emotional numbness

Urizen

Hi! So, I've been lurking around here for about a year, and I've learned a lot -- thanks everyone!--but I've got a big problem. The problem is that I just don't really feel anything, emotionally.

At first, I thought that Buddhism was a great match for me, considering the non-attachment thing, but I've realized that, maybe, I'm just....messed up.

I've always been a loner, perfectly comfortable by myself. Hell, I don't really have any friends. I talk to my co-workers, my students, and my wife--other than that, I don't know anyone, and I'm fine with that.

I love my wife but I know I would be perfectly happy without her. If something happened, maybe I'd be sad for a while, but I'd be happy again, soon enough.

I love my parents and my brothers, but I would be perfectly happy without them, too. Hell, I'm in Japan, they are in the United States, we don't speak so often, and it doesn't bother me a bit.

The non-clinging aspect of Buddhism I understand and I dig, but I seem to be lacking the capacity for compassion and empathy. I feel...kind of numb. I dunno, am I a psycho? I'd certainly never hurt another person, but I just feel like I'm a robot. I feel like I'm missing some basic emotions that everyone else has.

I dunno. What do you think?

NamelessRiver

I just don't really feel anything, emotionally.

That can happen. It is not just with you. Many people go through those moments, including me. You are not alone in this. (that makes you human and not a robot, and certainly you are not missing fundamental parts :-) )

I don't really have any friends.

Does that bother you? If it does, is there a reason why you don't have more friends? If it doesn't, why did you feel it was relevant to share?

I love my wife but I know I would be perfectly happy without her.
I love my parents and my brothers, but I would be perfectly happy without them, too.

Do you consider yourself happy now?

I feel...kind of numb. I dunno, am I a psycho?

I'd certainly never hurt another person

Don't put tags on yourself. Many people read about depression, personality disorders and what not and start saying 'I have this', 'I have that', but the truth is, without a deeper knowledge on the subject, I don't think we can tell what is clinically relevant or not.

fivebells

When you feel numb, attend to physical sensations. You are almost certainly suppressing emotional material, but if so, your body won't lie about it, and you can reach the material through the body.

aMatt

Consider putting a few dollars in your pocket and going and giving it to a good cause. Or, spending some time if dollars are in short supply. Charity usually overcomes apathy (in the case of numbness, self-apathy or environment-apathy.)

FoibleFull

Buddhism, practiced correctly, does not produce numbness.

I would suppose that either you are not practicing correctly (a good teacher can help you redirect your efforts) or that this numbness is coming from somewhere else (a good psychologist can help you root it out).

Urizen

Thanks for the replies everyone! I guess i was feeling pretty---maudlin yesterday, which, now that I think of it, kind of contradicts this thread.

Consider putting a few dollars in your pocket and going and giving it to a good cause. Or, spending some time if dollars are in short supply. Charity usually overcomes apathy (in the case of numbness, self-apathy or environment-apathy.)/QUOTE]

That's a great idea. Thanks!

Buddhism, practiced correctly, does not produce numbness/QUOTE]

Definitely true. Which is one reason I'm feeling--heh heh, there I am feeling again--kind of concerned about this whole thing. I feel like I'm getting a grasp on the philosophy of Buddhism, but putting it into practice has been pretty difficult.

Jeffrey

I think you should just be who you are Its ok and like you say your are not hurting anyone. The compassion thing unfolds rather naturally, but the first thing is to realize that these are just thoughts.

As you practice meditation and read the dharma you will come to see that we always want things are way and we are always telling ourselves stories sort of cooking up these beliefs and moods and things.

This is the thought of the day you have cooked up. Its not wrong and you don't have to make it go away. But it is just a thought that you are not emotional enough. Its like you decide its a bad day. And then it seems bad. But its really a perfect day. A wonderfully curious day. With surprises. The habitual fear keeps us from enjoying our day and really getting interested in it with our curiousity and insight of our hearts and mind.

So just notice who you are. I am glad that you don't want to hurt people. I think you can just open to who you are and sharing that person with your wife might give you a chance to experiment with the idea of not being emotional enough.

FoibleFull

Urizen wrote: »

I feel like I'm getting a grasp on the philosophy of Buddhism, but putting it into practice has been pretty difficult.

Oh, so true, dear heart. For all of us. I applaud your self-honesty.

Be patient. It comes into place slowly, as my Tibetan monk/teacher says so often, "Little bit by little bit." This is normal.