Howdy, Stranger!

It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!

Sign In Register
Examples: Monday, today, last week, Mar 26, 3/26/04
Welcome home! Please contact lincoln@icrontic.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take several days. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.

Buddhist prayers?

Traveler810Traveler810 Explorer
edited August 2010 in Buddhism Basics
Last night we had a severe stressful crisis. I am new to Buddhism and did not know what to do. I don't know any Buddhist prayers for this or whether there is some other way to find peace in crises. My wife was lost and in trouble - no word from her until I found that she was in an emergency room. I went back to Christian childhood and prayed to God, who I understand to be loving of all and not wrathful....it brought me comfort, but as I understand seeking comfort from outer world (God) does not square with Buddhism. The comfort was only temporary. I tried to realize my wife endeavours to be more and more pure of heart and the karmic result would be fruitful. She wandered off in a daze of high stress and fell into a creek, was found or she was aware enough to seek help. That, I think was her karma. My suffering was from thoughts of losing her in a bit of a selfish way. Now that she is recovering I must help her in a big way, selflessly. And continue to share this relationship ai a selfless way. I need help on this folks. Thank you.

Comments

  • YogiAdamYogiAdam
    edited July 2010
    Are you after a prayer? Om Mani Padme Hung is a very common Tibetan prayer. Is that what you were after? If not, would you kindly re-phrase the question?
  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    edited July 2010
    Prayer for Swift Accomplishment of All Wishes

    In the pollen bed on a stalk of a lake-born lotus,
    Divine being of the spontaneous five wisdom bodies,
    Self-arising great Pema together with your consort
    and rows of Dakinis massing like clouds, we supplicate you.
    Bless us with the swift accomplishment of all our wishes.

    By our recalling your presence,
    Please completely exhaust the fully matured results of negative acts
    --disease, disasters, obstructions, war, and poverty.
    We beseech you from our hearts, Lord of Oddiyana.
    Bless us with the swift accomplishments of all our wishes.

    Well-practiced in faith, ethics, and generosity,
    In liberating the mind stream through hearing,
    In acknowledging shame, considering others,
    and in wisdom—these seven riches of enlightened beings.
    and all accumulated necessities having entered the mind stream of all beings,
    Please ensure all the world to be happy and joyful.
    Bless us with the swift accomplishment of all our wishes.

    In all life-threatening situations where we are harassed
    By ghosts, evil-doers, and negative spirits,
    By fear of fire, flood, vicious animals, and dangers on the road,
    Whatever unwanted suffering and illness appears,
    We have no refuge or hope other than you.
    Please look upon us with compassion, Guru, Lord of Oddiyana.
    Bless us with the swift accomplishment of all our wishes.

    MAY ALL BEINGS BENEFIT!
  • RichardHRichardH Veteran
    edited July 2010
    These two are always on the tip of the toungue and bring comfort. Not so much a prayer as a sacred place of trust to rest your mind. They both evoke and honour the Buddha and the Buddha's way.

    Theravadin....

    Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhassa

    pronounced... namo tasa bagawatoh arahatoh sama sam buddhasa

    Zen .....

    Gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha

    pronounced.... gahtay ghatay para gahtay parasam gahtay bodhi sva ha
  • Traveler810Traveler810 Explorer
    edited July 2010
    My wife went missing for 24 hours. Nothing you have said would could have helped me in those moments. To give up that great suffering I had to give up attachment to my loving wife. We have been married for 24 years. Giving up that attachment and accepting that she might be gone forever was very, very hard. In the middle of filing a missing person report my wife called - safe at a local hospital. I come to this forum for insight. That is seeking in the outer. I must seek on inner. Your responses could not have helped me in my moments of fearful suffering. I must go inward now. I believe the Buddha said that was paramount. I cannot seek help or insight here. It must come totally from within. I have my own special writings for help.
  • RichardHRichardH Veteran
    edited July 2010
    Traveler810 wrote: »
    My wife went missing for 24 hours. Nothing you have said would could have helped me in those moments. .
    No doubt. "Prayer" may offer comfort, but having your wife (who you are rightly attached to) go missing and possibly in terrible distress is suffering, which is only appropriate. Attachment to your wife is appropriate, suffering as a result of this attachment is appropriate. Fair enough.

    Tis so,:)
  • Traveler810Traveler810 Explorer
    edited July 2010
    I read that when the Buddha was dying one disciple approached him weeping. The Buddha said "you have released all attachments but for one". The disciple asked "and which one is that?" The Buddha said "the attachment to ME". My attachment to my wife is from what we share but also in much emotional support that comes my wary unconditionally from her. In instant I gave up that attachment, it seemed by Karma, we reconnected. My suffering because my attachment was to HER and the relationship was not totally mutual. I am now endeavouring to help her as much as she helps me.
  • Traveler810Traveler810 Explorer
    edited July 2010
    My attachment to my wife was to the help and support she brought ME. That is notappropriate and suffering will result from this lack of selflessness. Now we are moving towards a mutual effort - supporting each other without attachment. Before she was gone I was suffering in my selfish attachment. I believe a marriage with suffering because of attachments is not a good marriage in the Buddhist sense. I had to give up my self attachment to find a mutual relationship free of suffering.
  • Traveler810Traveler810 Explorer
    edited July 2010
    Would the Buddha say that any attachments and suffering in a marriage was "appropriate"? I don't think so. Perhaps many western psychologists would say this is appropriate. I do not seek spiritual guidance from a psychologists. Their purpose is supposed to be as a professional listener. Those who dole out advice are not good practioners, especially for a Buddhist client. All suffering must fall. That's not by divorce but by finding the middle ground of MUTUAL support...no attachments.
  • mugzymugzy Veteran
    edited July 2010
    I'm a little confused by all this...
  • Traveler810Traveler810 Explorer
    edited July 2010
    My son died when he was 13. I sobbed a long time at the viewing. The common knowledge is that those who are crying at a death are crying for THEMSELVES and what THEY have lost. It was an attachment that led to the suffering at the moment of the loved one's death. my son was severely disabled, could not walk not talk. I took care of his every need. I would suppose I had no opportunity to build negative Karma matter in this incarnation. So why was I not rejoicing that at the very least he might be reincarnated free of disability, maybe a better life. It is unlikely he would be born into worse suffering. He was loved and cared for while. My tears were selfish. I lost MY son.
  • Traveler810Traveler810 Explorer
    edited July 2010
    What's the source of your confusion, mugzy?
  • RichardHRichardH Veteran
    edited July 2010
    Your last post was unclear. I'm not sure what you are trying to say.

    This is my basic view on marriage and "attachment" to "her"......


    There is a respected monk who is the teacher of my family and I. He has put aside many monastic duties over the years, including leaving his position as an Abbott, in order to care for his elderly mother. One time a lay person who had been following these changes said to him in front of the gathered Sangha.... "Aren't you attached to your mother?" The monks response was sharp... "Ofcourse I'm attached to my mother, she's my mother!!" Getting married is getting attached. It is a commitment to suffer that attachment. There may be a different unskillful things going on, and you may have your own self centered attachments that cause problems, but your attachment to your wife and anguish at the thought of her suffering is appropriate. Ending that attachment is ending your marriage, ending your love. saying it as otherwise is disingenuous.

    once again your last post was unclear so I may be speaking a different point.
  • Traveler810Traveler810 Explorer
    edited July 2010
    This back and forth is not helping me. When the Buddha was dying someone asked "who will be our teacher when you die". He said "my teachings have been written; learn them and master them". Perhaps the Buddha would have thought any intellectual debates are not fruitful and will not lead to learning. Yes, this is confusing because many people here have a different "slant" on Buddhism.
  • RichardHRichardH Veteran
    edited July 2010
    Traveler810 wrote: »
    My son died when he was 13. I sobbed a long time at the viewing. The common knowledge is that those who are crying at a death are crying for THEMSELVES and what THEY have lost. It was an attachment that led to the suffering at the moment of the loved one's death. my son was severely disabled, could not walk not talk. I took care of his every need. I would suppose I had no opportunity to build negative Karma matter in this incarnation. So why was I not rejoicing that at the very least he might be reincarnated free of disability, maybe a better life. It is unlikely he would be born into worse suffering. He was loved and cared for while. My tears were selfish. I lost MY son.

    This is crazy. Yes he was YOUR son. to deny that in the name of half cocked buddhism is wrong. He was your son, he died you suffered that is that. I am a father and husband. That is the deal.
  • RichardHRichardH Veteran
    edited July 2010
    enough. seek a counselor
  • Traveler810Traveler810 Explorer
    edited July 2010
    Richard H. I agree that my wife and I have a deep attachment of love. So it is to say that the prospect of my wife's suffering or seeing it bringing MY suffering. We took Christian vows way back "....for better or for worse...in sickness and in heath....etc." Yes I must bare any suffering in the marriage attachment. That seems also a proper Buddhist way I now see. I cannot fathom breaking the attachment to my wife. That attachment has kept our marriage going though many diffcult timees.
  • Traveler810Traveler810 Explorer
    edited July 2010
    I do have alot of self centered issues. I do have a good counselor which I have had for years. He and I ARE working on the self center issues. Coming here I cannot become a good Buddhist without being an informed Buddhist is not fair for me or you. Assuming I should seek a therapist without asking first if I HAVE one is a bit of an insult. And as far as my Buddhist knowledge and practice, I have a good and thorough introductory on Buddhism and I must return my studies and follow a new book on mindfullness. This back and forth between Buddhists at diifferent levels (and my level is NOT half cocked - just not well studied). Would any back and forth with a neophite in Buddhism be ok except between a Buddhist teacher and a student. These back and forths do not seem Buddhist, even with my meager knowledge of Buddhism. It is time for ME to learn more about Buddhism (that practice as well as the insights I get in therapy for increased self awareness). Seeking "help" here is nonsense. I will continue to view here. I have alot to learn by MYSELF.
  • RichardHRichardH Veteran
    edited July 2010
    It is hard say from your posts, but it looks as if you are using Buddhist ideas to disassociate from your wife, which is not helpful and may be compounding her suffering. It sounds like you have been through an appalling experience, and you are not alone, we all suffer and will go through what you have gone through in one way or another. The talk on this website is not up to the issues you are dealing with. If at all possible you and your wife should seek help together to help you through this. Put concern for attachment aside for now and seek councelling together. That is sincere advice.
  • RichardHRichardH Veteran
    edited July 2010
    ok I didnt see that last post, I'm not trying to insult you. but do see your use of "attachment" in the context you present unhelpful to say the least. You have a therapist Ok

    I don't know what to say except that your issues are not going to be addressed here. How could they be?


    I understand your suffering. I have a child with a disability, and a partner who just survived breast cancer, It's rough. You have my compassion.
  • Traveler810Traveler810 Explorer
    edited July 2010
    At a previous thread I started, the "back and forths" were ALL OVER THE PLACE. Many people, not all, seemed to have many varied "slants" on Buddhism. I must look at single consistent sources I my search. The first replies were in languages I would probably never know. Is this assistance. My awarenes, according to my meager knowlledge, must start wiith inner. I was mistakenly seeking awareness here -futile. I must admit most of you are much more adept than I at this. For me to make blank uniformed comments is not is half cocked - I JUST DO NOT KNOW ENOUGH OF BUDDHISM to make clear remarks.
  • RichardHRichardH Veteran
    edited July 2010
    Can you find a Buddhist teacher in your area?
  • RichardHRichardH Veteran
    edited July 2010
    Support of Sangha, community, can make a huge difference.
  • Traveler810Traveler810 Explorer
    edited July 2010
    Maybe you did not get my recent post. I agree that my issues are not going to be addressed here. My therapist is just a calm listener - no advice. He is the sounding board - this cannot be. I will focus on Buddhist study and practice. My wife has now some pesonal issues that have surfaced. She will be seeking treatment but her specialists say that for a while she must face her issues alone. I cannot elaborate. For now I am stronger, and must support her in her current journey. Eventually we will seek help together. Now is just not the time. We ARE attached in love and our journey may get rough soon, maybe not. I am prepared for anything. Thank you. Besides forums, I have many friends to talk to for support as does she. Many are mutual.
  • Traveler810Traveler810 Explorer
    edited July 2010
    The nearest Buddhist teachers and communities are at least 60 miles away. My wife is Christian, we tolerate kindness and compassion in any faith. This is not keep us apart.
  • Traveler810Traveler810 Explorer
    edited July 2010
    It is getting late here, my wife is already asleep and my daughter needs to use the computer. I feel too uninformed to comment here. My wife and I are recovering from a gruesome discovery. The authorities are investigating it. I cannot give details. It sent both of us into a traumatic real. We discovered something done by someone else...very,very disturbing. This goes beyond our relationship...deep trauma. Yours in peace.
  • shenpennangwashenpennangwa
    edited August 2010
    YogiAdam wrote: »
    Are you after a prayer? Om Mani Padme Hung is a very common Tibetan prayer. Is that what you were after? If not, would you kindly re-phrase the question?
    Om mani padme hung is not a Tibetan prayer.
    Its an Indian Buddhist mantra that has been recited since long before Buddhism was even introduced to Tibet.
  • mugzymugzy Veteran
    edited August 2010
    Traveler810 wrote: »
    It is getting late here, my wife is already asleep and my daughter needs to use the computer. I feel too uninformed to comment here. My wife and I are recovering from a gruesome discovery. The authorities are investigating it. I cannot give details. It sent both of us into a traumatic real. We discovered something done by someone else...very,very disturbing. This goes beyond our relationship...deep trauma.

    Frankly, I don't know why you're here to begin with.

    [Edit: I'm sorry. I should say, I don't know what you're talking about and I don't know why you're writing about it on this forum. I'm still confused.]
Sign In or Register to comment.