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Question about compassion

Dr.FeelgoodDr.Feelgood
edited April 2010 in Buddhism Basics
Hello, I'm new to Buddhism and have been reading the forum for a couple of weeks. Some very intesting discussions here, there is clearly some very knowledgable people posting.

I'm interested to hear people views on compassion and how it can benefit us in our daily lives. From my understanding, having compassion for someone who is suffering is meant to make us feel better. I'm struggling to grasp this concept as when I see people or animals suffer, I do feel compassion for them and wish they did not suffer, but I don't see how I can benefit from that.

Any response would be appreciated :)

Comments

  • DhammaDhatuDhammaDhatu Veteran
    edited April 2010
    Dr. Feelgood wrote: »
    ...having compassion for someone who is suffering is meant to make us feel better. I'm struggling to grasp this concept as when I see people or animals suffer, I do feel compassion for them and wish they did not suffer, but I don't see how I can benefit from that.
    Welcome DFG

    It is taught compassion is the opposite of cruelty.

    I think compassion can make us better people.

    If one's mind is intent upon compassion, it will search for ways to help people.

    It will also learn to develop understanding when help cannot be given.

    Indeed. Compassionate intention can lead to temporary trouble of heart but this is a fruitful journey.

    My thoughts.

    DD :)
  • Emma-AngelEmma-Angel
    edited April 2010
    Agreed. Compassion can sometimes be confused for empathy or sympathy, but to be truly compassionate is to really feel the pain that the people / beings are going through and develop a firm desire to alieviate that suffering for both that being and yourself. Buddha cried tears for humanity's pain and from these tears came forth Avolkiteshvara and Arya Tara, the incarnations of compassion (I think this is right).
  • ReallyReally
    edited April 2010
    The shakyamuni buddhas big discovery was that we keep doing the same things thinking they will lead to some kind of permenant lasting hapiness. We chase after praise rather than blame, pleasure rather than pain, fame rather than disgrace, gain rather than loss He saw this leads to endless suffering. He also saw a way out of the suffering. His antidotes are often counter intuitive - not what we are attracted too. You are right: to feel compassion will always involve feeling the pain of the being you are empathising with. It will always take courage and conviction. It won't always involve suffering. But it will at the beginning.

    We practice compassion because it leads to seeing the truth of how connected we all are. It dissolves the illusion of our separateness and let's us know our common ground. I may not have similar circumstances to you but at the gut level our sadness or frustration feels the same. When you can connect with beings pain you will find you can also connect with their joy in a fresh unselfish way that is inaccessible otherwise.

    "A human being is a part of the whole called by us 'the universe,' a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separate from the rest - a kind of optical delusion of consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening the circle of understanding and compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."
    albert einstein
  • nlightennlighten Explorer
    edited April 2010
    When you practice true, pure, unconditional love and compassion; you will find that it will require you to be unselfish, honest, fearless, unattached, and virtuous, this is how others will benefit. Naturally the opposite of these: selfishness, dishonesty, fear, attachment, and unvirtuous thoughts will subside in yourself and this is how you will benefit.
  • aMattaMatt Veteran
    edited April 2010
    It can be problematic to make an idea like compassion concrete. You say "having compassion for someone who is suffering is meant to make us feel better" which isn't really the case.

    "Compassion is about awareness... Genuine compassion arises as the ability to go beyond self. This requires that we transcend our preoccupation with our own happiness and suffering. As meditators, one of the first things we can do is to look honestly at the
    world from behind another's eyes. Experience that person's craving for happiness and fear of suffering with the same immediacy that we would if his heart and mind were ours. We may see that this individual's immense hope and fear are even greater than our own. See the similarities we all share. We cannot even begin to commit ourselves to the path of selfless compassion if our mind is unable to sense the sameness of the ground we all stand upon." - Khandro Rinpoche

    I also remember a teacher saying that compassion is the fruit that arises when the seed of awareness meets the truth of reality. For me, it is an active resonance with my surroundings, where I am a humble servant looking for ways to ease the confusion and suffering of the world... not because I wish to feel better, but because there isn't another path that makes sense.

    With warmth,

    Matt
  • tony67tony67
    edited April 2010
    Compassion without action is in reality only pity.
  • FoibleFullFoibleFull Canada Veteran
    edited April 2010
    Dr. Feelgood wrote: »
    Hello, I'm new to Buddhism and have been reading the forum for a couple of weeks. Some very intesting discussions here, there is clearly some very knowledgable people posting.

    I'm interested to hear people views on compassion and how it can benefit us in our daily lives. From my understanding, having compassion for someone who is suffering is meant to make us feel better. I'm struggling to grasp this concept as when I see people or animals suffer, I do feel compassion for them and wish they did not suffer, but I don't see how I can benefit from that.

    Any response would be appreciated :)

    The goal of Buddhism is to free yourself, not to make you feel better (although oddly, you DO feel better, but it's not because suffering stops).

    Nor does having compassion for someone who is suffering make you feel better. As a matter of fact, you feel their pain, although of course not as directly as if it was you yourself who was hurting. So why would any sane person want to develop compassion?

    I have two answers:
    (1) Psychologically-speaking, those who are most self-involved are the least happy. The development of compassion pushes you out of this me-only headspace.
    (2) It seems that the Buddha, and all subsequent teachers of skillful-means, have great compassion. Obviously, there is something about focusing on others instead of ourselves that lends itself towards enlightenment.

    I remember that old movie "Karate Kid" where the old man teaches the young boy "wax on - wax off" and he ends up getting angry because he's waxing the man's cars, but isn't learning karate. We do not always understand why we are supposed to learn the things we are taught.
  • Dr.FeelgoodDr.Feelgood
    edited April 2010
    Some great replies here, thanks a lot. I now see it more like having compassion helps bring awareness to the fact that we all want the same thing fundamentally - not to suffer. Putting yourself in a suffering persons shoes can help bring us that awareness. I think I'm on the right track now anyway!
    FoibleFull wrote: »

    (2) It seems that the Buddha, and all subsequent teachers of skillful-means, have great compassion. Obviously, there is something about focusing on others instead of ourselves that lends itself towards enlightenment.

    I remember that old movie "Karate Kid" where the old man teaches the young boy "wax on - wax off" and he ends up getting angry because he's waxing the man's cars, but isn't learning karate. We do not always understand why we are supposed to learn the things we are taught.

    You're first point makes sense to me, but I dont know if I agree with the second one. I'm trying to find out reasons and benefits to developing compassion from direct experience. Just because it worked for other people (even the Buddha himself!) isn't enough for me.

    The Karate Kid is one of my favourite movies by the way, Daniel San, what a hero!
  • KarmaDondrupTashiKarmaDondrupTashi
    edited April 2010
    If your ethics are cr*p your meditation is going to be cr*p.
  • TheswingisyellowTheswingisyellow Trying to be open to existence Samsara Veteran
    edited April 2010
    tony67 wrote: »
    Compassion without action is in reality only pity.
    Pity is from the perpective of I am here and you are there. True compassion arises not from a dualistic perspective but a perspective that utterly identifies with the pain or suffering of another and wanting that pain to cease. Compassion arises from the idea that we are all the same and that anothers suffering is also my suffering. Conversely another's joy is my joy. Being compassionate is being open and just being with these experiences, it's not pushing life away. Really's post sums it up very nicely.
    Yours in the Dharma,
    Todd
  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    edited April 2010
    Wisdom is when we sense another possibility than suffering in samsara (for self and others). Compassion is the longing we feel for that other possibility. It is tender.
  • LifeIsSufferingLifeIsSuffering
    edited April 2010
    Allow me to paraphrase a quote "all good things come from worrying about others, all bad things come from concern from one's self"

    the ultimate purpose of compassion is to stop ego-clinging and to think less about the self and more about others.

    have compassion for all beings. eight versus for training the mind
    "I will learn to cherish beings of bad nature
    And those oppressed by strong sins and suffering
    As if I had found a precious
    Treasure very difficult to find."

    all sentient beings are, in the Mahayana tradition the basis for practice, for without them - to whom does all this compassion go?

    hope this helps!
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