Contemplating death

skydancer

I started to meditate about a year after my father committed suicide in 1981. Contemplating death and dying has always been a part of what has brought Buddhist teachings home to me.

I remember how disturbing it was to me that the Catholic Church would excommunicate my father for his suicide and condemn him to hell for all eternity--yet the Buddhist teachings are that he will return again and again until his karma is purified and even if he were to go to a hell realm, the hell realms themselves are impermanent.

Further, the teachings are that the hell realms are states of mind and inherently empty of existence.

I'm offering this topic as a way to approach the subject of death and dying in terms of our collective experiences with Buddhism and personal lives.

Please contribute your thoughts and feelings.

sky dancer

thegoldeneternity

I find that contemplating death and dying makes for a more fulfilling life. Many people choose to ignore death because they find it depressing and disturbing and perhaps don't want to "waste their time" worrying about death. But in my opinion, thinking about death, realizing that your own existence and the existence of others is impermanent, allows one to more fully appreciate what he/she has.

I've often struggled with this. I've noticed myself taking my loved ones for granted and I want to continue to get better about that.

Great art, music, literature, and poetry forces me to contemplate death. It always leaves me with a greater appreciation of the very-much-alive beauty which I too often overlook.

Kikujiro

The only thing I found with death contemplation (and the fear that comes from it) is that doing so made death less fearful. I went from having horrible panic attacks (caused by that fear) to being able to think of it peacefully whenever I want. I also got the chance to realise the funny ideas I had about what it was. It changed my life considerably.

My mind went from a seriously mad (At times when i couldnt entertain my mind enough to block the thought out)

"I MUST NOT DIE! I MUST FIX THIS! BUT I CANT FIX IT!" (rinse and repeat)

to

"Accept it and there wont be anything to fix"

As such, it was also a massive lesson on how my mind dictates the way I witness the world.

Marmalade

sky dancer wrote: »

I remember how disturbing it was to me that the Catholic Church would excommunicate my father for his suicide and condemn him to hell for all eternity

It's funny, I went to a catholic high school, and we were taught over and over again that suicide was a mortal sin that would beak off your relationship with god forever.

Then, one of our janitors committed suicide, and they said that his sin was a 'venial' sin, because mortals sins have certain conditions, one being that you have to intentionally know what you're doing. They said the janitor was under stress and didn't know what he was doing.

Isn't EVERYONE who takes their own life under stress and not knowing what they are doing?!?!

Kikujiro

Marmalade wrote: »

Then, one of our janitors committed suicide, and they said that his sin was a 'venial' sin, because mortals sins have certain conditions, one being that you have to intentionally know what you're doing. They said the janitor was under stress and didn't know what he was doing.

Isn't EVERYONE who takes their own life under stress and not knowing what they are doing?!?!

These days I would agree, after finding imperminence.

Reminds me of a great quote:

"Hopelessness--just like it's opposite, blind hope--is the result of a belief in permanence."

Dzongsar Jamyang Khyentse

shenpennangwa

Kikujiro wrote: »

The only thing I found with death contemplation (and the fear that comes from it) is that doing so made death less fearful.

This is a very important realization if you ask me.

ownerof1000oddsocks

This first part is an interpretation of a story I read elsewhere. In my own words:

If you're having a decent life, and you appreciate everything around you and don't spend time bickering and have everything in perspective then that ending is all the worse.

If you're having a bad life, then you can't wait for it to be over and it's unbearable.
---
In fact, death is only a contingency once I'm born. It's something we acquire. This doesn't work the other way around if you think about it. So, here you are but it's only temporary. This is a perfectly functional arrangement, since the op asked on thoughts and feelings. There is no getting stuck, only true freedom and spontaneity.

On the other hand, it's a little disturbing to consider the spontaneity of life. Life simply pops up, emerges, comes together. There's no telling what form or shape, certainly not much use in dwelling on it... and yet here we are.

I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Kikujiro

shenpen nangwa wrote: »

This is a very important realization if you ask me.

No kidding, that was it for me. Practice solved (to a degree) a lifelong problem. If only my resistance to everything else was so obvious.

shenpennangwa

Kikujiro wrote: »

No kidding, that was it for me. Practice solved (to a degree) a lifelong problem. If only my resistance to everything else was so obvious.

The direct confrontation with that which scares you can often diminish its power once we see that what we fear is not the object itself but rather our perception of it.

zendo

This is an excellent topic, and everyone's insights have been of a high quality--thank you all for your contributions.

One reason death does not seem like a tragedy to me is that I strongly believe it's not the "end": it's only a transitionary stage between two kinds of existence.

As such, death itself intrigues me, and in a way I even look forward to it. My only "fear" is that it will happen before I've succeeded in changing my karma, which is greatly in need of transformation.

In other words, I guess what I fear is not so much death itself, as not making enough progress in this lifetime.

Kikujiro

My fear always came about because I knew I could never know it wasn't the end. Working with attachment to the world (which of course makes up who I thought I was) helped. I really dont believe that, if rebirth is true, that memory is reborn. In which case it's just the same as death to me. If you hit me over the head and erase my memory then all that has gone before is gone too, if I am a new person so what? the me that is me before the memory is gone is dead.

That gives you an idea of how sideways my fears of death were.

But I kinda think it's valid. If you lose all memory of what you have expereinced and know, how is that not the death of "you"? Meaning the you before the memory no longer exists.