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happy 4th of july!
err...
Does anybody else get uncomfortable with parties and things? There's just so much pressure. We are having the relatives over today in like a half hour, and my mom always gets really overwhelmed and thus upset and takes it out on us. And I'm really sensitive and it makes me really anxious. Everyone is running around as if everything is so important and they make fun of me more and my dad put the TV on really loud and everyone was making so much noise and I just want to peace and quiet! I can go to my room where it's a little better, but I'm not allowed to eat in there and it takes me a long time to eat, and especially at breakfast time I just want to take my time and enjoy maybe a nice book, or just the quiet, or maybe listen to a dharma talk.
I keep thinking I'm supposed to be able to be happy in any situation, and what's wrong with me, everyone else likes parties and has a good time and looks at me funny when I need to get away from it all. "Oh, she must not like us. What a stuck up brat."
But then I sometimes remember that if they were to have to spend some time alone, doing pretty much nothing, they might feel just as uncomfortable as I do around people. So it's not that they are better than me, just different.
I was wondering if anyone else here is "different" in this way too, and how you have dealt with it over the years? My attitude lately has been towards acceptance, even of things I have previously thought of as things I need to change. It's amazing how much better it works to tell myself, "it's okay that I'm uncomfortable here. It'll be over in a little while, and I will always love me no matter what!
" than it is to say, "gosh I'm supposed to just be happy and enjoy myself here. What am I doing wrong!"
I tried telling my mom that the other day, how every time she criticizes me and judges me it doesn't help at all, only makes things worse, and if she were to just accept me unconditionally we could be much happier and my bad habits would change on their own, but she didn't believe me.
Haha anyway...happy fourth of july!!! I hope you all have a great day, whatever you're doing. I'm going to go be uncomfortable in the living room now!!
Does anybody else get uncomfortable with parties and things? There's just so much pressure. We are having the relatives over today in like a half hour, and my mom always gets really overwhelmed and thus upset and takes it out on us. And I'm really sensitive and it makes me really anxious. Everyone is running around as if everything is so important and they make fun of me more and my dad put the TV on really loud and everyone was making so much noise and I just want to peace and quiet! I can go to my room where it's a little better, but I'm not allowed to eat in there and it takes me a long time to eat, and especially at breakfast time I just want to take my time and enjoy maybe a nice book, or just the quiet, or maybe listen to a dharma talk.
I keep thinking I'm supposed to be able to be happy in any situation, and what's wrong with me, everyone else likes parties and has a good time and looks at me funny when I need to get away from it all. "Oh, she must not like us. What a stuck up brat."
But then I sometimes remember that if they were to have to spend some time alone, doing pretty much nothing, they might feel just as uncomfortable as I do around people. So it's not that they are better than me, just different.I was wondering if anyone else here is "different" in this way too, and how you have dealt with it over the years? My attitude lately has been towards acceptance, even of things I have previously thought of as things I need to change. It's amazing how much better it works to tell myself, "it's okay that I'm uncomfortable here. It'll be over in a little while, and I will always love me no matter what!
" than it is to say, "gosh I'm supposed to just be happy and enjoy myself here. What am I doing wrong!"I tried telling my mom that the other day, how every time she criticizes me and judges me it doesn't help at all, only makes things worse, and if she were to just accept me unconditionally we could be much happier and my bad habits would change on their own, but she didn't believe me.
Haha anyway...happy fourth of july!!! I hope you all have a great day, whatever you're doing. I'm going to go be uncomfortable in the living room now!!
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Comments
Its great to enjoy simple peace, but to renunciate social interaction because they're in a different space? I understand the reason, as I used to do it too, but really... its kind of silly and self-centered.
With warmth,
Matt
Yes, Christmas is the worst and it should be cancelled!
P
( bah humbug:p )