
    Regarding the medication issue. If you're in recovery that's another story. You are wise to avoid medication and alcohol.

    I never 'believed' in medication either until PTSD whupped my fanny. It's funny both my parents were mentally ill serious enough to require hospitatalization yet I had a harsh judgement toward medication too.

    I've been humbled by this experience. Nothing like getting some pride knocked down a few notches to open up your dharma practice, LOL.
  • GlowGlow Veteran
    edited March 2010
    You're welcome, Eric! :) In this world, it is easy to feel demoralized and doubtful about our ability to make a change. Depression is fed by a sense of alienation and helplessness. I haven't been to the Netherlands, but if it's anything like the U.S., people know their neighbors less well, see their friends less often, aren't close to extended family (grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, etc.) and generally don't connect with each other as much as a generation or two ago. This isolation is one of the main social contributors to depression in this century and its one of the reasons people are more complacent than they were in the past about social activism.

    However, there are many people just like you who feel the way you do -- both at the environmental problems as well as personal suffering. Some of them may be sitting at home at this moment, thinking they're completely alone in their convictions. They are probably hoping that they could meet someone like you. If you do an internet search, you can find organizations in your area dedicated to environmentalist causes, sustainable building and agricultural practices as well as local co-ops that practice or support organic and local farming. Join one that seems to speak to you, or support or volunteer somehow. I actually do think people are becoming more and more aware about how important it is to conserve this precious earth that we are a part of. Entire cities (like Portland, Oregon here in the U.S. and Adelaide, Australia) are being redesigned to be more environmentally sustainable, demand is growing for smaller localized farms once more, engineers are developing more efficient cars and mass-transit systems, etc.

    It may help to remember that your suffering, like all emotions, comes from a place of wisdom; it's a wisdom that wants, not only to help the environment, but also is trying to get you to connect with issues and causes much larger than yourself and larger than your own personal history of suffering whatever it may be. Ultimately, I know that learning about and becoming engaged in social causes has helped me to heal personally from my own depression and childhood traumas.
  • EricEric
    edited March 2010
    Thank you for your quick and kind reply.Untill about 6 years ago my whole life was crazy.I suppressed all my emotions with chemicals(after I lost my brothers and a lot of other misey).Then the only person I had left(mother)got very sick and I cared for her until she died a few months ago.After playing "hide and seek" with my emotions for so long I`m just now trying to cope with life as a "normal" person.Small messages like you just gave me do me a lot of good(I`ve just started believing there are good people too),thank you for that.And thank the forum for that.My mind is still a chaos a lot of the time but I`m really starting to believe that there can come good out of all the "wrongs" in my life.It`s just difficult for me to really open up to strangers,but I must(No family left).I believe all people need other people to have a good life.I`ll take your tips to heart.And I`m really going to try to make something of my life,it`s the only way to be happy for me.I have been thinking to do good with my experiances and with my mind and today you are the 2nd person to "validate" that for me...IT`S TRUE ! I`ll have to take small steps because I`ve allways lived "outside society" but were there is a will there is a way.
    I`m from 1967 and still learning things a lot of people have learned by the age of 20.There are no shortcuts to the good things in life.
    I want to wish you all the best from Holland and a nice weekend,and thanks again.(All the best to all the other kind people on this forum too).
    Greetings;Eric...
  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    edited March 2010
    I think it helps to make friends with the thoughts, Just as closing our eyes has consequences so to does trying to make certain thoughts change. Yet at the same time I am not telling you that you always have to feel bad. I am telling you to make friends with thoughts because it will be like opening your eyes to them and I think in the long run you will feel better. Its very tricky because saying that it is hopeless and we are just going to accept crappiness isn't truth but rather it is itself a thought and it seems to not feel right.

    By seeing that your thoughts are just thoughts it will give some moments of relief I think. Maybe some wonder at how the world can be perfumed or even constructed all of thoughts. Its kind of amazing.

    I hope this helps a bit.
  • pearlpearl
    edited March 2010
    Hi Eric,
    it sounds like you have a deep passion for the environment. Are you able to benefit the environment through your line of work?
  • EricEric
    edited March 2010
    Hello and thanks for the kind words.Through my work I can`t help the enviroment.It`s very hard for me to find people who are on the same wavelenth,I have had a life which very people have lived.You know how most people are(judgemental,alien to all that is different,and often hypocrites).When I was younger I studied to go to M.I.T.,my father had everything arranged and at the very end it all went to pieces(I`d lost my 2nd brother,had no siblings left and my father had put me in the hospital).Then for 20 years I had a "crazy" life until about 6 years ago.When people ask me things I NEVER lie and so when things come up about my past life most people are shocked.So I tend to keep the real deep feelings to myself.I do have a few "friends" mostly women but I don`t really open up to them too.They allways tell me;You can help everybody when they are down except yourself.
    I`ve gotten some nice ideas from people on this site(thanks)and I`ll adapt those to my situation.I do want to help,even if it`s for free.I`ll try to do something with that.
    I wish everybody a very nice weekend,thanks for all your kind words;Eric.:)
    (Excuse my English I`m Dutch).
  • GlowGlow Veteran
    edited March 2010
    Hi Eric, glad you're starting to move outward again. In your life you've had to face circumstances few people in developed nations can fathom or be expected to handle without some emotional fallout. I definitely do not think you are going crazy. What you're experiencing sounds like an ordinary reaction to extraordinary circumstances. I'm sure you did the best you could with whatever emotional and mental resources you had at the time. It's okay not to open up -- only do so when you feel ready to accept whatever reaction people will have to it. This will require some time, and requires that to accept your past exactly as it was, forgive the parts you and others have played in it, and learn from it what you can.

    You mentioned meditation in your first post. One meditation practice that I think you might try is metta bhavana (lovingkindness/unconditional friendliness). There is a good video introduction to metta here and a nice series of talks by Gil Fronsdal here.
  • AllbuddhaBoundAllbuddhaBound Veteran
    edited March 2010
    Eric wrote: »
    Hello and thanks for the kind words.Through my work I can`t help the enviroment.It`s very hard for me to find people who are on the same wavelenth,I have had a life which very people have lived.You know how most people are(judgemental,alien to all that is different,and often hypocrites).When I was younger I studied to go to M.I.T.,my father had everything arranged and at the very end it all went to pieces(I`d lost my 2nd brother,had no siblings left and my father had put me in the hospital).Then for 20 years I had a "crazy" life until about 6 years ago.When people ask me things I NEVER lie and so when things come up about my past life most people are shocked.So I tend to keep the real deep feelings to myself.I do have a few "friends" mostly women but I don`t really open up to them too.They allways tell me;You can help everybody when they are down except yourself.
    I`ve gotten some nice ideas from people on this site(thanks)and I`ll adapt those to my situation.I do want to help,even if it`s for free.I`ll try to do something with that.
    I wish everybody a very nice weekend,thanks for all your kind words;Eric.:)
    (Excuse my English I`m Dutch).

    Hello Eric:

    It really sounds like you have difficulty accepting yourself. You have had some times in your life when you had misgivings, but that is the past. As far as people asking you questions about your past, there is such as thing as too much information. Besides, it is your life and not something everyone needs to know. Bringing up your past with casual people, may be setting you up for suffering you don't really need and makes it difficult for you to be accepting of yourself. You would be better off being a man/woman of mystery. Tell them it wasn't good but you have made a conscious decision to leave it there, in the past and you don't want to talk about it.

    Practicing loving kindness helps us to learn compassion and frees us to learn some gentleness and patience towards ourselves. You can get to a place of self acceptance.
  • EricEric
    edited March 2010
    Hello and thank you.
    Where I live is not a really big city so my past allways comes up sooner or later.I hate to lie,I find it the root of a lot of problems in the world and have heard so many lies they could last me a lifetime.To speak the truth and to never hurt "normal" people allways set me aside from the people I USED to associate with.It`s not arrogance but staying true to the little beliefs I had left.I have been thinking about not accepting myself,my first reaction was;"That`s nonsence",but after thinking about it I think that there is truth in that.I`m just "rediscovering" myself,and appreciate all the "tips" I can get.I`m also leaning more and more towards Buddhism and the teachings.I just hope my mind can let go of all the bad and I can continue on my path.I just want peace of mind and a chance to do good and I`m going to do all I can to do so.The last sentance is a very wise one and it`s very true.I have learned,the hard way,that inflicting pain\revenge\hate is very distructive but also just as selfdistructive !
    Thank you for your reaction to my text,have a nice weekend;Eric...
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