Living peacefully in the world as a Technologist

TreadingWater

I'm a software engineer, web developer, general geek. I've been interested in and lightly practicing Buddhism for quite a few years now. I was drawn to Buddhism in part because it spoke to many of the things that have distressed me for most of my life. I have issues with self control with food. I have a tendency to play too many video games. I don't consider these vices, but to the extreme I take them they definitely make the quality of my life and my wife's life worse.

The problem is that as a software engineer. I love what I do. I can't completely unplug. So how do I make peace between what I want to be and what I have to do? What's the middle ground? I'd love to hear experiences from other people who have gone through this kind of life. Multiple computers, iPhone, Tivo, etc. All competing for your mindspace when you really feel like the best thing for you would be to meditate, go for a bike ride, anything but those things.

Do you shed whole technologies and go cold turkey? Is it better to work on the practice of meditating first to get to the point where you can put these things away and walk by them?

fivebells

Meditation is about building capacity to directly experience the emotional core driving those kinds of patterned behaviors. There is no reason why you shouldn't try to apply meditation to internet addiction immediately. (With "mindfulness" and so forth.) In fact, it may accelerate the practice. Just don't expect quick results.

(Still struggling with internet addiction, else I wouldn't be here.)

The Acceleration of Addictiveness

TreadingWater

fivebells wrote: »

Meditation is about building capacity to directly experience the emotional core driving those kinds of patterned behaviors. There is no reason why you shouldn't try to apply meditation to internet addiction immediately. (With "mindfulness" and so forth.) In fact, it may accelerate the practice. Just don't expect quick results.

(Still struggling with internet addiction, else I wouldn't be here.)

The Acceleration of Addictiveness

So are you saying you wouldn't try to go cold turkey on some of the things I'm talking about? We're swimming in technology. As a software developer not only am I on my laptop 8+ hours a day, but I've grown up with video games, etc. iPhone in my pocket, all that stuff. So it's hard to know where I need to draw the line in order to even be able to sit down and meditate. Sometimes it feels very chicken and the egg. Which is going to happen first? I meditate and I can therefore put away the toys or I put away the toys and then I can meditate?

mugzy

TreadingWater wrote: »

So are you saying you wouldn't try to go cold turkey on some of the things I'm talking about? We're swimming in technology. As a software developer not only am I on my laptop 8+ hours a day, but I've grown up with video games, etc. iPhone in my pocket, all that stuff. So it's hard to know where I need to draw the line in order to even be able to sit down and meditate. Sometimes it feels very chicken and the egg. Which is going to happen first? I meditate and I can therefore put away the toys or I put away the toys and then I can meditate?

You don't need to get rid of all your things to meditate. I think the misconception is that one needs to live an ascetic lifestyle in order to "properly" meditate, which is not true.

Technology itself isn't the problem - the problem is your relation to material objects. You could get rid of all your things, separate completely from technology and be in the exact same predicament. You could still be miserable because of your attachment.

So if you feel like you're too addicted to your material objects and techno gadgets, then you should start with your own mindset. Meditation doesn't need to take up a lot of time. Put away your computer, iPhone, whatever, and just sit. Start with a few minutes and work your way up. If you find yourself wanting to play with your toys, acknowledge that feeling and bring your awareness back to the present moment. It's better to be realistic with your meditation goals when you're starting out than to try for too much and get discouraged.

fivebells

Obviously, put away the toys if they're getting in the way of meditation.

Nios

I used to be addicted to video games. I'd play them til 3am and then be late for work. My wife (girlfriend at the time) would get upset because I wasn't paying her any attention, then i'd get agitated at the slightest thing. So I made the decision to get rid of the games and go cold turkey. I was bored at first and missed the games, but then things started to improve. Not only my meditation but also my life. That was many years ago, and I haven't regretted it. I still refuse to buy a PS or Xbox etc and I won't play games on-line either. My life is better without it.

My advice would be to do a bit of an experiement. Get rid of the things you don't really need (like the games) for a couple of months. See how your life changes, if at all.

Nios.

chryssa

i think for me, the best thing to deal with our so-called technology addiction is being aware of what we are doing and how it affects the people around us. i too am working infront of the computer almost 24/7 but i have a child to care for and share my time with. so the least i could do is spend all my weekends with her. i try to calm myself when stress comes to me just by doing nothing and gathering all my thoughts. have not done any meditation yet but for me that's how i "meditate". have you tried going camping and leaving all the technology behind well except cellphone for emergency purposes, you'll see that it's not too bad as long as that time is well-spend with your family.when your wife asks you to go to the movie then go don't hesitate although you know that you have something to finish, you can always deal with it later, at least that's how i do it, that's how i try and find the balance. hope this helps.

ZendoLord84

i think you can do / be both....practise buddhism and be a technologist...

i'm into ICT too, troubleshooting for customers...I spend each day 8 hours behind 2 screens, and then when i'm home I play games and such...Still I meditate every day and try to follow the 5 precepts and the noble eightfold path. I excercise, walk the dog, choires in house, gardenwork, I do it all...

If you meditate regular, and you look up some more on attachment / clinging, you will be able to find YOUR (i think it's different from person to person) balance in life.

Unlikelybdst

I've gone cold turkey with a lot of the video games and computer-related stuff. After a little while, I realized that I was not actually missing anything that much. I had a lot more time to work on my mind and read books, which is how I ended up getting interested in Buddhism. I used to (and still partially do) label myself as "the computer guy", "iphone developer" etc etc, but the label itself doesn't bring me much satisfaction any more, besides having a simple one-liner to answer those stupid "so, what do you do?" questions from strangers (mindfulness moment: I just felt angry at the strangers that ask that question - noted for further investigation - and we are back to the breathing lol).

I think the fact that you are asking these questions and are looking for a way "to live peacefully" means that you should spend more time thinking about it - which is where meditation comes in. The PS3 controller is not going anywhere - but your mind is.

Random idea: next time you are playing video games, try to "zoom out" and note how you are feeling about the experience, or ask the question "why am I playing this game?". I heard my mind come up with some very interesting answers (such as, "because I am angry at such and such, and this game helps me relax" - tells you something).

TreadingWater

Unlikelybdst wrote: »

I've gone cold turkey with a lot of the video games and computer-related stuff. After a little while, I realized that I was not actually missing anything that much. I had a lot more time to work on my mind and read books, which is how I ended up getting interested in Buddhism. I used to (and still partially do) label myself as "the computer guy", "iphone developer" etc etc, but the label itself doesn't bring me much satisfaction any more, besides having a simple one-liner to answer those stupid "so, what do you do?" questions from strangers (mindfulness moment: I just felt angry at the strangers that ask that question - noted for further investigation - and we are back to the breathing lol).

I sold one video game system after talking to you guys and some friends. The other I just stashed the games and controller. Things are starting to get better. I've had a few really good days in a row and I"m starting to get that same feeling of having defined myself by these labels. "Gamer", "Software Geek", etc.

Unlikelybdst wrote: »

I think the fact that you are asking these questions and are looking for a way "to live peacefully" means that you should spend more time thinking about it - which is where meditation comes in. The PS3 controller is not going anywhere - but your mind is.

Sure. I know this. I've had an interesting life. Lots of mental and emotional turmoil. Lots of psychiatry visits and peace, relaxation, exercise and Buddhism are the only things to truly put me at peace. So I would never say video games relax me. They just became that thing I do. This week has been much better. I'm even considering going to a local temple for a beginner Zazen practice.

Unlikelybdst

TreadingWater wrote: »

This week has been much better. I'm even considering going to a local temple for a beginner Zazen practice.

Excellent! Don't forget to reflect on the fact that moods and emotional states are impermanent. "Feeling better" will one day change to "not feeling so good anymore". Make peace with this thought. If it depresses you, make note of that feeling, reflect on it (it too will go away). Try to avoid developing attachment to your present "good" condition. And then, when your video game cravings come back, or your meditation practice is not going so well, you'll be ready to reflect on how those cravings and troubles will also change.

Good luck, keep up the good fight :-)

TreadingWater

Unlikelybdst wrote: »

Excellent! Don't forget to reflect on the fact that moods and emotional states are impermanent. "Feeling better" will one day change to "not feeling so good anymore". Make peace with this thought. If it depresses you, make note of that feeling, reflect on it (it too will go away). Try to avoid developing attachment to your present "good" condition. And then, when your video game cravings come back, or your meditation practice is not going so well, you'll be ready to reflect on how those cravings and troubles will also change.

Good luck, keep up the good fight :-)

Sure. I think a better way to put that is not so much that I'm "feeling better" as that I'm no longer feeling chaotic. In turn I *can* feel better.

When I'm feeling chaotic I can't focus on meditation or anything really. When I'm not feeling chaotic I'm free to experience life as it comes which I've learned how to do when I have the opportunity to get my brain in that mode.

Kundo

I also work in ICT. Admittedly I have never been a gamer but I do love technology and the internet (hence why I'm posting here I guess :P). I found though that I had to prioritise my life and I made the conscious choice to "unplug" when I got home from work. I sometimes jump on the pc when my husband is hogging the cross trainer and when my daughter is doing homework, but I make a point to unwind with my family without constant technology. The mobile phone stays with the laptop while I eat, talk and relax with my family. I find if I don't have the detachment, I can't meditate when I set to it.

Namaste,
Raven