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i'm a christian and confused

edited July 2010 in Faith & Religion
to be specific im a roman catholic though i don't go to church but i respect the church and i pray every night before going to sleep but i find it hard to concentrate and pray, that always happens. when i pray, there's always something that pops up in my mind which distracts me from praying and im so annoyed every time this happens. i feel like im lost when it comes to anything that has to do with religious matters. there are some things that i really disagree with that my mom practices but i don't tell her i just go with the flow. but still i always ask guidance from above but i really don't believe that someone is up there, as they said, people created Him so that people in despair will feel that they have someone to run too. pardon me if im saying things here that one disagrees with, im just sharing my thoughts.

Comments

  • NiosNios Veteran
    edited July 2010
    Welcome to the forum. Do not be afraid to speak your thoughts here (so long as they are within the forum guidelines that is ;) )
    In my honest opinion, "going with the flow" is not a good thing. I know far to many christians who go to church or say they believe in god out of some sort of duty, or respect, or because it's part of their life/routine. You need to be true to yourself.

    Your chattering mind is not something unusual. In Buddhism we call this the "monkey mind". Everyone suffers from it. But I wonder whether yours might be linked to your growing disbelief in Catholisism.

    What do you think?

    Nios.
  • cazcaz Veteran United Kingdom Veteran
    edited July 2010
    SO you feel like theres no one upstairs yet your still praying isnt that rather pointless ?
  • edited July 2010
    well, i guess my mind is just mess up right now. i need to find peace, i guess, with all the troubles i have gone through in life i just need to be free and just stay cool. im always on the edge and always worrying what the future brings. it's not that i don't really believe in catholisism maybe my faith is not that strong. i always feel there is something missing.
  • cazcaz Veteran United Kingdom Veteran
    edited July 2010
    chryssa wrote: »
    well, i guess my mind is just mess up right now. i need to find peace, i guess, with all the troubles i have gone through in life i just need to be free and just stay cool. im always on the edge and always worrying what the future brings. it's not that i don't really believe in catholisism maybe my faith is not that strong. i always feel there is something missing.

    Perhapes it isnt for you...Wouldnt be the first one to find christianity totally unfuffilling.
    If you dont beleive in god you may as well try else where otherwise your just going to be living a difficult life if your not being true to your beleifs. :)
  • LesCLesC Bermuda Veteran
    edited July 2010
    Chryssa, welcome to the forum. Do not be at all concerned about your mind wandering during prayer, as was already mentioned, it's a human condition, we all do it. It takes practice to keep your mind in check. Most religions don't include that in their fields of study.

    Also with regard to the things that you disagree with, you don't have to have a battle over them with your Mom or anyone, but it is important to be your own person, and to stand up for the things you believe and those you don't. "Going with the flow" as you put it sounds an awful lot like submission.

    Look for ways to find those ideas that support what you believe, and to give you strength to withstand the challenges that will come when you stand your ground. Growing and changing your beliefs and philosophy is a gradual process. Take your time, read, study, learn. Your thoughts and beliefs will crystallize over time and you will make them your own.

    Don't throw the baby out with the bath water. Jesus Christ was a great man. He may not have been divine, but he certainly was an enlightened individual, and if more Christians followed what he actually taught, the world would indeed be a better place. As for God, that concept is so engrained in the pshyche of people, it's very hard to shift.

    For me, I chose to know that there are forces in universe I do not understand, cannot comprehend. I call this God. It fits my need to fill that space where the creator God, or as many of us say, the God of the desert, used to be, but still embues that awe and fascination of the wonder of of nature and the universe.

    I once asked the question, if Buddhist don't believe in God, then who do you pray to? The answer was nebulous and didn't really answer my question, but the upshot was "but prayer works!!" So I pray to the unseen, unknown forces of the universe whom I choose to call God, and that works for me.

    Take your time, don't rush... the road is long and winding with many bumps. Stay here, ask all the questions you wish, no one will try to "convert" you, but don't ask a question you don't really want an answer to.

    Good luck and Metta...

    Les
  • mugzymugzy Veteran
    edited July 2010
    chryssa wrote: »
    but still i always ask guidance from above but i really don't believe that someone is up there...

    Why does God have to be separate, or "up there" as you described? I never understood this concept (but neither do I ascribe to the concept of God as something humans could possibly comprehend). If you believe there is a God, then God would be everywhere, in everything. You need not look any further than within yourself to connect with God.
  • ShutokuShutoku Veteran
    edited July 2010
    I think that rather than worrying about heavy things like God, and religion, you are best to just keep things simple.
    Perhaps when you Pray, keep it to a prayer of gratitude for what you have in your life, God or no God, there can only be positive come from being grateful. It might also allow you to be less worried about the future.
    In the end you cannot control what others believe, and it sounds like you aren't too sure about your own beliefs right now anyway. Sometimes doubt is the fertilizer from which real awakening grows, so dont worry too much about it.
    So just take care of yourself, be kind and compassionate towards yourself in the present moment, and try to do good things for others. If you do that I think the religion thing will sort itself out.
  • aMattaMatt Veteran
    edited July 2010
    chryssa wrote: »
    when i pray, there's always something that pops up in my mind which distracts me from praying and im so annoyed every time this happens.

    chryssa,

    I noticed that you seem to get annoyed by 'things' that pop up in your mind when you're trying to concentrate. Perhaps if you work with your annoyance, just by noticing it, you might find your mind settles down.

    Imagine someone who is frantically looking for peace and not finding it, finally they give up and just rest and find peace without looking. As you pray, if you stop looking for "freedom from distraction" then you might not be interrupted as much, and when you are, it will be no big deal. If you can just notice the thought that arises, and then the annoyance that arises in connection to the thought, you'll be well on your way to freedom from the aggravation.

    I hope your journey is bright, no matter which paths you walk.

    With warmth,

    Matt
  • zidanguszidangus Veteran
    edited July 2010
    aMatt wrote: »
    chryssa,

    I noticed that you seem to get annoyed by 'things' that pop up in your mind when you're trying to concentrate. Perhaps if you work with your annoyance, just by noticing it, you might find your mind settles down.

    Imagine someone who is frantically looking for peace and not finding it, finally they give up and just rest and find peace without looking. As you pray, if you stop looking for "freedom from distraction" then you might not be interrupted as much, and when you are, it will be no big deal. If you can just notice the thought that arises, and then the annoyance that arises in connection to the thought, you'll be well on your way to freedom from the aggravation.

    I hope your journey is bright, no matter which paths you walk.

    With warmth,

    Matt
    Couldn't agree more aMatt, its how you react to such things. By becoming irratated by your thoughts you just add fuel to them. Just try to allow them to arise and pass without making judgement on them and you should see their effect on you diminish. Being mindfull is one of the best life improving skills a person can ever learn. It does take a while to get used to it but you soon come to see the difference it makes. Try it chryssa, if you would like some web links to download audio on guided meditations in mindfullnes please let me know and I will be only to happy to provide you with some.

    metta to all
  • ansannaansanna Veteran
    edited July 2010
    LesC:
    I once asked the question, if Buddhist don't believe in God, then who do you pray to? The answer was nebulous and didn't really answer my question, but the upshot was "but prayer works!!" So I pray to the unseen, unknown forces of the universe whom I choose to call God, and that works for me.
    well, the answer is that i Buddhist prayers, it is the type of cultivation practice of communicating to your own mind , to be specific to your own Buddha nature
    since your mind and the whole reality enviroment are non-duality, they are not ready separated but in oneness, your life is interconnected with all the lifes in the universe.

    when you do the prayers during the Buddhist practice, you are in the practice of conditioning your own mind, sending the inspiration and good will to your enviroment, when your mind is in pure state, you sill create the causes of change and influence to realise and actualize your prayers
    then you will sense that the the whole universe is responsing to you, it a real living net of cause and effect
  • zidanguszidangus Veteran
    edited July 2010
    ansanna wrote: »
    well, the answer is that i Buddhist prayers, it is the type of cultivation practice of communicating to your own mind , to be specific to your own Buddha nature
    since your mind and the whole reality enviroment are non-duality, they are not ready separated but in oneness, your life is interconnected with all the lifes in the universe.

    when you do the prayers during the Buddhist practice, you are in the practice of conditioning your own mind, sending the inspiration and good will to your enviroment, when your mind is in pure state, you sill create the causes of change and influence to realise and actualize your prayers
    then you will sense that the the whole universe is responsing to you, it a real living net of cause and effect
    Hear, hear

    metta to all
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