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Is anyone here a member of dharmamatch.com?
Mountains
Veteran
I joined dharmamatch.com a few years ago. Not much happened for a long time, but the other day I got a "smile" from a woman who lives about 3 hours from me. She's Buddhist, single, cute as a button, and loves dogs. We've been emailing for a week or so. I'm happy 
Maybe it'll go somewhere, who knows?
Mtns
Maybe it'll go somewhere, who knows?Mtns
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Oh well... single for life I guess.
Mtns
All the profiles I had written to were in India.
Verdict: I'm glad I didn't sign up for a longer membership. The site is nearly dead.
I'm posting my review here as it seems there aren't any accurate reviews of the site anywhere, so the search engines can find this. Maybe the people who own the site might actually be encouraged to do something to help themselves.
Do guys do this like women? I have a friend dealing with a husband who is out of the house, has cheated on and off for years and she recently found out, and is waffling of counseling etc. So the deal is if we do not find a relationship once our kids are grown we will be roomates. I don't like the idea of being alone ALL the time, and her only fault so far is being a picky eater.
Personally, I would rather a roommate than a relationship anymore. Company with no strings attached. I am at the age where sex is not a priority (yeah,a man just said that), and the idea of trying to date is distasteful. I haven't the energy much less the money.
Depends on how worth it it is to you. I am thinking an active social life would be preferable to getting into something unfulfilling or dramatic. Take on some projects, go to sangha, meditate more, and so on.
Though DM still advertises in Tricycle and they say on their site that version 2.0 coming soon, so maybe there is hope.
The intelligent thing, thank you forthe compliment by the way, is really irritating in so many ways and on so manylevels. For example I would love to work in GT education or affective needs special education. One factor I think in GT education is being highly intelligent in the gifted style IMHO. I was 2nd in line for my dream job last year but most of the time my uniqueness is not an assett in the job search within the teaching world. As a country(US) we do not know what to do with our gifted students to help them really achieve in the world, they need often help with finding their place in the team/sports culture of many companies but also how to advocate for their abilities. Recently I had another 'accept the uniqueness of me' surge and I stopped adjusting my language for others so much. That means in presentations I do not say 'like' or 'ya know' but instead have a silent moment, plus I use the most appropriate word even if it has many syllables. I realized this was one factor in recently being totally talked over and having my part taken in a group meeting, another opportunity for assertiveness huh.
Often times people say that intelligent people are argumentative because they tend to question things. To them being questioned is an affront, like you are showing off or something, it also threatens them because they cannot keep up. In their embarrassment, or boredom (because they do not understand), they will talk over you and/or shut you down. They make it about them.
I am not sure that being more assertive will help matters. There is a saying that I like, and while in and of itself it too is a put down, it has a valid point. "Never argue with an idiot, they will drag you down to their level, and beat you with experience." I will replace the word idiot with "stubborn" or "one dimensional" because many times those people are unwilling or incapable of seeing things differently.
For instance, I like to use vocabulary on occasion, big words if you will. Rather than someone asking me what something means when they do not understand it they will say "ooh, look at you using big words". It's easier to put someone down rather than learn something I guess. I have been guilty of that myself, sometimes internally, sometimes externally.
It is ridiculous to have to "dumb yourself down" to make others feel better about themselves. Women tend to do that more often than men, I might add. For obvious reasons.
There are men (assuming you are female and looking for a man, I know it has its risks) who like intelligent women that they can have a conversation with, and not feel threatened by them. There's a lot to be said for deep conversation.
Don't give up! I have not either, despite what I posted earlier. I am just taking a break from romantic entanglements, having just gotten out of one that greatly stifled me. Romance turns up in the strangest places!
An example: a friend of mine is middle-class, intelligent and articulate, and female. She used to work with kids in deprived working-class communities. She has an amazing ability to relate to them directly.
There is nothing wrong with improving upon ourselves,however it should be for ourselves, not because others expect it.
I would be curious to know your friend's background, was she always middle-class? That could speak volumes to her ability to relate to those kids, or it could simply be a matter of obvious compassion that kids could feel coming from her, and tapped into.
I did a preliminary membership to E-Harmony but it was weird. They sent me a bunch of what I'll diplomatically call "pretty average people", no one with common interests or anything. I quit.
Mountains, I thought you'd found a nice nurse the last time you went hiking? Did that not work out? The best way to find people is through pure serendipity like that, OMHO, though it takes time and luck.
(Just joking here)
If she can fix cars and cut hair, she sounds like my dream woman.
:wtf: