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I'm autistic - is that good or bad for my spirituality?
When I was 15 years old, I was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, a mild form of autism. Since then, I have come to the realization that autism colors my every experience and perception, making me profoundly different from other people even as my social and occupational skills improve. It has done so since I was two years old; I don't even remember the brief time in my life when I was apparently not autistic. This obviously has implications for my spirituality.
These are the signs and symptoms of Asperger's syndrome:
1. Compulsive and repetitive behavior
2. "Uneven" results on intelligence tests (I have a performance IQ of 70 and a verbal IQ of 137.)
3. Social awkwardness
4. Disorganization and difficulty with executive function
5. Narrow, overpowering interests and hobbies
6. Differences in emotional processing
7. Differences in sensory processing (I have hypersensitive ears and no sense of smell.)
8. Love of repitition and routine
My questions: in the Buddhist/Taoist sense, is this going to help me, hurt me, or remain neutral? If it's going to hurt me, how do I get around it? If it's going to help me, how can I utilize it?
Much obliged for any responses.
These are the signs and symptoms of Asperger's syndrome:
1. Compulsive and repetitive behavior
2. "Uneven" results on intelligence tests (I have a performance IQ of 70 and a verbal IQ of 137.)
3. Social awkwardness
4. Disorganization and difficulty with executive function
5. Narrow, overpowering interests and hobbies
6. Differences in emotional processing
7. Differences in sensory processing (I have hypersensitive ears and no sense of smell.)
8. Love of repitition and routine
My questions: in the Buddhist/Taoist sense, is this going to help me, hurt me, or remain neutral? If it's going to hurt me, how do I get around it? If it's going to help me, how can I utilize it?
Much obliged for any responses.
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Comments
Much of what you're asking depends on what you're looking for in your spirituality.
Lets look generically on your developing... based on your list of symptoms, I'm imagining you list what applies to you. If you consider development about overcoming habits and developing more skillful and loving habits, then you do have some things working for and against you.
The biggest challenge I think you might find is in number 4, because executive processing comes into play a lot as you begin to notice places in life you'd like to change. With weak abilities in that area, moving past habits might be much more challenging. Getting over the hump of habit can be difficult for anyone, and for you, adopting new behaviors could be extra troublesome.
However, because you process things much differently, you also have the ability to stay uninvolved in a lot of the current distractions of western society. If you find that spiritual development is one of your deep interests, then your dedication, focus and intense study of what lies in that narrow band of interest could help you remain steadily focused on your intention.
Most people have different tools, and almost always it is a matter of how we apply those tools the experience we're having. I have seen kids with asperger's syndrome who become very skillful at what they choose to do.... the question remains, what are you looking for?
With warmth,
Matt
What am I seeking? Now, I know that spirituality is not self-help, but I will still say that I am more than anything seeking two things: a true, deep knowledge of the universe and my place within it, and a path that will lead me through a harmonious, balanced, and ethical life - harmonious in my dealings with nature, balanced in my dealings with my own mind, body, and spirit, and ethical in my dealings with other humans. I want to conquer my internal turmoil and become a person who understands the Truths that lie behind life's struggles. Maybe this idea is more Taoist than Buddhist; I'm not sure. However, I am sure that it is what I am striving for.
I don't have the hubris to believe that autistic people are some kind of spiritual Master Race. However, I do believe that I can turn my natural aloneness and my ability to study things in-depth into something beautiful.
The biggest problems I forsee are a too-academic mindset (having grown up isolated, I sometimes value books over experience) and intrusive thoughts during meditation.
I don't know much about Taoism, but what you have said certainly could be one way of describing what Buddhism is about.
Sometimes it seems like we are supposed to throw away all the books if we really want to do any spiritual practice. I say no. The books are very useful, some people find them more useful than others. Some people might not do much "book lernin" and prefer to do more hands on stuff. Some of us prefer to do a lot of study, research, discussion, etc. There is nothing wrong with either of these approaches. Find what works for you and never feel guilty for being a bookworm.
Rather than thinking in terms of advantages or disadvantages, think of it as a unique set of gifts and run with it.
Coincidentally, I was reading about AS recently and thinking how much NT Buddhists could benefit from interacting with an AS Buddhist with different social values and behaviors. Don't change and stay awesome. :-)
I can't add anything to the good advice that you've had so far.
As RenGalskap says 'Stay awesome!'
Hell, hungry ghost, animal
Barbarian, and long-life god,
Holding wrong views, and the absence of Buddha,
Mute--
These are eight unfavorable conditions
The ten endowmentss are divided into two groups of five qualities one must achieve personally. and the five that come from outside circumstances. The five to achieve personally are:
Being human, being born in a central country (a chance to attend holy persons), having all the senses (free from muteness or stupidity),
Not reverting to evil deeds, and having devotion for the teachings.
The five that come from outside circumstances are a Buddha has appeared in the world, A Buddha taught the precious dharma, the Dharma that was taught continues, there are followers of the Dharma which continue, and there is love and support from others.
Ok in my estimation Ausbergers doesn't affect your senses to the point where you cannot study and practice the dharma. The other factors are not related to Ausbergers.. So yes I believe you can progress in the dharma. It doesn't matter if you progress faster or slower than me or somebody else instead you should just be happy for yourself and any others who make any progress at all.
Here is a little description of Taoism:
Taoism is not a religion. It is a philosophy, a pursuit of wisdom and a study of natural realities.
Taoism is the consolidation of a number of concepts and practices that make up the "Path", or "Way", of living. The consolidation of ideas and concepts include basic principles or "theories" regarding the body, diet, breathing and physical exercises, uses of herbs, philosophical inquiry and, of course, meditation. All of which the Taoist feels brings a human being into closer alignment with the "natural order" of life and living - a pathway that humankind appears to have gotten derailed from.
The true benefit in Taoism is found by those who are ready to question what they've been taught. Furthermore, the more one learns of Taoism, the more they learn they must question. Everything we've been taught, all the technicalities, categories, and descriptions of nature, keep us from experiencing nature itself. For nature is not something that needs to be categorized. It is the only category.
That's a pretty complete definition. But it lacks the poetry inherent in Taoism. Let's quote straight from the source, Lao-Tze's the Tao Te Ching.
Tao is a force. It's not a God, it's not some sentient being controlling the universe. It just IS. It's everywhere, all at once. It flows through the entire world, and we're all affected by it, even if we don't realize it.
People cannot see the Tao but they can experience it in the rhythmic cycles of nature: night and day, winter and summer, rain and sun, death and birth. These opposing forces of the natural world express the concept of Yin and Yang which is central to Taoist understanding. These two forces demonstrate Tao, and because Tao is in everything, yin and yang are a part of Tao.
1 - Refrain from choosing an absolute path. Picking and choosing is a modern way of thinking, which makes us slaves to our desires. The only way to squelch such crippling desire is to refrain from our need to choose.
2 - Keep your emotions from interfering with your love. If you wish to truly understand one another, then you must love them truly as they are and not allow their "usefulness" cloud your ways.
3 - Hold your emotions (fear, rage, guilt) in check; then things will become much clearer. Do not be for or against one another and you will see similarity (instead of animosity) with your neighbor.
4 - Curb your need to analyze, categorize and scrutinize. Delete your need to understand. A quiet mind is one that is in harmony with nature. Only then will you be able to be at one with the outside world.
5 - Live in moderation. When desire takes over a person's life, there is much grief. The true way does not consist of grasping or rejecting, only allowing of one's true self.
6 - Practice serenity daily by allowing yourself to meditate without the need for results. Be patient and know that developing a spiritual path cannot be rushed or forced.
7 - Open yourself to compassion by embracing reality. You cannot hide from life by ignoring the truth. Every act inward should include action (outward) towards your fellow man.
In many ways Taoism and Buddhism share the same principles... And in many ways they differ but I find that they complement each other well.