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What to do when you don't believe in God?

babystarsbabystars
edited July 2010 in Buddhism Basics
Some Buddhists believe in god, some don't. At least for me, I don't. Since there's no god that I pray to, what can I do for my loved ones? For example, if you hope for the safety, health, etc of your loved ones, what can you do? Do you chant any sutras or...? :confused:

Many thanks!

Comments

  • CristinaCristina
    edited July 2010
    You can do compassion meditation where you sit and wish them well. Wish them safety, health, etc. Cultivate a real sense of compassion. And the more you cultivate that compassion, the more naturally and spontaneously you'll really be kind to them and help them out.

    If you don't believe in God, then you'd agree with me that there's really nothing you can chant or anything that will make a real difference in terms of something external changing. But it can make a difference in you. And a change in you can mean a small change in the world. :)
  • ValtielValtiel Veteran
    edited July 2010
    Personally, I would rather just take my medicine and wear my seat belt, babystars.
  • babystarsbabystars
    edited July 2010
    Cristina wrote: »
    You can do compassion meditation where you sit and wish them well. Wish them safety, health, etc. Cultivate a real sense of compassion. And the more you cultivate that compassion, the more naturally and spontaneously you'll really be kind to them and help them out.

    If you don't believe in God, then you'd agree with me that there's really nothing you can chant or anything that will make a real difference in terms of something external changing. But it can make a difference in you. And a change in you can mean a small change in the world. :)

    Hmmm ok. Just that sometimes it seems there's nothing you can do for them but you can only hope :-/ So I was wondering if there's any practical ways to help them. I guess compassion meditation can be one way. Thanks!
  • babystarsbabystars
    edited July 2010
    Valtiel wrote: »
    Personally, I would rather just take my medicine and wear my seat belt, babystars.

    Haha! Well, I would do that for myself but if it's for others? Nag at them? :p
  • GuyCGuyC Veteran
    edited July 2010
    babystars wrote: »
    Hmmm ok. Just that sometimes it seems there's nothing you can do for them but you can only hope :-/ So I was wondering if there's any practical ways to help them. I guess compassion meditation can be one way. Thanks!

    Sometimes there is nothing we can do. In these instances we should cultivate equanimity. To borrow a quote from those who do believe in a god:

    Serenity Prayer wrote:
    God,
    Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
    the courage to change the things I can,
    and the wisdom to know the difference.
    But obviously you don't have to believe in a god to cultivate serenity, courage and discernment.
  • ShutokuShutoku Veteran
    edited July 2010
    I think some traditions believe in the transference of merit. So for example you could do something of merit...be it religious like chanting a sutra or something, or maybe do some good works...help someone out. And then dedicate the merit to the loved one you feel is in need of help.

    In Jodo Shinshu we also do not prey, but the end of every Sutra chanting we recite something that in english means more or less:
    May we share these virtues, equally with all, and together attaining bodhi-mind, birth in the land of bliss.

    Does it work? I cannot say. It certainly can't hurt.

    However if you want something a bit more tangible, if you cannot help a specific loved one...find someone else you can help, and in that way you can at least help relieve some of the suffering in the world.
  • october1560october1560
    edited July 2010
    Cristina wrote: »
    If you don't believe in God, then you'd agree with me that there's really nothing you can chant or anything that will make a real difference in terms of something external changing.

    Why? Why do you chant? Do you really need a deity to chant, based on a philosophical system that actually works for you?

    october1560
  • DisneyDisney
    edited July 2010
    babystars wrote: »
    Some Buddhists believe in god, some don't. At least for me, I don't. Since there's no god that I pray to, what can I do for my loved ones? For example, if you hope for the safety, health, etc of your loved ones, what can you do? Do you chant any sutras or...? :confused:
    Many thanks!
    Love ones, oh yeah ! - the Buddha and bodhisattva -:D they have no such dukka:)
    Transference of merits would be helpful.

    O Buddhas of the ten directions, with your compassion and sympathy please listen to the vast and mighty vow that I am making for the sake of mother and loved ones as well.:D Please....My mum wanted to meet Buddha Amitabha in Pure Land:lol:

    Sutra of Past Vows of Earth Store Bodhisattva
    The maidservant.s child answered, .I am undergoing retribution for two kinds of karma: killing and slandering. Had I not received the blessings you earned to rescue me from difficulty, I would not yet be released from that karma..
    When Bright Eyes heard that she wept bitterly and spoke into space saying, .I vow that my mother will be released from the hells forever. At the end of these thirteen years, she will be finished with her heavy offenses and will not go back to the evil paths. O Buddhas of the ten directions, with your compassion and sympathy please listen to the vast and mighty vow that I am making for the sake of my mother. If my mother will never again enter the three evil paths, never again be born into low stations, then here before the image of Pure-Lotus Eyes Thus Come One, I vow that from this day on throughout billions of eons I will respond to all beings who are undergoing suffering for their offenses in the hells or the three evil paths of any world. I vow to rescue them from the bad destinies of the hells, hungry ghosts, animals, and the like. Only after beings with such retributions have all become Buddhas will I myself achieve Proper Enlightenment...After making that vow, she clearly heard Pure-Lotus-Eyes Thus Come One say to her, .Bright Eyes, your own great compassion and sympathy is well extended to your mother by this mighty vow that you are making. My contemplation shows me that after thirteen years your mother will be finished with this retribution and will be born a Brahman with a lifespan of one hundred years. After that retribution she will be born in the Land of No Concern with a lifespan of uncountable eons. Later she will realize the fruition of Buddhahood and cross over people and gods numbering as sand grains in the Ganges...

    Om Mani Padme Hum
  • DeshyDeshy Veteran
    edited July 2010
    babystars wrote: »
    For example, if you hope for the safety, health, etc of your loved ones, what can you do?

    Get them insurance? Just a thought ....

    How about telling them about Dhamma?
  • VilhjalmrVilhjalmr
    edited July 2010
    babystars wrote: »
    Some Buddhists believe in god, some don't. At least for me, I don't. Since there's no god that I pray to, what can I do for my loved ones? For example, if you hope for the safety, health, etc of your loved ones, what can you do? Do you chant any sutras or...? :confused:

    Many thanks!
    Things like buying them meals if they're hungry or giving them good advice are likely to be more efficacious than any prayer, spell, or other metaphysical act.

    Just my opinion.

    --Vil
  • TransmetaphysicalTransmetaphysical Veteran
    edited July 2010
    babystars wrote: »
    Since there's no god that I pray to, what can I do for my loved ones? For example, if you hope for the safety, health, etc of your loved ones, what can you do? Do you chant any sutras or...? :confused:

    Very interesting question! I personally think that prayer is the worst thing that you could do. It doesn't accomplish anything except make you feel like you did something. The best thing you can do is to contemplate on ways to help others in a way that actually has a real affect. Even if it's as little as giving them friendly advice.

    .
  • babystarsbabystars
    edited July 2010
    Hmmm... Ok. Thanks all for your advice :) I guess sometimes it's just our own anxiety for our loved ones and we are the ones who need to be more relaxed :lol: though well sometimes when in dire situations, you can really feel hopeless :-/
  • VilhjalmrVilhjalmr
    edited July 2010
    babystars wrote: »
    Hmmm... Ok. Thanks all for your advice :) I guess sometimes it's just our own anxiety for our loved ones and we are the ones who need to be more relaxed :lol: though well sometimes when in dire situations, you can really feel hopeless :-/
    Yeah, and that's no fun. I know that some branches of Buddhism contain meditations or prayers for the purposes you describe - I'd guess Tibetan or Mahayana Buddhism, mostly - but I'm afraid I don't know much more.

    --Vil
  • fivebellsfivebells Veteran
    edited July 2010
    babystars wrote: »
    Haha! Well, I would do that for myself but if it's for others? Nag at them? :p
    "Don't pick up what isn't yours."
  • DeshyDeshy Veteran
    edited July 2010
    If it's any help, metta meditation will be great here. It helps you calm your mind, feel immense happiness as you go deeper in the meditation (helps reduce anxiety and the needless worry). Spread love for all living beings not only the people you love. In a way metta meditation helps you practice letting go. Make your mind more prepared to accept natural phenomena as part of nature, like the death/sickness of a loved one for instance. We cannot alter nature. Things that arise will eventually fade and pass away.
  • johnathanjohnathan Canada Veteran
    edited July 2010
    babystars wrote: »
    Some Buddhists believe in god, some don't. At least for me, I don't. Since there's no god that I pray to, what can I do for my loved ones? For example, if you hope for the safety, health, etc of your loved ones, what can you do? Do you chant any sutras or...? :confused:

    Many thanks!

    Looking at this from the point of suffering, namely your own, you may want to just let go... to cling to ones friends and family and fret about there safety and health is to place you in an endless cycle of suffering. Deal with situations as they arise, not before... anticipating an eventuality that might never occur is needless... hoping and praying (in my opinion) only strengthen the level of ones clinging and nothing else.

    Let go of your desire for everything to be alright all the time because it most likely isn't going to be that way, ever... instead of hoping... do... be compassionate to all, or at the least to those you care about, and know that at any moment any one of them could die, become sick, or any number of tragic things, and that you too could have any one of these things happen to you at any moment as well...

    Living in the Now, this very moment, dealing with what is around you is the most important thing one can be doing... you can make a real differnece in the lives that touch yours in a meaningful tangible way every day... hope is only another mental construct to cling to... and Buddhism is about letting go of that which we cling to to end suffering...
  • DairyLamaDairyLama Veteran Veteran
    edited July 2010
    babystars wrote: »
    For example, if you hope for the safety, health, etc of your loved ones, what can you do?

    Just do your best for them at a practical level.:)

    P
  • sukhitasukhita
    edited July 2010
    johnathan wrote: »
    Looking at this from the point of suffering, namely your own, you may want to just let go... to cling to ones friends and family and fret about there safety and health is to place you in an endless cycle of suffering. Deal with situations as they arise, not before... anticipating an eventuality that might never occur is needless... hoping and praying (in my opinion) only strengthen the level of ones clinging and nothing else.

    Let go of your desire for everything to be alright all the time because it most likely isn't going to be that way, ever... instead of hoping... do... be compassionate to all, or at the least to those you care about, and know that at any moment any one of them could die, become sick, or any number of tragic things, and that you too could have any one of these things happen to you at any moment as well...

    Living in the Now, this very moment, dealing with what is around you is the most important thing one can be doing... you can make a real differnece in the lives that touch yours in a meaningful tangible way every day... hope is only another mental construct to cling to... and Buddhism is about letting go of that which we cling to to end suffering...

    Well said! :thumbsup:
  • GuyCGuyC Veteran
    edited July 2010
    Transmetaphysical wrote: »
    I personally think that prayer is the worst thing that you could do. It doesn't accomplish anything except make you feel like you did something.

    Maybe it is useless for the skeptically minded, but those who have a lot of devotion may find it skilful.
  • october1560october1560
    edited July 2010
    What I ment with my remark is that prayer and chanting are ritualistic and may very effectively modify your energy and your feel. You don't have to believe in a deity to do that. No matter what your purpose is.

    Just my opinion.

    october1560
  • CristinaCristina
    edited July 2010
    october1560 wrote: »
    Why? Why do you chant? Do you really need a deity to chant, based on a philosophical system that actually works for you?

    october1560

    I don't chant anything. Maybe my phrasing was odd. I meant to say that even if we chant or prey to God all day it's not going to reach the ears of a deity and cause them to cure our loved one of cancer, for example. This coming from someone who doesn't believe in God. If you do, you may disagree.
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