Welcome home! Please contact lincoln@icrontic.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take several days. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.
Only focusing on present not future?
I'm aware that the nature of buddhism is to focus on the present. but does that mean I can't have dreams for the future? The future/my dreams/goals act as motivation for me, and without them I become apathetic, indifferent. I want to envision a bright future for me and set goals for myself but then isn't that desire? Can someone help enlighten me on where buddhism stands on this?
0
Comments
Dreaming of the future can be a slippery slope, but its not at all bad to have goals. When it becomes an issue is when it prevents you from understanding or appreciating the present.
For instance, if you wish to have a new car, and you have a desire for a new car, then its ok! No worries! If that desire makes you hate your present car, and have unenjoyable rides every day because you wish you had something you do not, then its an attached desire, and it is pulling you away from the magic that is here and now. Its not "bad" to dislike your present car, but you could enjoy where you are and still have intent to go elsewhere. We're good like that, very broad minds and so forth.
Like the car, if you want to lose weight, or lift weights, get married, meditate more, talk more kindly, skydive... whatever it is, as long as the preference does not make you dislike the opposite, or the present, I would consider it a skillful enough desire.
Eventually, you might find that you are content, and don't need desire anymore, but its not something you should force. If you focus your intent on simply appreciating the heck out of the joy that is now, other things naturally fade, and that which endures is usually important enough to pursue.
With warmth,
Matt
Thanks, but what about desiring a person? If I'm single and I 'desire' to be with someone, is that okay?
It's not a matter of whether or not it's "okay" or "not okay". If one desires, then they desire.
The goal of Buddhism is not to pretend we don't desire, or to come down on ourselves if we desire. The goal is to understand our desire within the framework of the nature of desire, how it hooks us, and how that relates to suffering and freedom. And then to "unhook" the hook that our desire has in us ... this is not artificially achieved, but is the natural result of understanding.
And the work of Buddhism to is move towards that understanding. It can take lifetimes. In the meantime, if everyone stopped desiring another, I guess there'd be no more humans and that "precious human rebirth" would become pretty darn scarce!
Great post. I completely agree. Trying to get rid of desire is just more desire right there. The bolded text is what I have to keep reminding myself of.
There are wholesome desires, but most of our day-to-day desires lead to attachment and ultimately to suffering. Just be mindful of your desires as they arise, and be aware of where they may lead you.:)
P
Well described.:)
P
This depends on how you approach the issue. There is the "desire" to be with a person, and the aspiration to be with a person.
Being in relationships is part of being human. But if we project our own desires onto the other person, and develop unrealistic expectations and relate to them disingenuously instead of authentically, then that would be considered relatively dysfunctional in Buddhism. If you desire to be with the person for the sake of that other person, and relate to them authentically, then that would be relatively more functional in terms of Buddhism.
I guess he gets a bit ridiculed amongst "traditional" Buddhists but I don't think anyone speaks better on living in the Now than Ekhart Tolle. He has lots of videos , audio etc so maybe check what he guides on this:)
namaste
So once again, I agree with what's already been said- if you are happy and can enjoy life now, but still have future plans, that's perfectly fine. You just have to be aware and "okay" with the fact that those plans may never materiralize, at least how you see it. If, on the other hand, you are miserable looking for this other person and cannot enjoy life... well obviously something needs to change so that you are no longer miserable!
With simple desire, if I don't give into it, I feel alright and as a matter of fact, I often feel really good about it. It can lift me and make me feel stronger. Craving on the other hand, begins to drive me. Obsession can be part of it. It is like a desire that has lost all reasoning. A crazy desire if you will.
There is a reason why they call perfumes things like Obsession. Imagine that, labeling a product after some form of mental imbalance and using it to sell or make the product more desirable.
To the OP, I would draw a line between desire and craving to make the distinction.
This article says it all.
Yes. Craving is the desire that leads to suffering. The desire that leads to liberation is part of the eightfold path:
The nature of buddhism is to find liberation from suffering.
I am trying to tell people you don't need to be dead inside, but they get angry somehow. :P
nicely put...
That has been my worst fear when I started practising buddhism several years ago. Loosing everything trading it in for living in the moment.
In reality, I have only more in the now then I ever had before....